I’m still buzzing from the glorious wonder that was today’s historic CicLAvia, so in lieu of me waxing all misty-eyed over such a beautiful thing, just travel with me for a three-minute handlebar cam timelapse I made of the latter half of my second roundtrip of the 7.5-mile route from Boyle Heights’ Hollenbeck Park to East Hollywood’s Bicycle District.

Their motto was “Daily at Your Door,” and daily they came. Covering hundreds of miles every week, the Helms Bakery coach was always stocked with donuts, cookies, pastries and candies, and freshly-baked bread. And you thought food trucks were new.

The year was 1936.

Photo from the Los Angeles Public Library

Ready for the big one? Practice with me and another nearly 7 Million Californians on 10/21 at 10:21AM. Its easy, sign up with The Great California Shake Out and follow the simple instructions to participate HERE.

Looking for more than participating in the drill? They have the resources available to help you organize a drill in your home or office. Their website HERE.

Still looking for more. The Los Angeles Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) is looking for some regular folks to step up and be ready to help out in a catastrophe. You can visit their web site for information on how to sign up, take FREE classes and be ready to help the community out when the big one hits.

Check out LA Moves web site for more quake information that is Los Angeles Specific. Their site is being constantly updated with local information and activities. They have a big event planned to coincide with next years Shake Out.

Got your earthquake kit for your home completed? I check mine twice yearly and toss out the old stuff and put in new. That includes both food stuff and batteries for the flashlights. Do you have your own personal quake kit for your cars (water, snack bars, blanket, flashlight and first aid kit)? What about for at work? If you work in an office environment where dress shoes or pumps are de rigueur do you have some tenny runners to swap out to for the long walk to a shelter or home?

For you newbies to LA who haven’t been in a real quake yet do you know what to do? This short vid from the ’08 Shake out still applies.  Youtube HERE.


And just for a reminder as to what to expect when the big one hits this Youtube video from last years simulates the shaking intensity from epicenter in the desert to LA just to prepare you for what to expect when a large quake strikes. Youtube HERE.

A cheesesteak from South Philly Experience. Who knew this would be one of LA's best dishes?

And it’s the part of the meal with the most uncertainty. Did you make the right choice? You came here in the mood for pasta, but that fish sounded so good. Should you have gotten an appetizer? Soup? Will there be enough naan?

We kinda feel that way too. Which is why we’re closing the Menu Mining series, but keeping a thumb in the middle for future reference. So, while the bulk of our series detailing the best dishes in Los Angeles is over, you may see it pop up occasionally. So keep your eyes peeled.

In the meantime, here’s the master list of all the posts thus far.

The Inaugural Post

Garage Pizza’s eponymous pie

Little Dom’s Blueberry Ricotta Pancakes

Salt Peanut Chocolate Cake at The Nickel Diner

Crepes au Lard at Cafe Massila

Musso & Frank’s Semi-Secret Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Deep Fried Quesadillas at Antojitos Carmen

Potato Balls and Rellenitos at Porto’s

Slippery Shrimp at Yang Chow

Tuna Tuna Bowl at TOT Little Tokyo

Garlic Chicken at Versailles

Calzone at LaRocco’s Pizza

Bun Thit Nuong at Golden Deli

Chilaquiles at Hugo’s

Jake’s Mushroom Burger

Cafe Tropical’s Medianoche Sandwich

Sticky Toffee Pudding at Waterloo and City

Drunken Shrimp at The Gumbo Pot

Empanadas and Chimichurri at El Morfi

Shanghai Pan-Fried Dumplings at Kang Kang Food Court

Starting today and going on until the 17th, the second annual LA Beer Week Festival celebrates the greatness that is beer.  I know, you’re going to say, smartly and/or snarkily, “Every week is LA Beer Week”.  Yes, but it’s not every week that special casks will be opened and tapped for the first time, nor is it every week where your local pub will have something special on tap for one night only.  And what is beer without the food – especially the cheese – to go with it?  There is, for example, a cheese and beer event on the 13th at the Karl Strauss brewery in Universal City.  The following day, Patrick Rue, owner of The Bruery will be on tap (heh heh) at Verdugo Bar to share a few rare beers.  Hot Knives – who prove that you can drink beer and not eat meat and still be men – will pair cheese with Rue’s brews.  Sorry, wine – in this economy, cheese’s preferred plus one is a little more blue collar.

In honor of Beer Week and, more directly, in a blatant attempt to score tickets to the sold out Bruery/Hot Knives event, I’m going to share one of my favorite beer and cheese pairings with you.  Trust me, if you walked onto Noah’s ark that fateful night to see how he was doing with his little pet project there, you’d see these two finding each other in the corner, playfully bickering, but always bringing out the best in each other, as all great pairings are wont to do.  In short, it’d be like a Biblical rom-com starring Jennifer Aniston as Eve and Matthew McConaughey as Adam.  I know you want to see it.

I’m going to let Wallace here introduce you to one of my favorite cheeses, edam.  [You're going to have to sit through a short ad for something Australian - sorry.]

Assuming that the Shopper 13 could drop off the cheese and get on to the local liquor store, I’d bet that Gromit would direct it to pick up a nice strong ale.  You see, that red wheel of edam is a little mild, almost timid, and needs a strong ale to show off its very best parts without bullying and overwhelming it.  Edam is not the type to turn you off too quickly by coming on too strongly, the way blue cheese is apt to do.  The cheese may be a little (pine) nutty, but it’s not crazy.  No, edam is as smooth and mild as Clark Kent, with a few licks of salt in there to make you think that it’s a pre-seasoned sailor nearly ready to take on the high seas.

I’ve found edam at a few markets and noticed that they’re shipped off into the world while they’re quite young.  Me, I like edam the way I like my women: a little more mature, a lot more experienced.   An older edam is sharper, and its sailor’s cap is a markedly saltier than its former younger self.  It’s a nuttier too, but it’s not at the insanity that is Captain Ahab.  Naw, the edam, while now strongly mild and a little crumbly, is still its mellow yellow self.

The first time I had aged edam was when I was in Bristol, which, incidentally, is home to Aardman and Wallace and Gromit.  It was post-midnight, it was after I attended a lecture, and it was very cold. Shivering, I was given a warm dark ale, little balls of edam, and three apple slices.  In that order.  For the life of me, I can’t remember the exact ale, but I can tell you it was strong, and it was perfect with the apples and edam.

To compensate for my bad memory and in tribute to our cheese-loving friend Wallace and his trusty Charlie Chaplin of a dog, Gromit, I offer up one of my favorite English strong ales to complement the edam:  Fuller’s 1845.  Fuller’s makes a few different beers – a London Porter, an ESB – but the 1845 has a special spot in my heart for being one of the first beers that made me feel like an adult and not like a sorority girl stupidly grinning after downing a bottle of Smirnoff Ice.  You can drink this one with the guys during Monday night football, but it’s strong enough to be carried from the coffee to the dining table without making you feel or look like an alcoholic.  This is not Corona, and nothing on the bottle will turn blue when it reaches a certain temperature.

You have to drink this one a little warm.  Just a bit.  Otherwise, the chill will dilute and/or mask all sorts of crazy flavors you think you wouldn’t get in a beer: juniper berries, rustic bread fresh from the oven, fruit.  A (warm) Fuller’s 1845 is damn good with most things, but paired with edam, the malty, fruity flavors of the beer really bring out the tangy, nutty flavors of the cheese.  For its part, the edam brings out a sweet and caramel flavor to the beer, with strong hints of velvet cocoa showing up to the party a few microseconds later.  You don’t feel uncomfortably full after swinging the alcohol and ball of fat, either, which you do sometimes when a beer and cheese pairing is a little off.  See?  The two deserve each other, and I mean that in the best way possible.  (By the by, this beer also goes well with Wallace’s favo[u]rite cheese of all time, Wensleydale, but that’s for another entry masquerading as a blog post far off into the future.).

You can find edam at your local cheese shop (try the Cheese Store of Silver Lake or the Cheese Store of Beverly Hills).  I picked up my bottle of Fuller’s 1845 from Cap’n Cork in Los Feliz, but also look for it when you’re out and about at the Fifth Amendment Alehouse in Santa Monica.  I’ve also had the luck to find it on tap at The Daily Pint, also in Santa Monica (and a participant in LA Beer Week!).  Failing that, you can find Fuller’s at Beer Week participants 1739 Public House in Los Feliz and Waterloo & City in Culver City.

So many beers, so many cheeses, so much time (10 days!) to sample new brews and eats.  Hopefully I don’t sound like your mother, but I would be remiss if I didn’t say: stay safe.  Like every other beer week, right?

There are book signing and then there are Weird book signings that make it all the more fun to attend. This Friday night from 8pm to 10pm, writer Joe Oesterle, who has written a number of the book’s subjects, and other special guests will be at the legendary Boardners bar off Hollywood Blvd. to mingle, sign books, and share some of the weirder tales Los Angeles has been host to.  This book signing is also being co-sponsored by our past city captain David Markland and creator of CreepyLA.

It’s definitely going to be a weird event. Hope to see you there.

Special Guests so far include:
- Karie Bible (from Film Radar, and more notoriously rumored to be the Lady In Black)
- Scott Michaels (celebrity death expert, owner/operator of Dearly Departed Tours)
- Count Smokula (horror host, songwriter)
- Dennis Woodruff (yeah, that guy with the cars)
- Richard Carradine (GHOULA founder, author of The Park After Dark: An Unauthorized Guide to the Happiest (Haunted) Place on Earth)
- Rich Kuras, Managing Editor of Mania.com
- Christopher Dennis, aka Superman (George Reeves look-a-like) on Hollywood Blvd.
- Steve Goldstein author of “LA’s Graveside Companion.”
- Donna Lethal, sassy Hollywood aficionado and writer
- David Markland (creator, CreepyLA)

Deets 10/8 8PM-10PM, Boardners Bar 1652 N. Cherokee Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90028

Names can be deceiving and although Kang Kang Food Court has the words “food court” in its name, it’s not like the food court you’ll see at your local mall. But in concept, Kang Kang is like a food court in that it has a huge selection of food– it’s a small restaurant in a shopping center in the SGV with a giant “fast food” menu featuring hundreds of cheap and delicious items from all over Taiwan and various regions of China.

If you come here, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by all the choices, but I’ll make it simple for you– it’s the Shanghai pan-fried dumplings/buns that this place is really known for. The Shanghai Sheng Jian Bao (上海生煎包) is Kang Kang’s signature dish; you can see patrons chowing down on them at every other table. And as the banner over the doorway proudly proclaims, it was one of the L.A. Times’ Top 10 Recipes of 2009.

These gems are filled with pork, wrapped in a thin dough, pan-fried to perfection and topped with black sesame seeds and green onion. When cooked, the pork filling creates a hot “soup” that fills the inside of the bun. But be warned! Your first instinct may be to take a giant bite into a piping hot dumpling. If you do this, your bun will explode into a hot mess and the inside of your mouth will be instantly scalded! Trust me, I’ve seen it happen. I’ve also been the victim of squirting bun soup juice, so be kind to your fellow eaters and learn the method to eating them so that you don’t lose the soup (the best part!).

The first thing to do is to be careful not to poke a hole in the dumpling while you’re picking it up with your chopsticks. Once you’ve picked up the dumpling, rest it on the spoon (which you’re holding with your other hand) so you can take a small bite on the top of the bun (just enough to make a hole in the dough). Then slowly (carefully) suck the soup out of the dumpling– or if you like to play with your food like I do, up-end the dumpling soup into our soup spoon. The buns are served with a black rice vinegar so after the soup is gone, you can then dip the bun into vinegar and carefully enjoy the rest of the hot dumpling.

It’s kind of ironic that the Shanghai Sheng Jian Bao are not made before 11am at Kang Kang because they are actually a common breakfast food in Shanghai. They’re also often sold as dian xin (點心) (or snacks) and are rarely found as a dish in a main meal in China. But at Kang Kang, they can be the centerpiece of a meal.

My suggestion is to come in, order a combo from the food line (you’ll see when you get there), order the Shanghai pan-fried dumplings at the cashier when you pay for your food and enjoy the combo items while they pan-fry your dumpling goodness. If you can find a table, eat there instead of ordering them to go– the dumplings are better fresh (though they do travel well), and you get tea with your meal if you eat in. A 3-item combo (which comes with rice and soup) + an order of 8 pan-fried dumplings will run you $11. And you’ll probably have leftovers!

And although Kang Kang also does a decent Xiao Long Bao/XLB (小籠包), if you’re here for the pan-fried dumplings, don’t make the mistake of ordering the steamed dumplings which are also sometimes called “Shanghai Dumplings” at other restaurants. (Well, if you’re hungry, you can order both!)

If you have room after all this, check out their shaved ice bar / drink menu. Perfect for hot days in L.A.

Kang Kang Food Court (Pacific Square)
27 E. Valley Blvd
Alhambra, CA 91801
626-308-3898
CASH ONLY

This is a post in Blogging.LA‘s Menu Mining Series.

I’m the proud owner of a pretty deadly combination of psychological quirks: My eyes are bigger than my stomach (and my stomach isn’t exactly tiny), and I hate to waste food. Which is why I wind up groaning on the couch with a distended belly every time I order empanadas from El Morfi, Glendale’s best Argentinean restaurant.

A cheese-and-onion empanada.

Adding to the problem is that the empanadas are pretty remarkably cheap at $1.90 apiece, or $1.30 apiece if you get them take-out style (which I usually do, though El Morfi has a great atmosphere). So I often get myself about six, which is roughly two more than I can comfortably finish. It’s not like the old days of the college cafeteria, when I once attempted to eat my age in fish sandwiches. I was nineteen. I ate seven sandwiches.

But: Empanadas. They come in a pretty broad variety, but my favorite is the corn, a deep-fried pasty full of sweet, hearty chowder. Coming in a close second are cheese-and-onion and cheese-and-jalapeno; the ham-and-cheese are delicious as well. The beef empanadas are pretty good too, though they’re hard not to compare to Jamaican beef patties, which I feel comfortable calling the best kind of empanada in the world, with the possible exception of this one salmon empanada my friend’s grandmother made for me one time in Madrid, and after eating it I marched straight to the American embassy and said I wouldn’t be coming back. Or at least I would have, but I ate too much empanada and couldn’t get off the couch, thus cementing pretty much every European stereotype of Americans.

A corn empanada. It's my favorite.

But no, really: El Morfi empanadas. The best part of ordering these is that El Morfi gives you a sample of their chimichurri sauce, which is surely tied with the garlic sauce from Zankou Chicken as Best Condiment In Los Angeles. Made with olive oil, garlic, parsley and the feather-dandruff from the wings of molting angels, chimichurri is at its best when poured into the open end of an empanada cut in half, so it can drip down and permeate the filling. Put it in your mouth and let the resultant feeling of euphoria roll past your uvula and down your throat. Yes, I know: “That’s what she said.” You know what else she said? Go to El Morfi and get some damn chimichurri sauce. If we don’t support them and they go out of business, god knows where we’ll get the stuff, and I don’t have the money for a ticket to Argentina.

Chimichurri on a wedge of pita. It lasted only seconds after the flash went off.

The folks at El Morfi are smart, though; they only give you a small cup of chimichurri with your empanadas, and then sell the stuff at the counter for $3.75 a jar. Buy it. Slather it on bread. Marinate a chicken in it. Eat it directly from the container. No, don’t do that. You’ll get sick. But buy some. It’s good. You know what? Forget the empanadas if you want. Just get the chimichurri sauce. And bring me some.

Blogger Prom 2010, one of the most exciting, most exclusive parties of the year was held recently at the restaurant with perhaps one of the most beautiful views in Los Angeles, Yamashiro. Too many superlatives for the first sentence, you say? To call this event merely spectacular would be gross understatement.

Obligatory awkward pre-prom photo.

Did you have a good time at your high school prom? Really? I went to two senior proms (as a sophomore I dated a senior; aww yeeeah.) Now granted, it’s been a few years since those proms, but as I recall both were notable for not being particularly memorable. What I do remember is paying more than was reasonable for a mediocre meal, bad music, and hanging out for hours with a bunch of people I didn’t particularly like. (No offense to my old high school friends who may be reading this. Not you, of course; I’m talking about all those other jerks.)

Blogger Prom is the grown up version of what those other proms aspire to be. No generic rented tuxedos here. This year’s theme was “L.A. Confidential,” so attendees dressed with that style/period in mind. Everyone looked fantastic. Rather than some unremarkable hotel ballroom, this prom was held at a gorgeous Hollywood landmark. Also, no need to sneak booze in (Dad, if you’re reading, I probably didn’t do that in high school,) as adult beverages were provided by Pinky Vodka, Zaya Rum, The Beer Chicks and Eagle Rock Brewery, and The Dalmore scotch.

Not to be out done by the drinks, the food was provided by Yamashiro’s own Chef Brock. Among other dishes, Chef Brock made a smoked sausage taco. He brought in the smoked sausage from a 100+ year old smoke house on his own family farm in eastern Washington. Delicious! There was also a great Wasabi Guacamole that  he tells me is not as easy to make as it sounds.

In addition to all of the great food and drink in beautiful surroundings, the guest list was made up entirely of southern California bloggers. It was a chance to see old friends, meet new ones, and finally connect faces to many of the online personas that we were already so familiar with.

Queen JozJozJoz's reign begins. Photo by Heather Kincaid (heatherkincaid.com/blog.)

This event was a prom, and of course, every prom needs its Prom Queen. Nominations happened online, with the final voting being completed on the evening of the prom. There was stiff competition, but ultimately one stood victorious. Blogger Prom Queen 2010 is none other than 8Asians.com editor and Blogging.LA‘s own, JozJozJoz!

As the evening wound down, some continued on to the official Blogger Prom after party at Test Kitchen. As we departed, each guest received a fantastic gift bag filled with everything from Pinkberry and Sprinkles cupcakes to passes to American Cinematheque and the Grammy Museum, a gift certificate for tickets at Goldstar.com and so much more.

The tale of this evening would not be complete without a huge thank you to the Blogger Prom Committee, without whom none of this would have been possible. They all worked so hard to put together this delightful evening and make sure that it was the party of the year, and at that they were wildly successful. In addition to throwing one hell of a party, the committee made this a charitable benefit, and were able to raise $2,400 for Operation Fronline Los Angeles. Thank you Caroline On Crack, E*StarLA, Happy Go Marni, LA and OC Foodventures, LAist, Shop Eat Sleep, The Liquid Muse, and When Tara Met Blog.

The Blogger Prom Committee. Photo by Heather Kincaid (heatherkincaid.com/blog.)

Blogger Prom 2009 was fantastic. Blogger Prom 2010 was even better. I don’t mind telling you, I can’t wait for Blogger Prom 2011. If you weren’t on the guest list this year, you certainly don’t want to miss next year. Start your blog now, and keep your fingers crossed that you make the list. At the very least, start sucking up to your favorite L.A. blogger now, and maybe, just maybe, you can be his +1 for the best party of the year.

The Bringing Back Broadway initiative has announced plans to celebrate the 100-year anniversaries of the three oldest remaining theatres in the Historic Theatre District of Downtown Los Angeles. 100-year-old buildings. IN LOS ANGELES.

The Broadway Centennial Summer is envisioned as a month-long festival of films, art, theatre and tours to honor the oldest surviving theatre district in Los Angeles, and one of the largest intact historic theatre districts in the entire United States.  The two oldest theatres on Broadway, the Arcade Theatre (originally the Pantages) and its next door neighbor, the Cameo Theatre, turn 100 years old this fall, having opened on Sept. 26, 1910 and Oct. 10, 1910, respectively. To coincide with the 100^th anniversary of the theatres opening, property owners of the Arcade and Cameo Theatres say they are planning façade improvements to bring back the original historic character of the theatres. The Palace Theatre opened on June 26, 1911.

Activities will include the 25^th Annual Los Angeles Conservancy Last Remaining Seats screenings in Broadway theatres, special screenings of early films, tours and discussions, historical retrospectives and other arts and cultural activities.

While it remains to be seen exactly what “façade improvements” are in the works for the theaters, I thought you might like to see what the Cameo Theatre originally looked like, when it opened as Clune’s Broadway Theatre in 1910. Wouldn’t you love to see that sign restored?

A city celebrating it’s history. Don’t look now. But, maybe we’re finally growing a conscience.

Photo from Jose Huizar’s flickr stream

Don’t worry. When I first heard the name, I thought it was gross too.

Slippery Shrimp. Just let the sound of it trickle through your ears. It only sounds like a seafood dish at best. At worst it sounds like slang for a sexually transmitted infection, something the government might have made film strips about, to keep our boys overseas from getting too friendly with the Vichy prostitutes. At your most absolute generous, you might assume slippery shrimp is something to eat, and even then it’s only something for the truly adventurous: Legs and eyestalks and feelers all sliding around each other in a desperate struggle to escape an oily fate.

You’d be wrong, of course; Slippery shrimp is comfort food at its most basic. To wit:

Photo by ruth666, with whom I enjoyed this very plate of shrimp.

Yes, you’re looking at a plate of deep-fried shrimp in a sweet-and-sour garlic sauce. It’s unbelievable. And when you go to Yang Chow in Chinatown, there’s quite literally a plate of it on every table. That’s what you do when you go to Yang Chow. You order one plate of slippery shrimp, and one plate of something else TBD. And there’s always a minor tussle over that last piece of shrimp.

There’s really no reliable way to describe slippery shrimp; it’s never exactly the same dish twice. It’s sweet but sometimes very spicy, sometimes only mildly. It’s crunchy, but sometimes much more garlicky than others. Sometimes it’s ridiculously hot, and you have to lay individual pieces of it on your plate, not touching each other, so they cool as quickly as possible and you can shove it into your mouth with such vampiric enthusiasm that you risk biting off the tips of your chopsticks.

Yang Chow has a menu full of winners. The string beans with minced pork is unreal. The moo shoo pork is unmatched. Even the broccoli with mushrooms, whose name is also its entire list of ingredients, is wonderful to behold. But going to Yang Chow and not getting the slippery shrimp would be like going to Disneyland and not riding Space Mountain, or visiting a public restroom and not availing yourself of the handicapped stall: An exercise in pointlessness.

A final note to the curious: There are three Yang Chow restaurants; one in Chinatown, one in Pasadena, and one in Canoga Park. I’ve only been to the one in Chinatown, so your slipperiness may vary if you live in the Valley or the northeast. If you’ve been to one of those, let me know how it is.

The Holy Trinity: Grilled Cheese, Stewed ToMAAAHtoes, Old Fashioned Cocktail

Certainly this is far from my first post about the legendary Musso and Frank Grill, and it’s no secret that by this time I’ve likely eaten my weight in the Thursday night special: Chicken Pot Pie.

But what if you’re hungry, near Musso’s, and it’s just not Thursday?

Allow me to suggest the (hiding in plain sight) Grilled Cheese Sandwich. It’s right there on the menu, in the Sandwiches section, but if you’re not looking for it you might just miss it.

There are a couple of key elements to replicating the pictured result: the first is you need to have SERGIO as your waiter, and the second is you need to know that if Sergio likes you – and for the love of god be nice to him or I will personally have you killed – that you can ever so sweetly ask him to ADD things to the Grilled Cheese.

Things like bacon. And tomato. Or even (if you’re one Very Special Lady) a fried eggiweg.

Think you can’t afford to eat at Musso’s any more? While steaks and those delightful lamb chops (best in LA) may have slipped beyond your grasp, this little beauty is only about nine bucks. Oh yeah. The cat’s out of the bag now.

Remember that meager price tag when your bill comes – tip generously.

6667 Hollywood Blvd

Los Angeles, California 90028

(323) 467-7788
Open Tue-Thu 11am-11pm; Fri-Sat 11am-2am

A cheesesteak from South Philly Experience. Who knew this would be one of LA's best dishes?

You know the situation: You go to your favorite restaurant, planning to try something new. You want to be one of the regulars. One of the people who’s had everything on the menu. One of those cool diners who knows the head chef’s first name and sometimes he comes out to say hi to you, and maybe suggests something that’s really good today and the right wine to go with it.

But then you sit down and open the menu. And your eyes fall right to that same thing you always get. And you think: NO! I promised myself I’d try something new. I promised myself I’d expand my horizons. But really, I’m kind of tired, and I’m in a comfort-food kind of mood, and anyway I don’t want to risk going home unsatisfied, because then I’d just wait until 10 PM and eat a frozen pizza or half a box of cheese crackers. So you order the old standby. And you don’t regret a thing.

This series is for you.

It’s dedicated to those dishes that keep you coming back; those singular meals at your favorite restaurants that make you say things like: Don’t go to Costa Alegre without trying the huevos divorciados. And don’t go to Fred 62 without trying the Bearded Mr. Frenchy. And certainly don’t go to Carousel without gorging yourself stupid on the Merry-Go-Round, an enormous pile of meat that some mad scientist could use to create an unholy cow-chicken-lamb zombie hybrid. It would seem so peaceful, until all those popping flashbulbs frightened it into a rampage. Why, oh, why did we hold the press conference on such a cloudy day! And now my beloved Sophia, dead! Dead! If only there were some way to bring her back…

But I digress. Over the next couple of weeks, you’ll read about some of the finest meals Los Angeles and its environs have to offer, from orange blueberry pancakes to fish tacos to bun thit nong. No, I won’t tell you what bun thit nong is. You’ll just have to wait. Also, I don’t know what it is.

So stay tuned. And let us know what your favorite dish is!

These guys

came to see these girls.  They even sang-shouted along.  How could you not?

Yes.  Those leather-clad, metal-studded, faux-leather-boot-wearing men all descended, some on Harleys, onto Spaceland late last Tuesday night to see, essentially, The Ramones by way of Sanrio: a trio of Japanese women collectively called Shonen Knife, a trio ripped from the pages of manga who sing about going to a sushi bar, and wanting to go there with you, maybe on Friday night.  They also, by the by, sing about furry animals, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Homegrown in Osaka in 1981, Shone Knife found an international audience when they opened for Nirvana during that band’s tour through the UK in late 1991.  Some context: Margaret Thatcher just left the Prime Minister’s office, leaving an enormous recession for incoming PM John Major.  The UK entered the First (or Second, depending on how you count these wars) Gulf War earlier that year, and between a war and a recession – well, this is a story that sounds familiar, doesn’t it?  Anyway, imagine, then, three tiny girls from Osaka facing a crowd of British urban youths who expected to see, and angrily mosh to, American grundge.  Indeed, lead singer Naoko Yamano’s account of first seeing Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl, and Krist Novoselic was something just short of pure fright:

Nirvana gave us an offer to join them on their British tour and, at that time, I didn’t know of them. Our management showed me their photograph and they looked very wild so I was scared.

Punk rock – or, as some prefer, rock the way rock was intended – was defined by artists so against something (the Establishment, the Queen, Simon & Garfunkel, etc) that the only means of releasing that anti- sentiment was through loud and louder music.  Shonen Knife, with happy songs cloaked in a genre defined by anger, turns that conceit on its head: they are so in favor of eating cookies that they can only release that happiness through hard rock.  They have axes to grind too, just happy ones.  And so they convinced Kurt Cobain and the rest of the restless urban British kids that songs about Barbies and jelly beans and chocolate bars were worth just as much as their time and moshing energy as songs about teenage rebellion in passive paralysis.  This is why when you go to a Shonen Knife concert now, you will run not only into indie hipsters who collect Giant Robots the way others collect tattoos, but also adult versions of the guys who went to those early rock concerts.  Yes, it’s still a little creepy, but it’s less so once you realize the history behind all of it.

Shonen Knife has cycled through different band members, and though Naoko Yamano is the lone original member, the Shonen Knife of today sounds remarkably like the Shonen Knife five years ago, which sounded like the Shonen Knife a decade before that, and a decade before that.  Ritsuko Taneda (who joined the band in 2008; she plays a hard, thumping bass that she combines with some good old fashioned head banging) and Emi Morimoto (who joined the band just this year; she is a drummer whose small size wields enormous power) were fans of Shonen Knife before becoming two parts of it.  Instrumentally, Shonen Knife sounds like The Ramones, The Buzzcocks, and Motorhead; vocally, you’ll hear melodies and stories inspired by The Byrds, Chicago, The Beatles, and 1960s oldies.

Most articles I’ve read about Shonen Knife use the word cute every other sentence to describe them.  It’s true – they are downright adorable – but it’s also a terrible disservice to Shonen Knife if you just stop there.  You can’t, for example, just say, “Katharine Hepburn was beautiful” without adding, “and a damn good actress” if you want to do her any justice.  Similarly, Shonen Knife is cute, but they are also damn good musicians.  They’ve had the talent and the sense to be around for nearly 30 years now.  That’s longer than Madonna has been around, and, unlike Shonen Knife, Madonna can speak perfect English, sometimes so perfect that there’s an Oxford accent sprinkled here and there.  I’d bet Shonen Knife can drink us (Madonna included) all under the table and, while we’re passed out and drooling on our bar napkins, Naoko would write a song about us called “Drunk Person.”  So cute!

Naoko mentioned in an interview that she likes the performance aspect of punk rock, which is why Shonen Knife always wears matching outfits during their live sets and have synchronized head banging.  On Tuesday, they arrived on stage, neatly single-file, holding up banners bearing their name.  They then took their guitars and drumsticks and proceed to rock the hell out.

They went deep into their catalog and opened with a few early songs: “Riding on a Rocket” and “Catnip Dreams.” In between songs, there were a lot of Arigato!‘s and smiles. Right before they started playing songs from their new album, Naoko politely stated that they will now play songs from their new album, Free Time, and hopefully we will like them.  Yes, of course.

Part of the reason for their following, I think, is that their love for rock, food, and cute things is genuine and honest, and you can feel that sincerity through their lyrics.  There is nary an ounce of irony, subtext, cynicsm, or overwrought metaphor in their songs. If, say, an American band sang about this animal

A capybara, for those who don't know their South American rodents. Image used under a Creative Commons license.

accompanied by clashing cymbals and frenzied power chords, we’d juxtapose the cutesy lyrics with the loud music and conclude it was a song about being caged and oppressed by The Man.  No, for Shonen Knife, the medium is the message, but so is the message.  When Naoko introduced “Capybara” to the Spaceland crowd, she explained that she saw this South American animal at a zoo in Japan.  So, “Capybara” is literally about a cute animal caged by man (“South American animal/Always biting grass”).  Nothing more, nothing less.

Similarly, their songs about food – of which there are many – are about their genuine love for food.  At Spaceland, Naoko noted the lovely Los Angeles weather and asked the crowd what they like to put on their BBQs.  The leather jackets were surprisingly shy;  the answer should have been, “RAW MEAT” but the skinny jeans part of the audience shouted out “Tofu!”  Someone else yelled out, “Vegetables,” prompting Naoko to say, “Wow, a lot of vegetarians.”  This was the preface to “BBQ Party,” where the primary chorus is “Pig out!  Pig out! Pig out!  Pig out!”  Yeah, have fun pigging out on tofu and veggies, guys.

If every food blogger could write about food the way Shonen Knife sings about food, then the food blogging world would improve by leaps and bounds.  Witness, for example, Naoko’s lyrical review in “Rock ‘n Roll Cake”, off of Free Time:

Fresh strawberries, banana, and melon
Wrapped and rolled in a soft sponge cake
Flour sugar butter
And eggs
Mix and bake

Roll cake
I want to sleep inside it

Roll cake
Great hibernation

It’s a sponge cake.  She wants to sleep inside it.  For a very long time.  What else do you need to know?

Shonen Knife always said that they want people to feel happy listening to their music, and they, more than Disneyland, consistently achieve that happy high.  Their encore was “Sushi Bar Song”, above, and afterward, they immediately went out to meet their veggie-loving audience and sign merch.  They’re more successful now than they were 30 years ago, but they still have that DIY mentality that harks back to Sid Vicious’ safety pinned shirts (true to form, even their matching stage outfits were personally designed and patterned).  A Shonen Knife concert is one of the happiest places on earth, and I have actually seen a girl cry at the end of one of their concerts – because of what, I’m not sure exactly.  Is it that we really don’t give ourselves permission to be honestly, guiltlessly happy anymore?  If so, that is sad, and if so, thank the punk gods for Shonen Knife.

Bonus!  Check out my interview with Shonen Knife here.

This may be one of the few times in history where people say “good riddance!” to the gutting and rebuilding of a Frank Gehry building, and the architect himself agrees.  As Gehry explains in the fascinating documentary “Sketches of Frank Gehry,” the Santa Monica Place shopping mall was one of Gehry’s first commercial projects, and he hated it.  However, Gehry, who needed the gig, delivered what the client wanted.  When Gehry later complained to a colleague about the mall, his friend suggested that Gehry strike out on his own and design the kind of buildings that were true to his own vision.  And that’s exactly what Gehry did.

View to Third Street Promenade and Santa Monica Mountains

I don’t know what Frank Gehry thinks about the newly redesigned Santa Monica Place, but, after two visits there with out-of-town visitors during the past week, I’m thoroughly impressed.   Whereas the old mall was an unattractive appendage at the foot of the Third Street Promenade, the new mall is a natural extension.  Feminine in feel, it invites with rounded shapes and a dizzying yet tasteful array of sleek surfaces, such as wood, glass, and steel, that somehow fit together perfectly.  It draws visitors down a long straight corridor, then opens up into a beautiful curved open atrium.  Let’s face it — the new Place is sexy.

Gazebo-like dining booths are almost too nice for a mall

When I first starting walking around and photographing the new Santa Monica Place, I was struck by the high-quality materials and the variety of eateries on the top level.  These eateries include the prettiest glass-walled food court I have seen, the Sonoma Wine Garden (we ate there twice last week, sitting outside on sofas overlooking their herb garden — delicious), Pizza Antica, Ozumo Japanese cuisine, and more. Then I was drawn to the view of the Ocean and the Ferris wheel at the Pier that can be seen from the west end.  But within minutes, I became captivated by the amount of seating spaces and how well they were being used.

Inside the food court

The Place is now a a fabulous public space.  Its circular design draws people inside and lets them look at and relate to each other.  Interesting, organically shaped seating fosters both interaction and individual contemplation.  One chap told me that he was receiving a clear free WiFi signal, and, indeed, a number of people on laptops were peppered among the three levels.

View from west (2nd Street) side. Top of Pier Ferris wheel visible between the flowers.

Suddenly, everything else feels old.  When my visitors and I went to the similarly open-air Century City shopping mall a couple of days later, I was struck by how outdated and claustrophobic its winding walkways felt in comparison.  Likewise, the straight shot of the Promenade suddenly seems utterly conventional.

I’m not a shopper, but I can report that Santa Monica Place is anchored by Bloomingdale’s and Nordstrom, as well as a huge Nike store.  I was told by reliable authorities (i.e., a couple of women I know who are black belt shoppers) that the selections in these anchor stores are aimed at a younger, hipper crowd than those at some of their other locations.  In addition, posh boutiques such as Michael Kors, Louis Vuitton, and Tiffany and Co. are present.  The stores and their display windows are beautiful.

What do they say in the real estate biz about location? It’s difficult to imagine a better one for Santa Monica Place.  In the new topless version, the sunlight abounds, the sea breeze keeps customers cool, and the area is of course a magnet for both tourists and locals.  Parking also seems to be adequate, both at the Place and at the nearby municipal parking decks on 2nd and 4th streets, at least one of which is just a few steps across Broadway.  There are nearby bus stops, and, if things go as planned, the terminus of the new Expo rail line will be just across Colorado Avenue.  I wonder whether the Place will draw tourist dollars away from the Promenade,  or even from other upscale shopping destinations, such as Beverly Hills.  My guess is that the Place’s eateries will teem with both tourists and local businesspeople, but that, until the economy turns around substantially, most of those upscale stores won’t ring up too many sales.

Criticisms? The only one I can muster is that the middle level, blocked from above, suffers from too little sunlight.  But when you reap so many of Mother Nature’s benefits, you have to take the bad with the good.  Perhaps a few skylights would solve the problem.

Now, I know that, as successful public spaces go, Santa Monica Place is just a shopping mall.  It’s not a park.  It’s not the Piazza Navona.  But check back with with me and Frank Gehry in two or three hundred years, and we’ll see.