How about a pair of Mychael Darwin jeans? According to their website, Mychael Darwin’s customers include “International Kings, World Entertainers, Hall of Fame Athletes, The Champion Los Angeles Lakers, Hollywood A-List Celebrities and Stylish Denim Enthusiasts.” Their “bespoke” jeans are custom cut to fit to your exact measurements. With extras like silk-lined pockets and “the world’s best denim fabrics” it’s no wonder that prices start at $1,200.  For a couple hundred more you can get sterling silver buttons and rivets, and eighteen karat gold or platinum hardware will set you back $3252.50 or $5232.50 respectively to start.

Normal delivery time is two weeks, so you’re looking at more of a new year’s present most likely, but for a fee, you can get a pair as quickly as 48 hours apparently.  And you know, once you’re in for a few grand on a pair of jeans what’s an added convenience charge?

Chris Yarzab's photo used through Creative Commons license

What do you do to promote an album called Valleyheart? You play a free show in the Juniors department of Macy’s at Northridge Mall, that’s what. According to Racked (to whom my metaphorical cliched hat is tipped), She Wants Revenge is playing the Northridge Macy’s this Saturday at 2:00 and Skylar Gray will be opening. To the parents brave enough to take their tweens, I salute you. You are good people. The first 300 people to buy at least $35 of select merchandise will get a free autographed picture. The rest will just get the memories.

Malingering's photo used through Creative Commons license

LA was edged out of the number one seat for GQ‘s coveted “worst-dressed city” title by Boston of all places! I find it hard to believe–nearly impossible, in fact–that preppy old Boston can beat LA’s hootchie skirts, hipster glasses, bad knuckle tattoos, and omnipresent flip-flops [Oxford comma represent!]. GQ says:

Angelenos wage a fierce, daily battle against time and taste so effective it would be admirable if the results weren’t so obnoxious. Ground zero of this war against time is strongest in the thrumming hub of mind-blowing sartorial choices of the few neighborhoods nestled on the axis of Sunset Blvd. You know you’re getting close when you start seeing a profusion of regrettable headwear. . .

Note that Washington, D.C., most sartorially boring place on earth, did not even make the list of 40 cities, throwingthe accuracy of GQ’s snark and the list as a whole into question, in my opinion. Truly, I don’t know how a person could spend a couple hours at HiHo on any given weekend and not automatically grant us the gold. Silver–bah!

Circles and Squares
Art Kills Artists
Dominique Ansari
Siobhan
Mother Plucker
Micha Design
Sonas
Naughty Blonde
Felt Up
PeaceImages Jewelry
Bela Koi
Retro Outlaw
Bipolar Gear

My favorite thing I bought? Well, I love the little gray porcelain rose earrings from Bela Koi and the tee shirt with Julie Andrews giving the finger from Retro Outlaw and the mirrored spiral earrings from PeaceImages, but my very favorite would have to be the yellow tutu from Bipolar Gear. LaRae Wilson, the creative spirit behind the operation is a force to be reckoned with. Have I ever bought an article of yellow clothing in my life? No. Am I glad I did? Yes. Thank you, LaRae for being persuasive. You can catch Bipolar Gear at LA Fashion Week’s Fashion Minga in October. I’ll be there if I’m in town.

I saw This Person shopping at a Santa Monica Ralph’s last week, fully without irony.

She and her friends were not looking to see if anyone would notice the robe, nor were they in any sort of Dude-like good humor.

I would have been willing to Consider giving her a pass if she at least bought milk and/or Kahlua, but all they bought was a few bags of Doritos.

They wandered the store, jabbering in a language I failed to identify (and I’m pretty good at that), and exuding general bitchiness.

Ugh.

No thank you.

(No, I don’t show her face. And neither should she.)

UniqueLA

Fretting over finding that last minute, yet oh so perfect gift for your mother?  Or perhaps you’re tired of going to the standard Mom-osa filled brunch & want to try something new…  Well you’re in luck, this weekend the wonderful Sonja Rasula is putting in another installment of the coolest independent design & shopping show in the country, Unique LA.

With over 300 designers & artists showcasing their wares over the course of two-days of fun filled shopping this is truly an event not to be missed.  I know I always come home with armfuls of amazing finds, from jewelry, to purses, to ironic t-shirts for my boyfriend & one-of-a-kind “omg where did you FIND that” outfits for me.  It’s also a great way to meet a ton of local designers, many of whom are right here in Los Angeles!  Plus there are a ton of workshops & food vendors peddling all sorts of yummy treats camped out at the event.  You can even check out a preview of some of the awesome clothes in their new catalog!

Your $10 admission includes…

• Free drinks & a hosted bar (IZZE, Honest Tea, Bear Flag wine, Hendrick’s cocktails, and Numi Tea)
• Unlimited re-entry for both days
• Your very own collectible tote bag, exclusive to each show!
• Free DIY workshops and handmade Mother’s Day cards all weekend
• Plush lounge seating area hosted by H.D. Buttercup
• Access to giveaways and door prizes all weekend long
• Souvenir copy of the Vendor Directory + Mini Magazine

Unique LA
May 7th & 8th (11am – 6pm)

California Market Center’s Penthouse
110 E 9th St # A727
Los Angeles, CA 90079-1727
http://uniquela.com/

Buy tickets HERE.

To hell with all you ladies who can buy bras on street corners or online or at the mall even – this post is for the breastally endowed.

From those of us sporting mighty racks, a resounding cry: All Hail the fearsome Jenette for opening a lingerie emporium just for us. An amazing establishment where, as Jenette is fond of saying, “The alphabet starts at D.”

And the merchandise is downright saucy ~ no battleships, and I’m not sure I’ve seen anything white (except a few hot bridal-type numbers).

In the past, Jenette’s hours have been a bit limited, but I’m happy to announce that she’s added Tuesday (11-6) to her work week – great news!

Jenette Bras

4308 Melrose Ave., near Vermont

(Ironic: It’s just around the corner from Scoops!)

323-665-7490

All Kinds of Crazy on Sale

Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

While it doesn’t answer the question the question why he’s wearing it, now we know where Donnie Darko may have got his stupid man suit.

Korea Town, Western and 3rd.

I’m not sure it’s very convincing, though.

(Pic taken w/my phone.)

Note for future Love pumping: I mentioned to my paramour that I was going to tour some lingerie shops.  For the first time ever, he volunteered to go along with me while I shopped! Hmm. I declined, a good tease is half the fun of romance!

My first stop was Coco La Mer on Beverly Boulevard in West Hollywood.  This place has a lot of intrigue.  Set back from the street, you enter after wandering down a short path.  The setting is very Marquis de Sade.  Very high end, very French Chateau Mistress action. It looked good, but the mix of low lighting and plush furniture made me want to sit down and eat a chocolate.
Nevertheless, I was on a mission, so I picked some corsets, had them turn up the dressing room lights and went to work. Wow.  Very expensive.  (Why is it that silky sexy pieces of fabric strategically placed cost more than a whole outfit?) No matter.  It’s the end result that matters.

At Coco La Mer, there are lots of classy looking leather pieces that hoist, tighten and in general mold the female body into fetish art.  There are also lots of very art like dildos, vibrators and bondage items.  Not your everyday plastic stuff, we’re talking hand blown glass objects, gold vibrators, leather mixed with feathers and steel.  Very super high end fantasy stuff.  This is life-style we’re talkin’ here, not a ‘role-play for the night get-up’.  So as they say, ‘why not invest in something that will last forever?’

Alas, I didn’t find anything.  But it did work some magic.  As I was walking out, aforementioned love puppy sent a picture of him posing in his shorts.  This was new territory!

On to my next stop, at “Agent Provocateur” on Melrose, I got lucky. First the saleswoman had me try on some sizzle worthy red pumps, telling me that everything looked better in heels. She was right. I had a really hard time choosing between the corsets and stockings and a short number with fringe and amazing push up action. Damn it American Express! I bought both. And the red heels. (Did I mention lingerie is ridiculously expensive?)
Now…. how to choose just one outfit for Valentines Day?

And by the way, as a result of this research, my boyfriend can’t wait for Monday!
I highly recommend going lingerie shopping to make V-Day memorable, if only to come home with the pink box! Anticipation is everything!

Also celebrating a final night tonight: The Robotanists close out their residency at Casey’s, the historic Irish tavern in downtown. Don’t miss their atmospheric, dramatic compositions and vocalist Sarah Ellquist’s lush vocals.

Continuing the theme of going out with a bang (or in this case, lots of bangs & thuds & whams) is the final Derby Dolls bout of the year…tonight’s their season championship, with my personal faves the Tough Cookies going up against The Swarm.

And I also have to recommend hitting Divine Design in Beverly Hills, the annual charity shopping event; 100% of funds raised to to Project Angel Food, and everything–from Oscar De La Renta dresses to cosmetics & jewelry and shoes, is 60% off today; 70% off on Sunday; and 80-90% off on Monday.