I’m not one of those Angelinos who will claim that our literary culture rivals that of New York (sorry people, it just doesn’t–we can still love LA and concede secondary status on pizza and publishers). Nonetheless, we do have a pretty vibrant community of writers and readers. I’ve written about Chaparral and What Books Press here before, and I’m always happy to see news of a new journal or press.

On that note, The Rattling Wall is set to launch this month, and the inaugural issue looks delightful with offerings from Albert Reyes, Tony Hoagland, James Frey, and Neal Pollack, among others. They’re having a release party at the Hammer a week from tomorrow. If Hoagland were reading, I’d be there in a heartbeat, but alas he is not. Nonetheless,the slate is full of talent: Joseph Mattson, Michelle Meyering, James Greer, Neal Pollack, Allison Burnett, Stacey Waite, Eloise Klein Healy, Sam Dunn, Matthew Zapruder, Lou Mathews. It should be a great reading.

Walking back to the car from the Silent Movie Theater/Cinefamily Friday night after a midnight showing of RAMMBOCK (a strangely pacifistic German zombie movie that’s almost a chick flick except for the brain-eating), we passed this sort of amazing example of tagging. I don’t know whose van this is–it was parked on Fairfax right around Melrose–but it’s such a sad sight I couldn’t even muster up any schadenfreude. I want to believe this is the product of a bad break-up or a debt unpaid or even a psycho roommate. To have this just happen randomly while you’re out to dinner somehow seems even worse. So I’m sending a shout out to you, Loser-Mobile Dude; whoever you are, I feel for you.

When you ask people what’s great about LA, they might say the weather or the beach or the sushi or art walk or the New Bev or Umami Burger… but they almost never say “the literary scene.”   Yknowhatimsayin?

Still, we read. Well, some of us do, anyway, and many of those some of us will be at LA Times’ Festival of Books this weekend. I’ll admit I’ve never been there myself (though other b.la’ers have). Somehow it always gets trumped by a work event or a trip or something. This year, though, may be the year for me. I would love, love, love to see Jennifer Egan on Saturday*, though given her recent award, that panel will no doubt be packed plus I have a time conflict with a three-year-old’s birthday party in Ventura (Does the J.Egan panel promise a bouncy house? I think not!). Read the rest of this entry →

That’s right–it’s almost time to drink wine and watch movies in the graveyard.

Cinespia’s tenth season at Hollywood Forever Cemetery starts May 14th. Yes, that’s several weeks from now, but they want to know right away what you’d like to see. So now’s your chance to put in a request. Head on over to their Facebook page and chime in or fill in the webform on their site. Right now, Goonies and Heathers seem to front runners just based on my quick scan of their page. My personal dream season includes Rebel Without A Cause, Repo Man, and Double Indemnity to name a few. (I would have said Night of the Living Dead, but that screened last year.)

If you want to keep posted on what’s coming up, join their mailing list. If you’ve somehow never been to a screening, it’s pretty fun, though Cinespia is one of many LA treats that’s become a victim of its own success. It’s really crowded and parking is a hellish ordeal. Do like I do and cultivate your relationship with friends in the area so you can park in their driveway–or bike.

And what about you guys? What would you like to see at Hollywood Forever this summer?

So Coachella… If the lost and found sections of their website are any indication, you all had a great time. Pictures upon pictures of lost keys and phones, like rows of tombstones in the sobriety graveyard. Best music festival no one can remember ever.

I worry about you people. I hope you got home okay.

So if you can’t find your keys, phone, camera, or bag, you should log onto the Coachella site and see if they’ve got it. There are instructions onsite for how to retrieve your belongings. Your dignity, on the other hand… you’re on your own there.

Spotted this ad on Craigslist today:

Couch saves baby from house fire! – $400 (Beverly Hills)

Yes, you read that right. The couch that I’m selling for only $400 once actually rushed into a blazing house fire (not my own, I believe in fire safety, folks) & SAVED A BABY. What’s amazing though is that even after saving that stupid baby who started the fire anyway, this couch is in perfect condition. This espresso brown brushed canvas Pottery Barn couch that retails for $1500 is for sale for $400 because I got an EVEN BETTER COUCH (my new couch can unclog the sink & sing operatic versions of Motorhead which is more useful on a day to day basis).

*No need to ask about its availability, you’re reading this post IT’S AVAILABLE! Just ask when to come see & buy :)
** CASHIERS CHECK SCAMMERS NEED NOT INQUIRE – you’re wasting my time & yours. I don’t take cashiers checks from people “out of town on business”.

Those Beverly Hills couches–they’re so fancy.

The other day leaving work, I eased out of the driveway to make a right turn and head home, but I was so busy looking left for a break in street traffic I didn’t see the bicyclist on the sidewalk coming from the right. He subsequently yelled in my car window about watching where I was going and I yelled back about getting the hell off the sidewalk. Because that’s how I roll, yo.

I think sidewalk bicyclists are both annoying and dangerous, and lately I’ve noticed a marked increase in their numbers. I don’t know if it’s the high price of gas forcing more and more people to self-locomote, or if there’s some sort of bike-on-the-sidewalk-to-work campaign I haven’t heard about, or if it’s just part of the secret plot to make my commute more ever-more obnoxious. Regardless, I had a whole bloggy rant planned today about scofflaw cyclists and how you shouldn’t expect motorists to be looking out for you if you’re not obeying the traffic laws.

And then…I actually researched the traffic laws.

Who knew? Apparently you are, in fact, legally allowed to bike on the sidewalk in L.A. So go on with your bad self, bicyclist. Ride that vehicle on the sidewalk. Hell, take your whole family with you. Annoy everyone and endanger yourself. Because L.A. law allows it. We can’t legislate good manners or common sense.

(Daquella manera’s photo used through creative commons license.)

Seriously, if you don’t have plans tonight already, this is an epic evening for LA, cinematically speaking. One of the best things about our city is that you can pretty much catch anything on the big screen, and today is testimony to that. 

First, it’s the kick off night for the Egyptian’s 13th annual Noir City festival. As in the past, most of the stuff in the series isn’t available on DVD. There are 13 double features running tonight through 20 April. Tonight’s double bill, new prints of High Wall and Strangers in the Night, focuses on WWII vets who return home to a world plenty sinister and dangerous in its own right. It’s a lot easier to figure out who the enemy is when he’s wearing a scary uniform, you know?  Read the rest of this entry →

It’s the eve of Valentine’s Day and some of you may be out shopping even as I type. Many others I know, will rush out during lunch break tomorrow to pick up that perfect little something for your lover. Our series should provide you with a number of possible ideas from sommelier costumes and corsets to lightsaber whips and beginner butt plugs shaped like pacifiers. If sex shops aren’t your thing, you can always order something online (though you better be spectacular to compensate for the inevitable lateness of the gift). And when you’re all done with your new toy, you can recycle it because green is sexy.

We’ve got Valentine’s Day licked because pink boxes and haiku aren’t just for doughnuts anymore.

Let me start with the disclaimer that I’m personally sort of sexual Luddite. Once I went to a sex toy (aka f***erware) party and the hostess began by explaining that there are 6000 nerve endings in the clitoris and it just made me wonder why we think we can improve upon that fine creation. So know that I approach the whole issue of sex shops as far more of a novice than a professional (or should I say “expert”).

That said, I think one of the best things about Touch of Romance is that anyone can find something sexy/fun there and pretty much anyone can feel comfortable shopping there (well, anyone who would be reading this post anyway). The atmosphere is enough like hot-topic-for-the-orgasmic-set to put the shyer shoppers at ease, and at the same time, there’s still a reasonable selection of ball gags for the rest of you. 

We asked what the most popular Valentine’s Day gift was and our helpful hostess/shop girl told us that the We-Vibe, supercalifragalistic vibrator that it is, was this year’s top seller. We-Vibe markets itself as the couples’ vibrator so it’s kind of a perfect Valentine’s Day present, plus since it reaches the clitoris and the g-spot, it pretty much ensures that no matter how rotten a lover you are, your lady will have a good time in the sack. This, to me, seems like a wise investment.

For those on more of a budget, Touch of Romance also has a fine selection of videos, toys, massage oil, and cute lingerie, including the modern day pasty, “nippies patch of freedom,” in a variety of shapes and colors. As you would expect, there is a Baskin Robbins-ish assortment of lube, including, I noticed, something labeled “rim job flavored” lube, “a tasty anal treat,” perhaps unsurprisingly featured on the clearance table.

A few other things worth mentioning because they amused me–the “bounce back Bob” inflatable penis punching bag, the DIY make your own sex toys book, and the “lube injector.” Who knew? I mean, good idea, but as my road dog noted, “Some people are thinking every minute.”

So happy shopping. Have fun and be safe kids.

The details:
Touch of Romance
19212 Ventura Blvd
Tarzana, CA 91356
818-774-9030
Mon – Thu: 11am – 10pm
Fri – Sat: 11am – 11pm
Sunday: 12pm – 7pm

You could call this the “cut to the chase” gift giving guide for Valentine’s Day. Here at blogging.la we don’t really beat around the bush much–unless you like that sort of thing, in which case, this is probably just the series for you–so when we got together and thought about what kind of Valentine’s Day series to run, we realized there are probably a thousand foodies blogging about where to go to go to dinner and who has the best artisanal chocolates. We could tell you our favorite flower markets or the most romantic day trips or the best views in L.A., but ultimately what’s all that about anyway? You know what we’re talking about. You’re not taking someone to an amazing, and expensive, dinner on Valentine’s Day to express your deep respectful platonic love for him/her, are you? In romance as in sales, always be closing, lovers.

This is a Valentine’s Day series for the closers. We’ll take you inside a couple of sex shops. You can browse along with us as we marvel at the variety of dildos and lube. Whether your favorite flavor is vanilla or something spicier, we should find something you’ll delicious for you, something that will communicate to your partner how you *really* feel. Because you’ll still be enjoying that pocket rocket long after the chocolates are eaten and the flowers are wilted.

Join us as we sing the body electric this week, readers.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

Other posts in this series:

We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Forplay
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: The Pleasure Chest
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Touch of Romance
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Recycling Your Very Used Sex Toy
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Vendor Fair at the Bordello of Decadence
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: The Pleasure Chest, take two
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Sex Shops and The Nordstrom Effect
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: The Power of the Little Pink Box

Tonight kicks off the Cinespia’s “Vive L’amour” series, co-sponsored by the Film and TV Office of the French Embassy in Los Angeles, and presented at the Cinefamily (Silent Movie Theater). In tonight’s cinematic bon-bon, Catherine Deneuve stars in Les Parapluies de Cherbourg, the musical story of a sweet, young shop girl and her starcrossed love for a mechanic.

After the movie, a curated selection of vintage scopitones will be screened, and the Frenchie food truck will be on hand serving up appropriate fare, throughout the night . Later in the series Cinespia will screen Beauty and the Beast, Jules and Jim, and Amelie among others. (Some films screen on Saturdays.)

As if that’s not enough, tonight at the Egyptian is a double feature of Goddard’s Contempt and Truffaut’s Shoot the Piano Player. Formidable!

Finally, on a non-French note, while I’m posting about fantastique cinema, I feel the need to give a shout out to the Aero for their Valentine’s Day weekend schedule: Gone With the Wind Saturday the 12th, Casablanca and Double Indemnity the 13th, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s on Valentine’s Day itself. That is one inspired line-up, Aero.

Thank you, L.A., for being so cinematically awesome. J’taime.

This is nothing short of a major public service announcement for my fellow coffee-loving Angelinos: Balconi Coffee Company has reopened on Olympic in Sawtelle (at the northwest corner of Olympic and Sawtelle). Some of you will remember Ray’s old shop on Rochester at Santa Monica. I’ve been anxiously awaiting word about his reopening since Balcony closed, and happy day, I got an email last week that Balconi (with an “i” not a “y” this time) is back. Hurrah! I haven’t yet been to the new shop, but I can tell you that Ray loves his beans. If the new cafe is anything like the old one, it will have a coffee menu that reads like a wine menu, and you’ll be able to order siphon coffee, lovingly made cup by cup, and enjoy that coffee while taking advantage of Balconi’s free wifi. Ray says he’s focusing on coffee right now, but will add other menu items as things settle down.

Update: Ray says the new Balconi is “a place to disconnect.” No wifi people. Just coffee. Very good coffee.

Details:
Balconi
11301 W. Olympic Blvd #124
Los Angeles, CA, 90064
10a-10p, 7 days

Well, this one didn’t actually catch my eye; it showed up in my twitter stream and I had to post it, because you know I’m a big booster of the 818, and I want to give big ups to the Van Nuys Courthouse for their efficiency. Who knew they had such a circle of life thing going on there? Thank you, Christian Meoli for sharing with us. Hakuna Matata everybody.