I had a dream last night that the Red Sox and the Angels were both eliminated in the first round of the MLB playoffs. Okay, I’m lying. I had a dream that the Red Sox lost three straight to the White Sox and that the Angels went on to beat the Yankees in this first round and then eventually on to win the World Series.

I have no problem with the Angels, in theory. I think they are a talented team. They play in a great stadium (although the rally monkey thing should really go away), plus, they have good coaching and nice fans. And that’s the problem. You guys are too nice. “Fan” is short for “Fanatic.” You Angels fans are just kind of happy about your team. You’re not fanatics.

Red Sox fans own you. Don’t believe me? Here’s proof from the most recent Angels/Red Sox series in Anaheim. Keep that in mind when you’re watching this: THIS IS IN ANAHEIM. It’s the last out before the Red Sox win the game. Schilling is on the mound.

A visiting team’s fans louder than the home team’s fans? That’s some crap you’d never hear at Fenway. I’m just saying.

Thanks to all 13 of you who commented on this entry about the upcoming Nike Run Hit Wonder 5/10K race. In an entirely unscientific way, I wrote all of your names on identical slips of paper, shuffled them in my jacket pocket and drew out our two winners:

Rickety and David.

Congratulations! (If you don’t want the prize, let me know and I’ll draw an alternate.)

If you really wanted to win, but didn’t get pulled out of my pocket, FEAR NOT! Registration is still open at Active.com or on the day of the race.

Thanks to all for your funny One Hit Wonder follow-up songs and again, congratulations to the winners!

For those who wait for the really big lotteries to buy your lucky tickets, the MegaMillions jackpot is up to $250,000,000 dollars. That’s 250 MILLION. Sure, if you take the lump sum and pay all the taxes on it, it only comes out to about 75 million, but that’s still a pretty giant wad of cash.

I predict the following numbers will win:

1, 19, 33, 43, 54 MEGA BALL 11

How do I know? Let’s just say…

[imagine spooky music and a ghostly voice]

I’M FROM THE FUUUTUUURE*.

*May or may not be true.

Longtime Blogging.la commenter and local filmmaker David Markland (aka Unsomnambulist) has been working with Nike on their upcoming Run Hit Wonder 5/10k set to take place on September 24th here in Los Angeles.

I ran the inaugural 10k two years ago and it’s actually a really fun race. Throughout the course, bands like Aquabat, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts and Fountains of Wayne will be playing live. The best part about the race though (to me at least) is that each runner gets an individually numbered Nike Dri-Fit race shirt, easily worth the price of entry. Why deal with an annoying number pinned onto your soggy white cotton tee-shirt?

Registration is still open for this year’s race, but David has offered up two free entries to blogging.la readers, which includes the entry fee (obviously) and two shirts: the training shirt and the actual race day shirt. We figured a drawing of some sort would be the best way to give these away, so here’s the deal…

If you’re interested, post a comment with fictitious follow-ups to famous one hit wonder songs. Make them original.

Here’s an example:

Tommy Tutone: 867-5310

Get it? (Maybe try to make yours better than mine.)

You have until Monday, Sept. 19th at noon.

Everyone who comments will be eligible and on Monday, we’ll draw two names.

*Starting Gun*

Go!

Either everyone at Star 98.7 is taking a long weekend and their pre-programmed feed is messed up, or the station got hacked by pirates. There have been no DJ’s all weekend as far as I can tell, and it’s been crazy for the past three days with skipping songs, dead air, weird cellphone conversations cutting in and other atypical and erratic programming. Anyone know what’s up?

(Oh, and let’s just assume that I know how much the top 40 format sucks. It’s a guilty pleasure sometimes; like eating french fries for lunch or buying matchbox cars at Ralph’s even though I’m 34.)

*Update: It’s some kind of stunt. The website is weird too. Wil, you may be right.

Suicide Girls is having two events promoting the release of SuicideGirls Live: The First Tour DVD. It documents their 9,000 mile tour around the country, where they performed 60 sold-out burlesque shows in 45 cities. Boasting one of the only sites on the entire interweb that actually provides content worthy of a membership fee, SG continues to boost their brand in unconventional, but entirely kickass ways.

More details after the jump…

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Looks like a wildfire in the Hollywood Hills north of Sunset. Anyone near there or know the details? I shot some video but I can’t upload it from where I’m at.

I was spending the afternoon at the Starbucks on Beverly and La Brea, which happens to be around the corner from 200 S. LaBrea, a popular commercial casting facility. My audition for Purina was scheduled for 2:45, so at 12:15, I decided to kill a couple of hours surfing the web at the overpriced T-Mobile hotspot in the popular coffee chain. Iíve become something of an expert on the comfort level at the Hollywood area Starbucks and although the location of the one I chose today was convenient, there arenít very many good, comfortable seats in the store. I ordered some iced coffee and a couple of chocolate brownie bites and went over to the cream and sugar station. After some fumbling, I managed to pour cream and sugar into my cold coffee.
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As part of my continuing quest to crack the code of the hidden messages cloaked in handmade signs around the city, I grabbed this hasty camera phone shot of a sign claiming to need an “apprentice.” I’m not exactly sure why the word “apprentice” is in quotes, as the word itself does not need that type of special treatment. UNLESS the real estate investor is looking for something more than a simple apprentice. Maybe s/he is looking for an “apprentice.” We all know what those foreboding quotes mean: Lots of coffee runs, dry cleaning pickup, possible impromptu desk sex, and becoming the scapegoat for anything that goes wrong.

“I really wanted to get that check over to you as a sign of good faith on that mini-mall, but my damn “apprentice” dropped the ball. I promise to “punish” her (on my desk, after we split the bottle of congratulatory merlot I’ve been saving from that beachfront deal).”

Of course, the other option is that the sign is a signal for those in the know. “Apprentice” in quotes means something significant to a few people out there and truthfully, only they would be savvy enough to call a secret number publicly displayed on a handmade yellow sign. Nobody can possibly be foolish enough to think that an actual real estate investor worth his/her salt would be advertising in basically the same way that people advertise yard sales, can they? I think not. Sommething deeper is afoot. Don’t you think?

Fine, maybe I’m making more of this than it is. Maybe some real estate investor just needs an apprentice. Unlikely, I say. The quotes are “sketchy.”

Part of the fun of HBO’s Six Feet Under is trying to spot familiar Los Angeles area locations within each episode. Tonight’s episode (which, holy freakin’ crap, btw!), had a scene at a local Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf that I tried desperately to identify. No luck. I have spotted some familiar turf in past seasons however, and remember finding myself oddly thrilled to discover a strip mall near my old apartment flash by in the background of a car scene way back in Season One. You’d think I’d have stopped caring about such silly stuff after living in Los Angeles for ten years and working in TV and Film and all, but I guess I still get a little charge out of seeing places I recognize (or live near) on TV and in the movies.

Also, I hesitate to say too much about tonight’s episode. At one point about halfway through, I told my wife, “This show is actually kind of starting to bug me.”

Then, in the second half of the show (more near the end, I guess), I changed my mind.

Whoa.

Ten seconds after you first move to Los Angeles, you will no doubt hear someone complain about the DMV. It’s a horrible, horrible experience. Replete with miserable employees, weathered and embittered by thousands of shockingly idiotic people per day, smiles and courtesy will get you only the most basic of social interaction when you are forced to make a trip to one of Southern California’s many branches. Making an appointment online will reduce your wait time, but it’s no guarantee that your business will be smooth and efficient. I only visit the DMV as a last resort when there is no other way to settle the particular vehicle related business I need to do; when all other options are exhausted and futile and all other hope is dead. It is always a hellacious experience.
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I hesitate to post this because I am mostly selfish about sharing information regarding in-store appearances, but of course I can’t be selfish. I want to promote a musician I happen to really respect and enjoy. So against my better judgment (if you crowd me out of a good sight line I will hex you with a Furnunculous Curse), I’ll let you in on a little secret. Steven Page of Barenaked Ladies (check out their blog), will be performing a very intimate in-store appearance in support of his recently released solo album, The Vanity Project. Teaming up with Stephen Duffy (of Lilac Time) for this release, Page will be performing at Tower Records in The Sherman Oaks Galleria this coming Monday, July 25th at 6pm.

More info here.

I have a special bond with BNL (at least, in my mind). A little known fact about me:

I was the Toastmaster for the 2001 Great Guinness Toast, which was performed onstage live via Pay Per View at the, you guessed it, Barenaked Ladies show at Roseland in NYC. They are an amazing group of guys and Steve Page is a rare talent. If all you know is their hit “One Week,” you are really missing out.

Treat yourself to an awesome, FREE in-store appearance which is guaranteed to make you a fan.

See you there!

One of the bad things about procrastination is that it can sometimes turn aspects of my life into vicious downward spirals of despair and hopelessness.

I refer in this case to the care of my car. I drive a Honda Element, which I bought (and am still paying for) instead of leasing because I knew that it was a car that I would want to drive for a long time. In fact, my goal is to put a few hundred thousand miles on it. It’s a great car that I’m still very happy with. Anyway, Honda plug aside, I have been neglecting my car for the past several months. More than several. Fine, for almost 9,000 miles.
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I love the notion that there is a “world inside the world,” as Don Delillo (and then Rhett Miller) put it, in Los Angeles. That theory, coupled with the fact that I am currently reading Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere, has me on the lookout for signs of an underworld or secret network of communication in our city; a network not unlike the “Trystero” in Pynchon’s The Crying of Lot 49. However, instead of the single image of a muted horn, this network is marked by much more common signposts.
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I was talking to Jason Paige a couple of weeks ago and he was trying to describe to me the show he’s about to perform in at The Ford Amphitheatre.

“Well, it’s kind of a mix between Cirque du Soleil and the LA Philharmonic and an insane Rock Opera,” he told me.

“Well, that sounds pretty cool,” I told him. He could tell I wasn’t 100% sold and he laughed. “Here’s the flyer,” he said as he pulled this out of his pocket and handed it to me. “I’ll send you the link to the site that has all of the information, including videos,reviews, and pictures.

“OK,” I told him, “I’ll check it out.”

I checked it out. The more I read about this show, the more interesting it sounds.

Jason Paige can sing. The guy has a vocal range that I would kill for. He’s in a band called “The New Black” and he has shared the stage with some pretty impressive talent. Backed by a stunning group of musicians, both Jason and Becky Baeling (who I’m told has a pretty huge contingent of Diva-loving fans), sing their way through a theatrical Rock Opera filled with insanity, circus acts, costume changes and a symphony of music.

It’s a one night only event at The Ford Amphitheatre on July 22nd. The whole thing was conceived by Ross Wright (AKA Elvis Schoenberg).

Who says there’s no good theatre in LA?

Here is a much better description than everything you just read and clicked.