I caught a little bit of our Governor Schwarzeneggar on NPR this morning, talking about climate change and his goal of making California a world leader in rolling back carbon emissions. It got me wondering about a few things. Warning: rambling ahead.

People hate this guy. At least many of the liberal/lefties that I run with. But it’s mostly based on a dumb joke – the inarticulate Terminator is our leader. Quelle horreur! Never mind that 1) Republicans and conservatives are not going to vanish anytime soon. Liberals need to accept that and figure out a way to live with it and; 2) If you stacked up all the major Republicans by how close or far they are from liberal policies, Schwarzeneggar is practically a Democrat.

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Downtown is a forest of neighborhoods and districts. A five-minute walk around my apartment brings me through the Historic Core, the Jewelry District, the Financial District, Bunker Hill, the Arts District, the Old Bank District, Gallery Row, Scullery Row, Little Ulaanbaator and the Accountancy District. What’s a perplexed navigator to do?

We here at the Jay Bushman Institute for Personal Cartography are here to help. We’ve created a whole new neighborhood, and we call it Librarytown.

Librarytown is still a work in progress. As of now it mostly overlaps with the Financial District, but let’s be honest – calling a place the Financial District is pretty boring unless you’re an investment banker. It’s centered, surprisingly, around the axis of the Library Tower (sorry U.S. Bank), the Central Library and Library Bar. It goes as far northeast as 4th and Main, encompassing Lost Souls Cafe. The Southeastern corner is somewhere past Seven Grand. It stretches South far enough to claim the new Ralphs. It’s Western edge is murky at the moment, but may go all the way to the 110. Librarytown’s borders are someone flexible at the moment – one of the benefits of personal cartography.

Now, who do I see about getting some of those neighborhood signs put up?

(Photo from Wikipedia)

The Smoking Gun shares the rider for Mandy Moore’s backstage demands. No sign of sandwich catastrophes here – just some low key comforts. Dig the requirement for “Good Coffee.” What do you think she considers to be good coffee? Does Mandy know the blissful joy that is King’s Road Coffee? If not, I’m sure Sean will volunteer to introduce her to it. But once exposed, she might become more demanding backstage.

A few months back, Blogdowntown linked to a list of the Top Ten Bloggiest Neighborhoods, which had Downtown L.A. as #3 in the country.

Being #3 didn’t sit well with me. So last week, I moved downtown and increased the blogging density.

#2 Shaw better watch out, ’cause we’re coming for them.

(Photo from Wikipedia)

Our fave L.A. nightlife anthropologist, Caroline on Crack, is throwing herself a birthday party Saturday night at our fave bar in town, the slim volume of terrifying power known as Seven Grand. I’m going to swing by, if I can tear myself away from packing for my imminent move. I’m gonna move downtown, mainly so I can be closer to Seven Grand. Is that wrong?

If you go, I recommend the CompassBox Peat Monster. Yummy.

(photo from Caro)

According to Cinematical, when director Mike Figgis recently arrived at LAX and was asked the ritual question, “What is the purpose of your visit,” he replied, “I’m here to shoot a pilot.”

Upon which he was detained for five hours.

*Sigh*

A few days ago, I was making one of my pilgrimages to Starbucks – this time to the Los Feliz Blvd. shop where I’ve spotted Dr. Marvin Candle a couple of times. Since this weekend was the Subway Series, I was flaunting my Mets colors. In front of the shop, this guy approached me:

GUY (pointing to my Mets shirt): Hey! I bet you’re a Dodgers fan.

ME: Um, no.

GUY: I’ve got a bunch of Dodger tickets for sale. Good games. Cubs are coming to town. (He opens his fist to reveal a stack of at least 25 Dodgers tickets)

ME: Um, no, Got any Mets tickets?

Guy silently walks away.

First of all: What?? I had no idea Starbucks was now a hotspot for scalpers.

Secondly: I made an inquiry as to a product/service I would be interested in buying. In response, he walked away silently. Not the most effective of sales strategies.

Where’s the oddest place you’ve been offered tickets for sale?

Variety has the details on Mark Cuban’s nefarious plan to turn the Landmark Westside Pavilion Theatre into a super-awesome high-class alterna-cinema of the future. Which apparently means couches, beanbag chairs, and serving yourself from the brilliantly-named Wall Of Popcorn. It’s about time somebody took a blowtorch to the ridiculously outmoded movie theater business model.

I’d scoop my own popcorn from the Wall of Popcorn any day. Hopefully the tickets won’t be too much higher than Arclight’s. And will include the price of parking *cough*.

Yes, you look really cool on your shiny neon motorbikes. Just like those kids in Biker Boyz. I’m impressed with how studly you all are. I bet all the tranny hookers in East Hollywood are too. Now, could you stop turning around and around every three blocks so I can go home?

Love,

The Slow and the Furious

Just in time for the start of this year’s baseball season (also known as the Only Other Season Besides Winter), Gridskipper brings us a list of L.A. Baseball Bars. In addition to the hometown clubs, you’ve got a place to go if you line up with the Yankees, Bosox, Cubs or Phillies. If you’re a partisan for another team, they suggest a couple of places that claim to show every game, like El Guapo’s on Melrose and Leo’s in Montrose.

If nobody knows about a Mets bar in our town, I might just have to start one. It’ll be called Great Buckner’s Balls and the drinks will be amazin’.

Innovative marketing? The cast of the new Fox show Drive will be at a gas station in Century City tomorrow, pumping FREE GAS for the punters.

I think free gas would bring out the crowds, even if it was the cast of Shasta McNasty doing the pumping.

Breaking news that Los Angeles’s legendary underground lizard people have signed a tentative deal with the city of Oakland to move to a brand-new underground city to be built for them underneath the East Bay. The state-of-the-art facility will be three times the size of the current lair, and include escalators for easy access to the surface, free fiber-optic and wi-max internet connectivity, and an unspecified number of luxury boxes.

No word on rumors that Al Davis helped broker the agreement.

…and boy is it YUMMY!

Mao’s Kitchen has opened up a Melrose outpost. Haven’t been yet – can anybody confirm that they’ve brought their awesomeness with them?

As Mao once said himself, “Give me a bowl of braised pork, and I will win!”

As the wag once said, you can’t swing a dead cat in this town without hitting an aspiring writer. And even more numerous are the people who will give that aspiring writer “advice.” Pick and choose who you listen to carefully. And you can’t do much better that the insight you can glean from The Rouge Wave, a site written by a screenwriter and studio reader. Part how-to-please-the-reader guide, part fount-of-inspiration, part kick-in-the-ass, the Wave-inatrix is an insightful guide to this business we call show. To wit, today’s entry on the 3 P’s.

When moving anywhere near Hollywood, you invariably must take a trip to Pink’s to gawp at the line and hear stories about all the celebrities who’ve eaten there. It’s practically a by-law. If you stand in the line, you can hear these conversations over and over again. And by far, the most repeated anecdote is that Orson Welles once ate 18 hot dogs in one sitting. Sometimes the number is 14, or 17. Sometimes it’s chili dogs, or even double-chili dogs. The details shift with each telling, but the formula remains the same. For a sampling, google Orson Welles + Pink’s and you’ll see what I mean. It’s even in IMDB, for Kane’s sake. For a story that so well-known, you would think that there’d be a shred of documentation to back it up.

You would of course be wrong.

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