What’s Really Going on with the 405 Closure?

June 27, 2011 at 11:08 am in LA, News, Transportation

countdown to closure

Taking down a bridge... yeah, sure.

So the impending “Carmaggedon” is quite the buzz topic these days, with a 53-hour road closure basically threatening our very way of life here in LA. Haha just kidding—we’ll still be able to drive around aimlessly in other parts of the city, we’ll just have to avoid that ten-mile stretch of the 405 for a couple days.

One of the bigger headache will be for those out-of-towners who don’t know to avoid the 405 if they’re arriving at LAX that weekend. Or for people trying to have a wedding that weekend.

Wait a minute, though. Ten miles of freeway? For a bridge demolition? Seems like a bit much to me. Why can’t they let us get any closer than that? Does this seem a little hokey to anyone else?

Knowing there are plenty of people out there who are determined to find out the truth behind the lies we’re told, I went to my trusty old series of tubes to get some answers.

But alas—there were no deeper answers to be found! Can it be that no one has any insights as to what they might really be doing on the 405 over the weekend of the 16-17 July? Constructing new underground viaducts for the lizard people? Israeli scientists doing killer shark exercise at the Skirball? A perfect setup for some Thomas Crown shit at the Getty?

Since the usual truth-seekers haven’t offered any ideas about what’s going on with the Sepulveda Pass, I ask you, dear readers: What do you suppose might actually be important enough (bridge demolition? ha!) to divert traffic for two days?

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