If only I needed a couch

Spotted this ad on Craigslist today:

Couch saves baby from house fire! – $400 (Beverly Hills)

the magic baby-saving couch

Yes, you read that right. The couch that I’m selling for only $400 once actually rushed into a blazing house fire (not my own, I believe in fire safety, folks) & SAVED A BABY. What’s amazing though is that even after saving that stupid baby who started the fire anyway, this couch is in perfect condition. This espresso brown brushed canvas Pottery Barn couch that retails for $1500 is for sale for $400 because I got an EVEN BETTER COUCH (my new couch can unclog the sink & sing operatic versions of Motorhead which is more useful on a day to day basis).

*No need to ask about its availability, you’re reading this post IT’S AVAILABLE! Just ask when to come see & buy :)
** CASHIERS CHECK SCAMMERS NEED NOT INQUIRE – you’re wasting my time & yours. I don’t take cashiers checks from people “out of town on business”.

Those Beverly Hills couches–they’re so fancy.

12 Replies to “If only I needed a couch”

  1. Well, I don’t know if there’s a point–as in a moral to the story. It’s a Craigslist ad trying to sell a couch. I thought it was sort of funny and absurd, and I reposted it here. The end.

  2. The funny thing, Trav, is that on first reading I missed the first line, & thought this was written by you. It’s totally your voice & humor. Though totally not your taste in sofas. Still, I think you should contact the seller & go for drinks with umbrellas in them.

    As far as “the point”, I took it as both a commentary on crass consumerism in Los Angeles in the age of global corporatism, and a meditation regarding a city where, even on Craigslist, everyone with a computer and Internet connection thinks he or she is Brett Easton Ellis.

    Or maybe there was no point. Hey, it worked for Seinfeld.

    1. I definitely don’t think I’m Brett Easton Ellis. I’m MUCH prettier. Like, at least 3 times prettier. I also have a vagina. To the best of my knowledge, Old Aunt B.E.E. doesn’t have a vagina. He does get paid for writing though which I never have due to: my lack of follow through, unwavering talent (my talent is very wavy), & an agent. I’m also a non-smoker. After Google image searching B.E.E. I saw lots of pictures of him smoking. Ew. We’re very different, I recognize this. He’s pure writing employability. I would never ever assume my writing could equal publication.

      We might both be self deprecating.

      I also have a couch for sale. He doesn’t.

  3. CH just doesn’t have a sense of humor or get the whole point of an ICME. People are just taking things way to serious these days.

      1. “It Caught My Eye”–an acronym that started (I think) when Will Cambell started posting photos of interesting things that got his attention as he biked to work. It’s become blogging.la short hand for a quick bit–usually a photo.

  4. I know the person who posted the aad- she’s serious about selling her sofa and had aa bad bbout of insomnia. The point about consumerism may be accurate, as she does live in a part of LA that is beyond conspicuous about consumption.
    BTW, if you’re in Los Angeles, *please* get someone to buy this sofa, as I’m worried about my friend’s mental state if the couch and new couch are in the same room for too long.

  5. Personally, I want to hear the operatic versions of Motorhead songs, whether sung by a sofa, or not.

    And the humorous CL ad is quickly becoming an art form.

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