Let me start with the disclaimer that I’m personally sort of sexual Luddite. Once I went to a sex toy (aka f***erware) party and the hostess began by explaining that there are 6000 nerve endings in the clitoris and it just made me wonder why we think we can improve upon that fine creation. So know that I approach the whole issue of sex shops as far more of a novice than a professional (or should I say “expert”).

That said, I think one of the best things about Touch of Romance is that anyone can find something sexy/fun there and pretty much anyone can feel comfortable shopping there (well, anyone who would be reading this post anyway). The atmosphere is enough like hot-topic-for-the-orgasmic-set to put the shyer shoppers at ease, and at the same time, there’s still a reasonable selection of ball gags for the rest of you. 

We asked what the most popular Valentine’s Day gift was and our helpful hostess/shop girl told us that the We-Vibe, supercalifragalistic vibrator that it is, was this year’s top seller. We-Vibe markets itself as the couples’ vibrator so it’s kind of a perfect Valentine’s Day present, plus since it reaches the clitoris and the g-spot, it pretty much ensures that no matter how rotten a lover you are, your lady will have a good time in the sack. This, to me, seems like a wise investment.

For those on more of a budget, Touch of Romance also has a fine selection of videos, toys, massage oil, and cute lingerie, including the modern day pasty, “nippies patch of freedom,” in a variety of shapes and colors. As you would expect, there is a Baskin Robbins-ish assortment of lube, including, I noticed, something labeled “rim job flavored” lube, “a tasty anal treat,” perhaps unsurprisingly featured on the clearance table.

A few other things worth mentioning because they amused me–the “bounce back Bob” inflatable penis punching bag, the DIY make your own sex toys book, and the “lube injector.” Who knew? I mean, good idea, but as my road dog noted, “Some people are thinking every minute.”

So happy shopping. Have fun and be safe kids.

The details:
Touch of Romance
19212 Ventura Blvd
Tarzana, CA 91356
818-774-9030
Mon – Thu: 11am – 10pm
Fri – Sat: 11am – 11pm
Sunday: 12pm – 7pm

Have to be in Pasadena on Friday?  Behave yourself and be extra sensitive to the red lights as Pasadena Police are running a special enforcement detail from 6AM to 1PM, perfect for the morning commute and lunch traffic. Don’t see a cop? Don’t worry the numerous red light cams are always on in Pasadena to enforce the law. (Missing your front plate…don’t worry the system will grab your rear plate too!)

Ignore the warning only if you have an extra $500 to spend on a ticket, more if you are illegible for traffic school and use that route to avoid a point on your license.

The purpose of this crack down is to raise awareness of the dangers of running red lights.  The cost of overtime for all of the extra officers on patrol is being underwritten by a grant from the California Office of Traffic Safety through the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

Now you may go back to doing whatever you do during the day at work.

Image from a Creative Commons Share-Alike or GFDL License by the author, JOE RAVI

No, its not that kind of fun, rather a fun little flash mob scene at the Hollywood and Highland shopping center. The folks over at GuerilLA have it all planned out.  Bring your banana and pretend its a cell phone.  Talk into it, text with it, take pictures with it, do what ever you do with a cell phone with it.   The Mission starts at the Orange Court Sunday 2/13 at 1:20 and ends promptly at 1:40.  All the details you could want are on their FB page HERE.

This is also a mass transit friendly event as you can take the Red Line to the Hollywood/Highland stop, and it is also a Metro hub.  Beats traffic and parking hassles.

This blog post might not be safe for work due to language. The links are definitely NSFW.

Walking through the Pleasure Chest last night was a blast. I’m pretty vanilla in my own sex life, but I read. A lot. And finally seeing sex paraphernalia I’d only read about up close and personal was a HOOT! I highly recommend a visit there whether you are looking for a fun gift for Valentine’s Day or need to complete your fetish collection. The store is a brightly lit, clean and happy place. No dark corners or shady customers here. The staff that I did speak to were smiling and helpful. And oh the variety of toys to play with!

The first thing that caught my eye was the OhMiBod set of vibrators. These hi-tech wonders connect to your iPod (or iPhone – yes, there is an app for that!) and set the rhythm to whatever music you choose. Gives the phrase “Plug and Play” a whole new meaning. There was also a large collection of vibrators made famous on Sex And The City. Remember The Rabbit? There is a wide variety on that theme – Hop’n Jackrabbit, The Pearl, The Bath Time Bunny and more. The Rabbit has a lot going on with it – multi speeds, parts for internal and external pleasures, independent gyrating sections, etc. Need something a bit more specific? Try the Sqweel – a ten-tongued, multi-speed rotating, uh, gizmo that only stops when you do or the batteries die. (I couldn’t help laughing when I saw it in action as it made me think of those old alien spaceship miniatures used on the original Star Trek.)

Past the vast vibrator section (There was one named “Better Than Chocolate“!) is a huge section of dildos — all shapes, sizes and colors, including some shaped like fists and hands. There were the Classic Cocks (8″, 10″ and 12″) and the Classic Dongs along with the Ballsy Supercock (One Size Fits Most). Point of order here please: What is the difference between a cock and a dong in dildo parlance? There were also “soft pack” dildos – “flaccid and realistic looking cocks to bulk up your bulge” (not usable for penetration). I guess if the ladies stuff their bras, the guys can stuff their undies. I had just never thought of it before! (And they were quite soft.)

Of course there is a section for anal play with Classic Butt Plugs and Smooth Butt plugs. I’m going to be honest that if I had a choice, I would choose the Smooth. Of course I would have to get the Butt Plug Starter Kit before any of that could happen. There was also a Jellies Butt Plug that made me think more of the awesome shoes I wore in the 80′s than it made me think of a sex toy…

In the back of the store is the BDSM section with some amazing masks and crops and chains and leashes. There were ball gags and even beginner ball gags for those just starting out. The ball gags were right next to the mini feather body ticklers which seemed like an odd juxtaposition, but then, as mentioned, I’m pretty square.

The store is large and there is a whole section of videos, another large section for party games and an entire wall of lube – all styles and flavors. They have testers so you can feel and taste the lube before you buy. There are cute panties and lingerie (not a huge selection, but a there was a variety) and even a smoke shop section. There are greeting cards and candles and valentine themed candy. The book section brings together erotica, sex health and even a cook books. Intercourses has fun recipes for all moods and flavors and is a personal favorite.

The Pleasure Chest is a phenomenal resource for sex education. They hold classes and workshops regularly on all topics: fellatio, cunnilingus, masturbation, anal sex, dirty talk, spanking and BDSM (among others). They can even design a workshop to your specific need. They will even help you host parties and fundraisers as well.

When I got there last night, there was a class just starting about Oral Sex. A gay man and a straight woman (I think, I didn’t hear her introduction) gave the class (the class was PACKED!) and from what I overheard while I was browsing, they were really giving a great tutorial on everything from how to talk to your partner about fantasies and wishes to detailed anatomy and how your naughty bits actually work. There was lots of laughter and lots of really good straight-forward information.

Once you buy your costume at Forplay, head over to the Pleasure Chest to get everything else you’ll need for that hot night and life of fun!

The Pleasure Chest (love their logo!)
7733 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood
323-650-1022

And don’t worry – if you are still too shy to actually go to the store, you can always shop their online store!

I’ve always sort of wondered what the deal was with costume and role-playing fetishes. Here’s the thing: There’s rarely any real spectrum of social equality.

Seriously. One one side, there’s the dominatrices and the angry schoolteachers, and on the other there’s the naughty girl scouts and remarkably accommodating flight attendants. Either your boss is taking off her blazer to punish your tardiness with what must certainly be a violation of some kind of workplace sexual harassment policy, or you’re putting the waitress over your knee for misunderstanding your request for “cream gravy on the side.” The power dynamic is always deliberately tilted.

Yeah, yeah, I know: There’s no fetish that doesn’t exist, everyone has differing tastes, Rule 34, yada yada yada. Whatever. I’m well aware of my limitations; I download a lot of porn, and I’m sure I haven’t seen a millionth of what’s out there. But I digress: Regardless of what your costume fantasies are, Forplay in Hollywood is probably the place for you.

Actually, most of the costumes are in the back of the store, and there’s a bit of a thrift-store feel to going through the racks, as they’re pretty disorganized and many are unlabeled. But a little dedication will reveal pretty much whatever you need. Several were, oddly enough, military-themed, and I found enough fairy tale outfits to make me wonder if there’s a dirty movie where someone in a Snow White costume gets drilled by seven little people in turn. Producers, my email is at the top of the article.

More common are the “theme” outfits, ranging from 60′s hippie to, um, sommelier, which was a little weird. Yes, there’s a sexy sommelier costume. No, I do not know which wine pairs well with pussy.

Other folks who might feel at home at Forplay: Leg and foot fetishists. There’s an absolutely huge selection of thigh-high stockings: Argyle, animal print, neon, nurse-themed, fishnet… the list goes on. And once you come to the end of the stocking selection, the wall drops away and you happen upon the surprisingly generous sexy shoe selection. Seriously: It’s like someone built a Foot Locker with the express purpose of encouraging public boners. I’m not into heels, and even I got a little al dente.

For such a sex-positive place, though, Forplay’s selection of actual sex toys is pretty underwhelming. Locked in a glass counter at the front of the store, it seems almost like an afterthought. It’s mostly a heap of nipple clamps and cock rings with a riding crop sticking out of it. Unlike the rest of the store, it’s pretty unimpressive.

Which isn’t to say the cock rings themselves were unimpressive. Like hula hoops those things were.

Have you ever wanted to start your own taxi or livery business?  Ever just want to take cop car for a spin and couldn’t fearing the consequences?  Well you can if you buy one of these retired beauties from the CHP.  The potential uses are there, it just takes a little creative thinking.

They are sold out of Torrance with lists updated daily.  They even start as low as $2,500, arrest history not included.  For all your retired cruiser shopping needs its as easy as a quick phone call to 310-538-0469 for daily updated listings.

I’d probably skip the old Taurus sedans and go straight for the Crown Vic…been in a few over the years and can tell you they ride and handle much differently than the straight up civilian version.  Just remember caveat emptor as these cars though well maintained have had a lot of hard miles put on them.

Pics courtesy CHP Southern via twitter and used with their permission.

It’s been more than two years since Artemio Rodriguez and Silvia Capistran of La Mano Press packed up and said goodbye to Los Angeles for Michoacan, Mexico, and not a trip past their old studio space on Main Street near the Brewery happens without me being reminded the city is less without them and their amazing and  wonderful creations.

So when the announcement landed in my inbox telling me that they’ll be in town to host a one-day event showcasing their artistic projects past and present, I not only found out what I’ll be doing this coming Saturday, but I figured I’d post it up here in case you either never got a chance to get to know them or miss them like I do.

• What: La Mano Press Open Studio
• Where: 1749 N. Main Street, LA 90031 (map)
• When: February 12, noon – 10pm

I am so excited for this, I can’t tell you. Well, actually….I can….and I will. I’m excited!

Pogo is a young Australian bloke who has made himself famous thanks to some crazy musical talent and You Tube. He first captured my (and 5 and a half million others) attention with this remix from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland:

The thing about Pogo is, he doesn’t just make a song that includes sounds from a particular movie, he creates songs with ONLY sounds from the movie. And the music he makes is just too damn good. I like the pleasant, chillout aspect from most of his work. While “Alice” will always be a favorite because it was the first, my personal favorite is “Upular”:

Loyal You Tube fans aren’t the only people recognizing him anymore either. Last year he was honored at the Guggenheim in New York for a piece he made called “Gardyn” that featured his mother and sounds from her personal garden. His latest endeavor, Remixing The World, has him travelling around the world creating music from anything he experiences. “Joburg Jam” is a taste of what’s to come, and I like it.

Making You Tube videos isn’t all he is about. Apparently he plays live too. For a while US fans have been asking him to head our way and he finally is! He’s set to do a brief US tour in March, ending here in Los Angeles March 12. I am really looking forward to it and can’t wait to see what he does live. You can find out more details of his tour here (scroll down to “Pogo tours North America”), including the location of his LA show.

Are any of you fans of his work? Planning on seeing him? I know I’m excited for the new “Lord of the Rings” mix he’s working on.

You could call this the “cut to the chase” gift giving guide for Valentine’s Day. Here at blogging.la we don’t really beat around the bush much–unless you like that sort of thing, in which case, this is probably just the series for you–so when we got together and thought about what kind of Valentine’s Day series to run, we realized there are probably a thousand foodies blogging about where to go to go to dinner and who has the best artisanal chocolates. We could tell you our favorite flower markets or the most romantic day trips or the best views in L.A., but ultimately what’s all that about anyway? You know what we’re talking about. You’re not taking someone to an amazing, and expensive, dinner on Valentine’s Day to express your deep respectful platonic love for him/her, are you? In romance as in sales, always be closing, lovers.

This is a Valentine’s Day series for the closers. We’ll take you inside a couple of sex shops. You can browse along with us as we marvel at the variety of dildos and lube. Whether your favorite flavor is vanilla or something spicier, we should find something you’ll delicious for you, something that will communicate to your partner how you *really* feel. Because you’ll still be enjoying that pocket rocket long after the chocolates are eaten and the flowers are wilted.

Join us as we sing the body electric this week, readers.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

Other posts in this series:

We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Forplay
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: The Pleasure Chest
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Touch of Romance
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Recycling Your Very Used Sex Toy
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Vendor Fair at the Bordello of Decadence
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: The Pleasure Chest, take two
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: Sex Shops and The Nordstrom Effect
We’ve Got Valentine’s Day Licked: The Power of the Little Pink Box

As much as I like to bike around Los Angeles whenever possible, I’m occasionally known to and prone to taking long walks around and across town. Aside from joining in the last four of  the awesome annual Great LA Walks organized by Franklin Avenue Blog’s Michael Schneider, I’ve gone on ferthehelluvit strolls over the full length of Cesar Chavez/Sunset Boulevard from Union Station to Gladstones in February 2007, and the whole stretch of Western Avenue from Griffith Park to land’s end in October 2008 (with fellow Blogging.la’er Julia, among others). Last year, I went on my first March March by going from USC to the top of Baldwin Hills Overlook State Park and back, primarily along Jefferson and Adams boulevards.

So with March coming up again fast, I figure it’s high time I put the word out where I’ll be marching next in case any like-minded crazies wanted to join me — and you should because on March 5 I’ll be heading east to explore an historic and amazing  thoroughfare I’ve pushed bike and gas pedals over many times, but until now have never pedestrianated upon: Whittier Boulevard.

We’re doing things a bit different this time. Instead of an out-and-back all on foot, we’ll be multimodaling by gathering at Union Station for a 10 a.m. departure to board the Gold Line out to East Los Angeles. Along the way we’ll be detraining at a few stations for quick loops and looks around those stops’ vicinities. Eventually we’ll reach the end of the line at Atlantic Boulevard and from there we’ll then head south to Whittier and begin the return trip westward until we cross the historic 6th Street viaduct. We’ll then cut up through the Arts District and make our way into downtown and back to Union Station via Los Angeles Plaza and Olvera Street.

With the inclusion of the Gold Line getting us east, this walk’s total distance will depend in part on the number of tangents we take. The main stretch back to Union Station from East Los Angeles through Boyle Heights is about 7.5 miles, so the total will probably fall somewhere between the 10- to 14-mile range. If I had to guesstimate a more specific number I’d say 12 miles.

So, to recap:

• What: 2nd-Annual March March — Whittier Boulevard
• Starts/Ends: Union Station (main entrance)
• When: March 5, departing at 10am (if raining that day we’ll try again March 12, 10am rain or shine)
• Costs: Bring money for food/drinks and a $6 Metro Day pass is highly recommended
• How far: About 12 miles, give or take
• How long: Approximately 5 hours. Could be longer, could be shorter.

Any questions, drop them in the comments or tweet me @wildbell. Hope you’ll come along for the stride.

So last week Farmers Insurance based in Simi Valley bought the naming rights to an NFL stadium to be built in downtown LA.  Pretty cool, right?  Well the folks out in the City of Industry haven’t given up on an NFL stadium out there and can one up the Downtown LA Folks, their preliminary draft Environmental Report has gotten approval.  The Pasadena Star News is running a poll and as of Sunday afternoon voting is 2 to1 in favor of City of Industry.

Of course its all contingent on getting a NFL team to plunk in a stadium and for that there are no commitments. Personally I think it would be pretty cool to be Downtown if only because it would be mass transit accessible for more folks as opposed to the transit starved C of I.

Where would you put a stadium?  Sound off in the comments and vote over at the Pasadena Star News HERE.

Classic Eats #14 is on Saturday February 19!

And while normally I set up a voting system and give you options to choose from, I’m going to make it so much easier for all of us. (And by “all of us” I mean me.) Classic Eats #14 is going to be a reprise of Classic Eats #2: Downtown Delights – Union Station and Phillipe’s.

It was two years ago (how time flies) that we had a great gang of folks come down to Traxx at Union Station for a cocktail before walking the two blocks to Phillipe’s where we all had some classic LA nosh and a star sighting to boot! (Adam Arkin)

I want to relive that awesome night and I want you to join in.

Classic Eats #14 – Downtown Delights
Saturday February 19
5:30 at Traxx inside Union Station
7:00 (ish) at Phillipe’s

Union Station – Traxx – Classic cocktails in a classic location. All your train travel fantasies come true.

Phillipe‘s - They claim to be the original french dip sandwich place! Their mustard is pretty damn good too. I should know.

Classic Eats!

To say that Los Angeles is car crazy omits half the story: sometimes it’s not the cars, but what the drivers put on their cars, that is of interest.  Case in point: spotted while parked on the West Side yesterday, this otherwise nondescript Honda Fit pretty much covered the cultural spectrum with its stickers.  When you’ve devoted equal automotive real estate to Fellini, Pablo Neruda, Oscar Wilde, Phil Jackson, Severus Snape, and the Lakers, you’re probably an L.A. area driver.

Happy Chinese New Year/Tet!  Unlike the Western new year – which builds up to counting down and is possibly one of the most anti-climatic holidays during the year – the Lunar New Year and Tet celebrations are a week-long fe(a)st: all sorts of foods (some of it specially prepared for the new year), parades with dragons, red envelopes, and symbolic animals.  This year, the Chinese celebrate the Year of the Rabbit; the Vietnamese don’t have a rabbit in their calendar, so, for us, it’s the Year of the Cat.  This weekend, then, is full of celebrations.  Oh, and something about football.

SATURDAY

• The Rose Parade’s Grand Marshal was Paula Deen; the Chinese New Year’s parade unofficial marshal is a golden dragon.  Which do you prefer?  Yes, I thought so.  The celebratory dragon dances and snakes its way during the annual Chinese New Year’s parade in downtown LA; it delights as it scares the beejeezus out of toddlers.  Trust me, I know from experience. Other festivities are planned throughout the weekend, including ping-pong tournaments, cultural workshops, and, of course, food.  If you’re in the San Gabriel Valley, there will be a similar day-long celebration on Valley Blvd.  Free.  The downtown LA parade starts at 1pm at Temple and Hill.  See this calendar for a somewhat informative listing of events.  For those in the SGV, the festivities are from 10am to 5:30pm on Valley Blvd. between Garfield and Almansor.
• The Vietnamese’s version of new year, Tet, actually is in the OC and thus exceeds this blog’s geographical boundaries; nonetheless, I’d be a terrible Vietnamese if I didn’t mention it here.  The Tet Festival – the world’s largest outside of Vietnam, owing to the huge population of my people living in the Garden Grove/Westminster area – ushers in the Year of the Cat with a weekend full of activities and eats.  $5 adults/$4 children.  Saturday, 10am to 10pm and Sunday, 10am to 9pm at Garden Grove Park, 9301 Westminster Ave. in Garden Grove.
• I saw a photo of an “indoor picnic” courtesy some poor New Yorkers trying to make do with the snow storm last month; I was sad, especially I watched my dog lazily munch on some green grass in the front yard.  But, then again, we do things like make up snow.  Take, for example, the “snow” in the forecast at the LA Zoo: for one weekend only, the zoo animals will get to experience the white stuff  (you earned your Angeleno badge if you immediately associated “white stuff” with “coke” instead of “snow”).  Presumably, you will be highly entertained by seeing a polar bear in its almost-natural habitat.  $9-$14.  Saturday and Sunday from 10am to 5pm at the LA Zoo.
• The City of Santa Clarita will designate the day as “Charlie Chaplin Day” to coincide with the 75th anniversary of one of the earliest films about the progress of progress, Chaplin’s Modern Times.  It also happens to coincide with ChaplinFest, a celebration of Chaplin that will include a screening of Modern Times, as well as a few other classic Chaplin films.  There also will be “Chaplin vendors”, from which I presume you can buy yourself a nice bowler hat and cane.  $15 for just the screening; additional passes available for admission to other parts of the fest.  While the fest is all day, “Modern Times” screens at 6:30pm in Newhall.
• The official description says, “‘Poster Peepshow‘ celebrates the pin up girl by featuring original artwork by contemporary artists and pays homage to pin up masters such as George Petty, Gil Elvgren, and Alberto Vargas.”  I think the presence of the Suicide Girls at this art reception is meant to indicate that this celebration fetes the art of the posters, not so much the misogyny and objectification of the women in them.  Julie Newmar, who, even now, would make for a far, far better Catwoman than Anne Hathaway, will be make an appearance.  Free.  From 7pm to 11pm at Gallery Nucleus, 210 E. Main St. in Alhambra.

SUPER GLEE SUNDAY

• It’s Super Bowl Sunday, which means only one thing: the return of Glee! If you haven’t squared away your game day plans yet, check out Super Bowl XLV at XIV.  For just $30, you’ll get AYCE wings, burgers, BBQ chicken, and pork burgers to nosh on while you watch the real men go head to head on a giant (10 feet x 15 feet) screen.  No word on whether you’ll be able to watch a Super Sized version of Glee after the game, but I know you just can’t wait to see Brittany shot out of a cannon.  $30.  The coin toss is at 3:30pm, though I’d get there a few hours earlier to pre-game.  XIV, 8117 Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood.
• For those of you who want to get away from all that football and watch some futbol, head out to Echo Park for LA Filmforum’s screening ofFootball Like Never Before. Way before ESPN’s 30 for 30, Hellmuth Costard captured a story of an athlete (Manchester United’s George Best) by watching him play one game.  Eight 16mm cameras focused on Best, and only Best, during the match.  As the description notes, it wasn’t a particularly important game (i.e., it was no Super Bowl), but the filming technique was revolutionary.  $6 students/$10 general.  The screening starts at 7:30pm at the Echo Park Film Center, 1200 N. Alvarado Street at Sunset in Echo Park.
• Some people hate Bank of America more than they hate AT&T; nonetheless, even the bank’s card members begrudgingly may admit that this isn’t a bad deal: as part of the corporation’s Museums on Us weekends, flashing your B of A card at a participating museum will get you in, gratis.  LACMA, the Autry Center, the Skirball, and the Hammer Museum all are participating.  This doesn’t redeem the bank, it just makes one hate them a tiny bit less.  Free admission with your BofA card.  Full details of the program are on B of A’s website; check each museum for individual hours.

Photo courtesy hexodus via the Blogging LA Flickr pool.

Tonight kicks off the Cinespia’s “Vive L’amour” series, co-sponsored by the Film and TV Office of the French Embassy in Los Angeles, and presented at the Cinefamily (Silent Movie Theater). In tonight’s cinematic bon-bon, Catherine Deneuve stars in Les Parapluies de Cherbourg, the musical story of a sweet, young shop girl and her starcrossed love for a mechanic.

After the movie, a curated selection of vintage scopitones will be screened, and the Frenchie food truck will be on hand serving up appropriate fare, throughout the night . Later in the series Cinespia will screen Beauty and the Beast, Jules and Jim, and Amelie among others. (Some films screen on Saturdays.)

As if that’s not enough, tonight at the Egyptian is a double feature of Goddard’s Contempt and Truffaut’s Shoot the Piano Player. Formidable!

Finally, on a non-French note, while I’m posting about fantastique cinema, I feel the need to give a shout out to the Aero for their Valentine’s Day weekend schedule: Gone With the Wind Saturday the 12th, Casablanca and Double Indemnity the 13th, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s on Valentine’s Day itself. That is one inspired line-up, Aero.

Thank you, L.A., for being so cinematically awesome. J’taime.