The Creepy Beneath Our Feet: Passages to the Underworld

So. The Lizard People live underground. In caves beneath Los Angeles. But according to some believers, they visit the surface regularly (there’s one story that I haven’t been able to source about a humanoid Lizard dressed in human clothing spotted on Mt. Shasta up north). And if they have all these dealings with aliens, how do they get in touch with them? How do the subterrestrials meet up with the extraterrestrials?

The answer is simple: Shuttered pedestrian tunnels.

This is one of the tunnels near my house, at Hollywood and New Hampshire. There are more than 200 of these around the city, many of which were built in the 1920s and ’30s. They lasted until the late 1980s, when Angelenos apparently got tired of living near tunnels full of rats and gang initiates, and the city closed them down one by one. They didn’t go down without a fight, though; city workers went so far as to install mirrors inside some of the tunnels so pedestrians could see if a predator was lying in wait for them.

Locals, and some neighborhood officials, also complained that the tunnels were perfect spots for child molestation, but none was ever reported. Really, you have to wonder about someone who, upon seeing a given location, says “Hey! This would be a great place to molest a little kid!” But I digress.

We all know the real story. Knowledgeable people at the highest levels of government spread stories about muggings and rats and lurking pederasts, all the while knowing that LA’s pedestrian tunnels were an ideal egress route for the Lizard People. And they sealed up the tunnels — ostensibly for our own good.

The next time you’re near one, give a listen. What was that noise? A shuffle? A scrape? A thick, scaled tail sliding against a rock wall?

They’re down there. Listening back. And waiting for someone to get impatient to cross the street.

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8 Replies to “The Creepy Beneath Our Feet: Passages to the Underworld”

  1. Evan — agreed! We’ll throw that idea on the pile at our next meeting.

    Lynda — We have not yet determined whether or not the lizards come from Hell.

  2. I live two blocks from Hollywood and New Hampshire which is a fairly dangerous pedestrian intersection, and schools are nearby

    I would guess the main reason this tunnel was built was to allow school children and others to get across Hollywood Blvd. without braving the cars making the westbound curve from Vermont.

    One has to wonder how more dangerous the tunnel could have been than crossing the street, especially if the tunnel were only open during daylight hours.

  3. But if the tunnel were full of lizard people, then it would be much more dangerous than crossing the street, I’d wager. Much more dangerous indeed!

    Kevin, you continue to amaze. I am going to make you a King of the Lizard People crown to wear at all future blogging.la events.

  4. I know one that is still open – the tunnel under the 5 freeway near Los Feliz Blvd. that allows equestrians to access Griffith Park after crossing the LA river. It’s a creepy tunnel with scary cobwebs!

    Only one time have I encountered sketch people in the tunnel – 2 men and a woman smoking crack. We had to tell them not to touch the horses. The nice thing about being on horseback is no one can really mess with you. Being on top of the horse is preferable to being under the horse.

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