To A New World of Gods and Monsters: Bad Ad Campaigns Part 1

Did anyone else notice this full-page gem in the LA Weekly this week? I look at this and I think “Goddess“? “Fitness”? Wrong. Wrong.

This is noxious on so many levels it’s hard to know where to begin, but let’s say this much at least–maybe this is “the most fun you will ever have in fitness” because make-overs, weight loss, champagne, parties, boutiques, performances, and so on, have, in fact, nothing at all to do with fitness.

But maybe I am being too dismissive. Clearly, more thought went into the development of classes and fitness programs than you might think on first glance. Emma Ridley, the owner of this fitness emporium cogently explains: “At Goddess Fitness there is no right or wrong way to move, it is just movement.” I don’t know about you, but I feel fitter already. I’m even moving while I’m typing this post right now.

Not only can you learn to pole dance and have a make-over here, you can get a dye job and a Brazilian as well because what’s a goddess without a decent pelvic thrust and a body smooth as a balloon? I know I’m ridiculously retro, nay, even prehistoric, to question the empowering nature of stripper heels and hairless twats–I admit, my feminism got beached before the third wave–but can we at least agree that these things are not “fitness”? For god’s sake LA, get a grip. This is not an easy town to be a woman in. Truly.

And then there’s the video. Do you suppose there’s some kind of platinum membership level that gives you the boobs too?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QBtf58cmWI&[/youtube]

9 Replies to “To A New World of Gods and Monsters: Bad Ad Campaigns Part 1”

  1. Websters:
    fit·ness (ftns)
    n.
    1. The state or condition of being fit; suitability or appropriateness.
    2. Good health or physical condition, especially as the result of exercise and proper nutrition.
    3. Biology The extent to which an organism is adapted to or able to produce offspring in a particular environment
    ————————————————————————————–
    well, I think the “Fitness” they’re referring to fails to meet all three definitions.
    I used to wear 3″ spike heels when I was a cocktail waitress, so it’s not someone who is anti-high heels (although I do think above 3″ does cause more problems than women realize)….
    Hadley Freeman in the Guardian has a fashion column about should a woman wear ankle boots for the ‘coltish’ look
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/25/ask-hadley

    Which is the other side of the issue, but still pertinent. Who are such people wearing these things for, and why? The only context I see to the ‘goddess fitness’ is “I have money to spend t look and act like a slut”.

  2. Yikes. As if saving the world and spreading love and and and is not enough…..Just one more thing to do to be a Goddess these days.

  3. That poster does seem to be a bit of a, uh, stretch. Clearly, not everything on the poster could be called “fitness” with a straight face. But I’m not sure that everything on the poster can be dismissed as not fitness-related. Yoga, ballet, (yes, even) pole dancing, circus burlesque (whatever that is), bellydance, and kids dance could all conceivably involve differing levels of physical levels of exertion and result in increased fitness. The rest of the items on the poster? Not so much, and, in the case of the hors d’oeuvres and champagne (come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind a case of champagne), they probably send your fitness levels spinning backwards.

  4. Hey if that’s what it takes to get people moving, more power to them. “In my father’s house are many rooms.” If this helps somebody who feels damaged and unhappy inside to find the self esteem they need to take better care of themselves, good. I think people do this kind of thing tongue-in-cheek a little bit, it’s grown-up play-acting, and for you to come down hard on some lady that just wants to feel better and have some fun doing it feels a bit condescending.

  5. Truly I think that classes in how to undress are not a good route for “damaged and unhappy” people looking for self-esteem. I’m ridiculously old fashioned that way. My post isn’t really a critique of the people who would go to such a fitness emporium as it is a condemnation of the packaging of make-overs, waxing, and pole dancing as “fitness.” Fit for what?

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