Rioters’ Index

June 18, 2010 at 9:03 am in Downtown, FEATURED

With apologies to Harper’s.

Number of rubbish fires: 15

Number of vehicle fires: 3

Number of shopping cart fires: At least 1.

Number of fatalities: 0

Number of people “beaten unconscious”: At least 1. Think it was a Celtics fan, the poor guy.

Number of arrests: 38

Oddest object hurled at cops: Tie between chunks of cement (presumably from the broken sidewalks – like hitting the city over the head with its own shoe) and a rat trap

Objects that the cops hurled back: Tear gas and rubber bullets

Vehicles attacked: Parking enforcement, KCAL 9 news van, taco truck (<– WTF people), taxi, Honda

Poor excuse for a soccer ball: Caltrans barrier, broken.

Alternative to Caltrans barrier-as-soccer-ball: Watching the World Cup on television like normal people

Local Issues More Worthy of a Riot Than the Lakers’ Victory: Unemployment; lack of access to health care; we are still fighting a war, what?; no decent 24-hour coffee shops; massive cuts in library funding

All of the above notwithstanding, number of minutes it took me to drive from Chego in Palms back to my place in Los Feliz at 10:30pm: 25 minutes.  Not too bad.

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