ugh, their pants are always too low. and what’s with their hair always covering one eye??

I can’t stand you young kids and your “ironic” mustaches! In my day we grew mustaches and meant it!

where to begin… let’s try. I can’t stand you freakin’ kids

-I can’t stand your mickey mouse – tailor made – “entertainment” hillbilly musical acts… and their fathers
-I hate that you kids worship vampires that make babies and date dear-in-the-headlights eat-a-cheeseburger “but I just looove you sooo much” suburban teenagers, in my day we worshiped wookies and Jedi’s
-I can’t stand that you all have cell phones and the best I ever had was a quarter for the nearest pay phone
-I can’t stand how you dang kids complain about your slow broadband connection is, but all I ever had was a crappy phone line
-I hate being dragged into hot topic while being surrounded by your best representatives, these losers all gather in the middle of the store taking turns playing death metal DJ
-I hate that you kids call your eccentric friends ‘hipsters’, in my day they were just called weird (and attention whores)
-I can’t stand you kids loitering around the mall, back in my day we hung out at the kwik-stop with Jay & Silent Bob
-and last but not least, back in my day we didn’t need twitter to get the latest scoop, we passed notes around in class.
…freakin’ kids.

These kids and their sparkly vampires. Vampires are blood-sucking death machines, not body glitter models.

- i hate how American Apparel and clothing models who look like hostages in windowless basements are fashion role models for The Kids
- i hate how Kanye West and other egomaniacal too-cool talentless hacks have hijacked pop music away from The Kids
- i hate how modern movie studios refuse to tell an original, decent story that isn’t a remake or a sequel to The Kids
- i hate how network news is more prurient and sensationalist than ever so they can grab the attention of The Kids
- i hate how the government has failed to provide the necessary resources to fully educate The Kids
- i hate how style has trumped substance in the eyes of The Kids
- i hate skinny jeans

but i don’t hate The Kids.

Damn young folks and their ridiculous sexting. In my day, we used AIM to have our ill-advised raunchy conversations, and we liked it. (Actually, I’m pretty sure nobody actually liked cybersex.)

These whippersnappers with their insane inability to do anything without an iPod in their ears. Seriously, any person under 18 looks strange to me now if they DON’T have white earbuds.

Damn these kids and their ironic irony; their tight fitted knickers and oversized tops; their garish sunglasses and hobo shoes; their noncommittal dancing; their nonchalance. Damn their obsession with asymmetry, greasy hair, tube socks, arm warmers, leg warmers, big bows, flannel and plaid. Damn their ability to care without caring. Hate without hating. And be without being.