I once heard someone say that they had to miss a USC football game (as a member of the band) because he had to “go sing with a boys’ choir in the woods.” Needless to say, no questions were asked. Better not to know.

I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies’.

Once, in high school, I got out of a date I really didn’t want to have by using the completely true excuse, “My little brother lost his pokemon card collection. I have to help him find it before he breaks anything else in the house.”

Well, I can’t figure out public transportation in Los Angeles and don’t have a car, so my excuse is usually “The bus doesn’t go there. If you want to come pick me and then take me back, sure.” It’s a guaranteed out for anything farther than 20 minutes away or that takes place between 4-7 pm.

I can’t go because I have a job interview in the morning.

There’s five skunks in my front yard and I’m scared to go out.

I always go with the class “I’m pure liquid from the neck down” No one asks questions after that.