Cougar Convention TONIGHT

MountainLionAttackProtocolReaders who happen to be old ladies:

Younger men are better looking, healthier, have more energy, are more fun, don’t need Viagra, and won’t die on you!

Such is the rationale for tonight’s California Cougar Convention.  While older men are considered men even though they show off their grays in the form of a young blond, society’s answer to the reverse situation is: predatory animals.  So, in the spirit of the jungle kingdom, the Society of Single Professionals (yes) organized tonight’s convention  for cougars and their would-be cubs at the Beverly Hills Crowne Plaza Hotel.  Thirty dollars will buy you access to the stalking, the pouncing, and the purring; in addition, the young cubs will vote to elect a Miss Cougar California (who must be 40 or over (that’s who an “older woman” is, apparently) and “legally single”) during the night’s dance party.

For those of you who want so desperately to cougar, but don’t know how, take the 6:30 class in cougaring at The Cougar School, free for paid convention goers.  I’m not exactly sure what this will entail, but I’m envisioning the scene from The Lion King where Mufasa teaches Simba how to pounce.  Cubs, heed the sign’s warning: If attacked, fight back.  Zazu should have been so lucky.

When mountain lions attack photo taken by jurvetson and used under a Creative Commons license.

10 thoughts on “Cougar Convention TONIGHT”

  1. Embracing a label signifying a cat that pounces on its prey. Do some women think that is empowering to them? I find it anything but.

  2. I don’t find it empowering. I find it highly irritating. I have never understood embracing ageist, sexist, racist, homophobic labels to empower yourself.

    What blows my mind is when I hear 40 year old men calling 40 year old women cougars. I asked a guy about that once and he’s like well 40 isn’t old for a guy. And I’m like really because I remember 40 being pretty up there when I was 20 and I still think it’s pretty up there in my 30s. Nothing wrong with getting older, but this is sexist crap in my opinion because it seems to be mocking women who aren’t nice little housewives that pack their kids lunches and volunteers at the school.

    I get the post is a joke, but it doesn’t challenge anything. Of course it doesn’t have to, but it’s just I think we need to be a little more obvious about things that are obviously built around oppressing people.

    I was on the bus and I saw Hillary Clinton on Transit TV just as herself talking )with no spin from smart ass jerks) at a conference and I think it’s a tragedy that people feel that it’s ok to completely disrespect this brilliant woman because she doesn’t stay home and make cookies, nothing wrong with making cookies, but there is more than one way to be a woman.


  3. Isn’t getting worked up about a label like “cougar” all just a little too PC? First of all, the idea that older men who exclusively date younger women somehow get a free pass from teasing is simply ridiculous. Any guy who dates a girl more than maybe 10-12 years younger than him will certainly hear about how she’s only into his money, hear some viagra jokes, some “is she old enough to drink” jokes, and so on. Until recently it may have been more common than the older-woman-younger-man situation, but that’s probably because a 40-somthing guy dating a 20-something girl doesn’t particularly care if he’s being made fun of.

    Secondly, “cougar” is really a pretty gentle tease as far as these things go. It’s not like they’ve been nicknamed “trolls” or something. Hell, to me it sounds less insulting than calling a fat gay guy a “bear,” and I’ve never heard anyone get worked up about that.

    Thirdly, you might consider that either a man OR a woman who, without having a particular partner in mind, thinks “I’d like to date someone, but it’s important that they be 20 years younger than me” IS being a tad shallow and deserves to be mocked a little.

  4. Reminds of some banter between my brother and sister. Both were 40ish dating someone one 2 years younger. My bro had the audacity to tease my sister for dating someone barely old enough to drink. Her slam…”20 goes into 40 a hell of a lot more than 40 into 20″. Nuff said. I could have cared less on either of their dating at that time, if it made them happy and it worked I figured go for it. You can’t help who you fall in love with.

    Nice post.

  5. I don’t think it’s getting worked up. In this state we just got through saying that same sex marriage couples can’t get married. The house just passed a health care bill that has an anti-choice measure in it. I think this kind of stuff, this little stuff (dehumanizing people with words, making little jokes here and there) is what gives the big stuff legs, but that’s just me.

    If you think the images of people and how they are portrayed have no impact on people and how many rights they have then I can’t convince you otherwise. Maybe all of the hate just comes out of a vacuum. Maybe it’s not little stuff, maybe people just come out of the womb being sexist, homophobic, classist, and sexist. Maybe it’s biological? That to me sounds odd, but if sociological forces aren’t the cause then…well I’m at a lost as to what causes hate.


  6. Yeah, the post was supposed to be very tongue in cheek. I’m with browne on this one: “cougar” is sexist and ageist — as if the only way we can really understand women acting this way is to de-humanize them and label them as animals stalking certain helpless prey. While admittedly relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, every little bit to wear away at the status of women in general does stack up rather quickly, and ultimately impacts how women are treated in the media and in interpersonal relationships.

    And, just to be clear, anyone going after anyone 10+ years their junior deserves to be mocked a LOT. And the person who is younger in the relationship also deserves to be mocked and their marbles questioned. I’m first in line to do both. The jokes – old enough to drink; sugar momma/daddy; robbing the cradle; etc – are all equal opportunity. It’s the “cougar” label, reserved specifically for women, that I find unnecessary and damaging.

  7. Ok. This is really un-pc, but I like cougars. Or I think I would like cougars. Cuz my mission in life would be to convince them that us older guys still have some life in us and that we would really be interested in meeting a woman who’s still got some life in her. Now I just have to meet a self-proclaimed cougar and see where we can go from there.

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