I was in a chin wag with a bloke and mate over the Streets while watching tele yesterday. Mike Skinner is an ace. Luvvly-jubbly! I’d be off my trolley if I was his bird. I’m
au fait with all his beats. I’d go nutter to catch him on stage!

TRANSLATION: I was chatting with two friends about the Streets while watching tv yesterday. Mike Skinner is brilliant. Lovely! I’d love to be his girl. I’m familiar with his music. I’d go crazy to see him perform live.

“jammy” = lucky

i would feel so incredibly jammy if i won these tix :) want SO badly to go!

bangers and mash!

aka sausage and mashed potatoes

You’d never guess “Cream-crackered” means “tired”

Blimey! I twilight crap da Streets. I gok wan’t afford ter actually buy da tickets, but tony blair is a Twist (and twirl) I wish ter take.

Could you see i’ in your big jam tart ter give a pair ter me dis time? Thanks. Nuff said, yeah?

TRANSLATION:

I love the Streets. I can’t afford to actually buy the tickets, but there is a girl I wish to take.

Could you see it in your heart to give a pair to me this time? Thanks.

This may be more Scottish than British, but I’ll give it a try:
I’m a chocolate teapot after I got an ASBO and ended up skint.

I’m useless after I received a civil order for doing something ‘anti-social’ (like graffiti, harassment, vandalism, or just being inappropriately loud)….and now I have no money.

I used to hire Brits as teachers for my schools in S.E. Asia, and I still can’t stop saying ‘Bob’s your uncle”. To me, it just sums up the situation: you do this and this and this and you can’t miss…because a highly-placed Army official named Bob is, indeed, your uncle.
Now, I teach Mexican and Asian-American kids near East L.A. and I have to explain the whole thing every year. I hear that some still use the expression after graduation. That makes me very happy.

Though I can’t go to the show on the 15th, I thought I would add that I’m also a fan of “Bob’s your uncle.” My other favorite is “knackered,” meaning tired, worn-out, beat, lacking in energy due to physical exertion.

Flower, I also like the variation “Robert’s your father’s brother.” That’s in a Guy Ritchie movie, either “Lock, Stock …” or “Snatch.” Speaking of which, those give a great education on cockney rhyming slang, and one of them has a whole glossary on the dvd special features. And it’s why Toshio’s “cream-crackered” means “tired,” because it’s c.r.s. for Burns’ “knackered.” Get it? Meanwhile, gotta go, I hear the dog and bone, and I think it’s my trouble and strife telling me I’m in a bit of Barney (Rubble). (Translation: “I hear the phone, and I think it’s my wife telling me I’m in a bit of trouble.”) Not really.

I don’t know a lot of the Brit slang.. but when I was in London for the weekend I did learn what it was to be “mullered!”

see also: rat-arsed, tanked, off your face, juiced up, arse-over-tit, snockered, slogged, faced. … well, drunk. :)

I fancy calling sneakers “trainors” because it makes me sound more athletic…you know, like David Beckham. He’s pretty cool. So if I’m like him, then maybe I’m cool too?

Easy Geezer, would be pucker if I could get to this gig ya get me, true say a couple of my bredrins now ex mates acted like cheifs and skanked me. Plebs. *goes to toke a fag*
anyways would be blinding if you lit could send me I ain’t been back home in yonks and don’t really get to shows out here yasimi…

Equals

hi there it would be awesome if I could get to this show, a couple of mates were going to go with me but let me down… Shitheads. Smoke a cig.
Now that I have calmed down it would be great because since moving to la I’ve hardly been to any shows.

Minger! I’ve dated some right mingers in my day. Glad I have a tasty bird now