Cola Dysphoria Disorder

June 16, 2009 at 11:29 pm in Food & Drink, Politics, Rants

"The first diet cola for men" (3rd St, Near Fairfax)I

Your author, Lulu, is a manly man. Brimming with machismo and testosterone. And yet I never knew until just recently how badly I was threatening this masculinity by consumption of those girlish, effeminate colas I drank until I learned of the virtues of “Pepsi Max”!

It is true that I had already learned, through the joys of commercial advertising, to conform with my gender identity by choosing shampoos, perfumes (sorry, colognes), razors, vitamin, cocktails (though I drink rarely), yogurt (I know to drink mannish kefir), and media, that flatter my swagger. I am happy my local corner alerted me to this additional constraint. Oh, the pitfalls of gender!

4 Comments »

Matt Mason

I’m surprised they didn’t call it Pepsi M’Axe. I guess that would have been a trademark issue.
http://www.wildbell.com WILL CAMPBELL

Conversely, despite being somewhat ridiculously labeled and promoted and trademarked as “The Whole Nutrition Bar for Women” I am not ashamed to admit that I have long been conspicuous in my consumption of Luna Bars (owned by Clif Bars & Co.).

Once, just to see what would happen, I contacted their customer service center to “complain” about the blatant and meaninglessly sexist stance. Their solution was to buy me off with a free box of the flavor of my choosing — Lemon Zest, by the way.
wilberfan

This is such unholy horseshit… The scary thing is it will work on some guys…
seano138

cola dysmorphic disorder?

Cola Dysphoria Disorder

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