Comments on: LADIES & GENTLEMEN, READY YOUR SPATULAE http://blogging.la/2009/03/26/ladies-gentlemen-ready-your-spatulae/ Lizard people dude. Seriously. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 03:54:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: lucindamichele http://blogging.la/2009/03/26/ladies-gentlemen-ready-your-spatulae/comment-page-1/#comment-41033 lucindamichele Mon, 30 Mar 2009 04:42:42 +0000 http://la.metblogs.com/?p=23905#comment-41033 Jeff, I am so stoked you want to compete! As a former competitor & someone who has seen the blood, sweat & tears over the years (much of it my own--literally, there was blood three out of the three years I competed), I have some bits of advice for you: 1. Pull a team together beforehand that will BE THERE that day & will actually help you & won't bail on you. 2. For the love of God, don't care about it too much. 3. Following up on #2, don't spend a lot of money! Not for high-quality Tuscan prosciutto, not for decadent chestnut paste, not for rare cave-aged gruyuere handmade by monks & set to age in a cask under the sea for fifty years...YOU WILL LOSE! AND YOUR MONEY WILL BE ALL GONE! AND YOU WILL HATE EVERYONE FOREVER! So don't spend money. 4. Don't rush, or you'll end up like me staring in hypnotized horror as a giant chunk of your own flesh drops gaily into a pile of sliced apples beneath your mandoline slicer. 5. Between the drunk, stoned crowd, the spazzy runners, you, your cooker's variable heat and how close to vomiting the judges are, your chances at winning are really almost a crapshoot. Understand this. Embrace it. 6. That said, some things are surefire crowd-pleasers: butter. Caramelized onions. Cheese that actually melts (a tip: grate it first). Mascarpone and chocolate. Boobs. 7. Good luck, and go with God. Jeff, I am so stoked you want to compete! As a former competitor & someone who has seen the blood, sweat & tears over the years (much of it my own–literally, there was blood three out of the three years I competed), I have some bits of advice for you:

1. Pull a team together beforehand that will BE THERE that day & will actually help you & won’t bail on you.
2. For the love of God, don’t care about it too much.
3. Following up on #2, don’t spend a lot of money! Not for high-quality Tuscan prosciutto, not for decadent chestnut paste, not for rare cave-aged gruyuere handmade by monks & set to age in a cask under the sea for fifty years…YOU WILL LOSE! AND YOUR MONEY WILL BE ALL GONE! AND YOU WILL HATE EVERYONE FOREVER! So don’t spend money.
4. Don’t rush, or you’ll end up like me staring in hypnotized horror as a giant chunk of your own flesh drops gaily into a pile of sliced apples beneath your mandoline slicer.
5. Between the drunk, stoned crowd, the spazzy runners, you, your cooker’s variable heat and how close to vomiting the judges are, your chances at winning are really almost a crapshoot. Understand this. Embrace it.
6. That said, some things are surefire crowd-pleasers: butter. Caramelized onions. Cheese that actually melts (a tip: grate it first). Mascarpone and chocolate. Boobs.
7. Good luck, and go with God.

]]> By: WILL CAMPBELL http://blogging.la/2009/03/26/ladies-gentlemen-ready-your-spatulae/comment-page-1/#comment-41032 WILL CAMPBELL Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:31:08 +0000 http://la.metblogs.com/?p=23905#comment-41032 The First Seventh Annual? The First Seventh Annual?

]]> By: robbbbb http://blogging.la/2009/03/26/ladies-gentlemen-ready-your-spatulae/comment-page-1/#comment-41031 robbbbb Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:35:18 +0000 http://la.metblogs.com/?p=23905#comment-41031 I went last year... there was way too many people there for the number of sandwich-making teams. It took, literally, over an hour for me and my two friends to get a quarter of a sandwich each. I went last year… there was way too many people there for the number of sandwich-making teams. It took, literally, over an hour for me and my two friends to get a quarter of a sandwich each.

]]> By: flowerofhighrank http://blogging.la/2009/03/26/ladies-gentlemen-ready-your-spatulae/comment-page-1/#comment-41030 flowerofhighrank Fri, 27 Mar 2009 05:56:29 +0000 http://la.metblogs.com/?p=23905#comment-41030 Attended last year. This year, I want to compete! But, I want to compete as a team. If you're interested, reply here. Thanks! -Jeff Attended last year. This year, I want to compete! But, I want to compete as a team. If you’re interested, reply here. Thanks!
-Jeff

]]> By: queequeg http://blogging.la/2009/03/26/ladies-gentlemen-ready-your-spatulae/comment-page-1/#comment-41029 queequeg Fri, 27 Mar 2009 03:06:42 +0000 http://la.metblogs.com/?p=23905#comment-41029 Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes.

]]> By: Burns! http://blogging.la/2009/03/26/ladies-gentlemen-ready-your-spatulae/comment-page-1/#comment-41028 Burns! Fri, 27 Mar 2009 02:35:13 +0000 http://la.metblogs.com/?p=23905#comment-41028 As MissRFTC will be dieting, I'll have her share, too. (I'm a team-player like that.) As MissRFTC will be dieting, I’ll have her share, too. (I’m a team-player like that.)

]]> By: missrftc http://blogging.la/2009/03/26/ladies-gentlemen-ready-your-spatulae/comment-page-1/#comment-41027 missrftc Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:53:21 +0000 http://la.metblogs.com/?p=23905#comment-41027 Great. Just when I started my new diet. Great. Just when I started my new diet.

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