Post-romance movement, anyone?

Plush smiley heart for your true love, anyone?

If Valentine’s Day jewelry, “special menus” and similar ploys to prey on your better nature leave you cold and feeling used, try scouting for a gift from Under the Table, the next-door store of Black Maria Gallery in Atwater Village that sells artist-designed goods– and trust me, these you won’t find at Hallmark. (Everything is 20% off Feb. 11, 12 and 13.)

Don’t get me wrong. There are tame, thoughtful, even beautiful handmade gifts, some of them perfect lovely; but if plush toys in very poor taste and something called “angry panties” are your way of screaming out “I loooove youuu!!!” then this is for you too.

Also, while we’re on the subject, Thrillist tipped me off to these Awkward Valentines written and designed by an obviously embittered, relationship-scarred LA duo. How nice that they’ve managed to turn lemons into sour, mean and nasty lemonade.

Traditional and nontraditional gift ideas from Under the Table after the clicky.

See what I mean? Nice, traditional, might get you laid.

Definitely post-romance, still might get you laid.

Black Maria Gallery

Los Angeles 90039

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4. High School Turkeys
5. Support Local Artists & Designers: Rock’n'Roll Xmas Party & Fashion Show at Qio