If rubbery, artificially bloated lips and a smooth, expressionless mask that is actually your paralyzed facial muscles is your cup of tea, then women of Los Angeles, (and some of the men, too,) rejoice! Allergan, the company that brought you Botox (and raked in $600 million from it in 2007 alone) has a new product that will make your eyelashes burst with growth, causing people to ask, “Have you ever thought about getting into therapy?” “Are you wearing false eyelashes?”  At least according to one of the human guinea pigs (a pharmaceutical industry VP, no less,) in the trials conducted for FDA approval.

Today’s NY Times has the story, but this being Los Angeles (and I include you too, Orange County,) our sprawling city, recently reclaimed by the Prince of Plastic Surgery, will surely see the fruits of Allergan’s most recent labors, generously peopled as we are with self-adoring, yet fragilely insecure types who aspire to “reinvent” themselves on the outside in an attempt to conceal, if not drive a stake through the hearts of, their emotionally crippled inner selves.

The stuff is being marketed under the name Latisse, but really, it’s just Allergan’s glaucoma treatment drug, Lumigan, repackaged and marked up “slightly” in price.

During my time in LA, I’ve gotten used to seeing the boob jobs, puffy porn lips, strangely placid faces and perky little nosejobs. I suppose I will get used to the overgrown eyelashes too. I keep telling myself, in the latter case anyway, anything that makes the world a little more like Liza Minnelli can sometimes be a good thing.

Photo: Chameleon/Wikipedia; public domain.

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