LA Eastside Rallies Troops, Forms Resistance

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It’s no secret there’s been all sorts of conflict over the division of the Eastside and Westside. The battle is no simple black and white matter, either–numerous factions battle for supremacy. Hipsters rise above their ennui long enough to dub Silver Lake the eastside; Boyle Heights & East LA residents rattle sabers, just DARING the mustachioed tight-pantsed hipsters to cross the LA River; and dopey Santa Monica dwellers in Dockers refuse to even cross Western Avenue. What a mess.

So it is with great amusement that I’ve been following the debate over at LA Eastside, where with the post “Mas Revolucion!” the die-hard Eastside OG blog attempt to rally the TRUE Eastside troops to resist the coming hipster apocalypse. Senor Guerrero, a hat tip to you and your excellent post, which manages to address real LA social issues with wit and humor.

On a tangent, though, I sure wish gentrification would come to Canoga Park. I’d take hipsters any day over gang shootings two blocks over. Hipsters are obnoxious, but rarely deadly (unless rabid), and they do increase my property value. Is it a sign of institutional racism that the well-kept yards and tidy homes of my immediate neighbors–who are working-class Latino families and excellent neighbors–are not enough to raise the property values in the area? Sigh.

6 Replies to “LA Eastside Rallies Troops, Forms Resistance”

  1. When I lived in San Francisco in 2007 (the beginning of my Exiled From L.A. Tour that now finds me dwelling in Las Vegas), I took a part-time gig for a spell as doorman at the landmark bar, Vesuvio, in North Beach. Do you know what night I dreaded most? Friday nights, when the so-called “bridge and tunnel crowd” spilled into North Beach (in L.A. they’re called hipsters).

    First of all, the asshats cannot handle their liquor and, frankly, no human body can withstand the odd combinations of shooters and beer and Jagermeister and Goldschlager that they indulge in as if the ship is sinking and the captain just clanged the “free drinks” bell. When in the throes of wild cocktail mixtures, these animals in sleek clothing are prone to painfully embarrassing acts of exhibitionism (often including some form of nudity and/or regurgitation on the bar room floor), followed by hostility and aggression and, oh look, the police just arrived.

    Having lived among middle class Mexican-American families (and the attendant gangbangers) in the northeast section of Burbank and endured the agonies of hipster-dom in North Beach, I can honestly say that I’ll take the former over the latter.

  2. In over 2 years, I have yet to see a Santa Monica dweller in Dockers. The uniform is jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, and, when required by the weather, hoodies, or, for women, add scarf + mocassin boots for bohemian chic look, or fitness garb while working out on the Stairs under police surveillance. Western Avenue? What’s that? Must be past the 405. I have noticed, though, the burgeoning bushes on upper lips that seem to be spawning to the East. Perhaps that’s the influence from the porn stars in the Valley.

  3. In over 2 years, I have yet to see a Santa Monica dweller in Dockers. The uniform is jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, and, when required by the weather, hoodies, or, for women, add scarf + moccasin boots for Bohemian Chic look, or fitness garb while working out on the Stairs under police surveillance. Western Avenue? What’s that? Must be past the 405. I have noticed, though, the burgeoning bushes on upper lips that seem to be spawning to the East. Perhaps that’s the influence from the porn stars in the Valley.

  4. This is an armchair version of class warfare. Not to say it isn’t amusing.

    Also, Matt, thanks for the theory on the genesis of the current mustache trend. You may be right, although it had crept back as a gay thing prior to the youth picking it up again. But then again, probably due to young gay guys discovering 70s porn for the first time, so your porn angle holds.

    Personally, I think a mustache can be hot on the right guy. I’m not one of them.

  5. Brandon Flowers from The Killers frequently has a ‘stache, and thus he might be an influence too. However, if that’s the case, I’m not sure the imitators get that Flowers often likes to go for the Vegas/ironic/camp/cheese effect.

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