i am truly sorry. i may not know you or your friend, but it is a crime against women and it affects us all. may she find peace and courage and rebuild her life.

Thank you Tammara. I wish your friend all the best as she recovers.

Sometimes I think about how essentially different is it to live as a woman: to know that, in general, you can be overpowered and hurt, or killed, should someone take it into their head to do so. Granted this could happen to a man too, but it’s not a condition of living. I am vulnerable and I know it. It informs many decisions, from not going certain places alone at certain hours of the day, even of the way I carry on conversations with strangers…I’m not some paranoid mess, but it’s there. It is. It lurks deep behind every male-female interaction. It’s primeval. And it’s a bummer.

I am so sorry for your friend, I hope she is recovering and gets help with overcoming the trauma. It’s truly awful and sad.

And I second what Lucinda said. It is a different way of living.

I am sorry to hear that, Tammara. That is truly horrible. Please let her know that she is in our thoughts.

Thank you for sharing this. Hopefully, it will prevent it from happening to someone else.

Thanks all. My friend is pretty tough… and healing… but it was and is a difficult thing to recover from and even grasp all the implications of. Why one person is singled out and brutalized so thoroughly that she is now having trouble just going about her business doing basic life things.

It brought up how precarious life is, how fragile.

Ultimately, what Lucinda said rings so true. There is an overlay to everything when you are a woman. I try not to stay in anger about this… or fear around the general truth of it in our society and about my friend in particular, but it does bring up a lot of rage. We have come a long way in healing this, in not blaming the woman for being a target, with education. Realizing that it is not so much a crime about sex, but about brutal terror and domination…but we still have a long way to go.

Ladies – we are not helpless! Yes, we may not be as big or strong as men, but that does NOT mean we cannot defend ourselves.

I took an amazing seminar called the B.L.A.S.T. (Basic Ladies Assault Survival Training) and it changed my entire perspective. The course gives you the skills, knowledge and most importantly the CONFIDENCE you need to live your life, free of fear.

Of course, that doesn’t mean throwing common sense out the window (i.e. you still shouldn’t walk in a dark alley alone at night) but your life doesn’t need to be “overlayed” by the fact that you are a woman.

Please, check out this very special opportunity, it could change your life: http://www.bukido.com/blast.html

I used to live at Franklin and Canyon and in the 7 or so years I lived there, things continued to go downhill with crazy guys walking and shouting up Franklin Ave. Luckily, I have a big big dog who isn’t a pushover. I suggest that the city encourage landlords to allow pets because besides owning a gun (and being able to get to it quickly etc.), a dog is the best deterrent to crime. I wish your friend well.