Driving ‘Tard of the Day


Yesterday, I was trying to pull out of a small shopping center parking lot on Lincoln Blvd. in Marina del Rey, next to the big Harley Davidson dealership.  Lots of cars were coming towards me on Lincoln, and our entire side of the road was lined with parked cars, which blocked my view of oncoming traffic.  So I had to inch out, crane my neck to see, stop when I invariably saw a car coming, wait, and then inch out some more.

All of a sudden, I feel a sharp rap! from behind.  I look in my rear-view mirror, and see that a young woman in a new convertible has just struck my car.  I get out of the car and look at her with my best David St. Hubbins-mouth-agape-the-tiny-Stonehenge-setpiece-is-descending look. She gets out, and we have the following conversation:

She: I didn’t think you were going to stop like that.
Me: Yeah, well, it’s your job to wait until I’m really gone.
She: Next time, don’t jerk so much.

Luckily, there was no damage to my car, and I was too amused at her ‘tard-ness and loony defense/offense to argue further.

But I must appeal to the aggressive, the inattentive, the cell-phone-to-the-ear abusers, the texters, the asshole drivers of the Los Angeles area, the ‘tards, if you will: please reduce your ‘tard-ness factor behind the wheel, take some responsibility, and help make this city a safer and more pleasant place to live.

(Photo by Matt Mason, somewhere in bug-filled Texas)

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