Top 8 reasons to vote yea on Prop 8: Stop gay marriage!

#8: With gay marriages will come gay divorces. Does our country need more divorces? Didn’t think so.

#7: Brad Pitt said he wouldn’t get married until marriage is available to everyone, meaning gays. Do gay men or straight woman want Pitt off the market? Didn’t think so.

#6: If being gay becomes more mainstream, there will be less need of closets. Do you really want closet manufacturers to be laid off? Didn’t think so.

#5: Gay marriage would apply pressure on more men to “commit.” Really, fellow men, do you want to encorage this sort of behavior? Didn’t think so.

#4: Married same sex couples will stop referring to themselves as cryptic “partners” and instead as “spouses.” Do you hate mysteries? Didn’t think so.

#3: The further mainstreaming of gay marriage will result in more movies like, “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.” Do you hate America? Didn’t think so.

#2: Under Governor Mitt Romney, Massachusetts made gay marriage legal. Do you liberals want to be like Mitt Romney? Didn’t think so.

#1: More weddings, gay or otherwise = more wedding showers and wedding gifts. Do you really want to spend more time browsing wedding registeries at Pottery Barn for anything affordable besides something called a soup tureen? Didn’t think so.

8 Replies to “Top 8 reasons to vote yea on Prop 8: Stop gay marriage!”

  1. Gay couples wouldn’t be caught dead registering at Pottery Barn. Think Design Within Reach and Herm├Ęs.

  2. David don’t forget that it means more horrific bridesmaid dresses or tux rentals, too. Weddings don’t just mean gifts, they mean painful clothing. Band together to stop the horror!! ;)

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