Trouble in Paradise Cove: Paparazzi Surf Wars and the Shame of Los Angeles

Paparazzi are parasitic scum.  Paparazzi have a right to photograph public figures.  Both of these statements come to mind as a drama between paparazzi and surfers plays out on a section of beach in Malibu ironically named Paradise Cove.

Apparently, when actor Matthew McConaughey goes surfing in Malibu, a bunch of paparazzi follow him to the beach.  I don’t know if McConaughey invites or tolerates the paparazzi to suit his career, but anyone with the first name Matthew and an alliterative last name gets my sympathy right away.

Apparently, the other surfers on the beach feel the same way.  Last weekend, either bothered by the intrusion into McConaughey’s privacy, fueled by surf-dog brotherhood, or simply fed up with having to share their beach, they kicked some paparazzi ass, reportedly breaking one photog’s nose and dragging another shutterbug into the water.

This drama has made not only the local news but also the cable news networks. The cast of characters is growing.  The Mayor of Malibu and even Kenneth Starr are now involved.

The surfer/paparazzi battle serves as a reminder that tabloid photos and videos of “celebrities” are a huge Los Angeles export.  How soon can we expect helicopter shots of white Ford Broncos with surfboards on top?

14 Replies to “Trouble in Paradise Cove: Paparazzi Surf Wars and the Shame of Los Angeles”

  1. The paps are scum, but I really wish someone would have smashed those stupid, ignorant kids in the mouth. It’s asses like that who get judges to issue orders protecting the free-speech rights of paparazzi.

  2. What Rumors Daily said.

    Ever try to use a Malibu beach when you don’t live there? Lots of luck
    Better, ever try to go there with a plate frame indicating you are from the Valley?

    I have to admit I sit mixed on this. Paparazzi without a doubt are bully scum invading privacy and putting people near them at risk. The surfers and their turf battles are some scary shit too. With either we lose something.

  3. If everyone kicked a little pap ass, I’d like to think eventually their numbers would dwindle. I know that’s wishful thinking, but court orders or not, they need the shit beat out of them.

  4. I’m reminded of the movie “Point Break,” and the surfer gang (which included the Chili Peppers’ Anthony Kiedis) that tries to kick Keanu’s ass for intruding on their beach.

  5. I have no sympathy for the surfers nor the paparazzi, owing to the demeanour of Malibu in general as well as the fact that both groups make money off each other. But I did find it funny that when I clicked on the TMZ link to see the fight video, a Hersey’s commercial of people having a party on a beach was a bit hilarious.

  6. I was there on Sunday with my family. A wonderful day, wonderful memories, all tainted now by stupid violence. Paparazzi are bottom feeders. On the other hand, the “Locals Only” guys are just a bunch of aggro-bigots who would just as well be attacking “Fags,” “Niggers,” or “Mexicans” if the Paparazzi weren’t so readily available.

  7. Ummm, I don’t know. I surf once in a while and everyone is always super mellow, even as I flail around with my horrible inability to actually surf and thereby drop in on their wave. Whoever these “surfer gangs” are, I’ve never seen ’em. It takes a lot to rile up the surfers I know.

  8. You’re right Lucinda.

    These guys aren’t surfers, these guys are drunkards who sometimes surf.

  9. What is funny is that this incident blew open the “secret spot” way more than it ever would have if a couple mcconaghey surf pics got into US mag.

  10. Lezgull, thanks for reminding me of one of the most unintentionally funny, poorly delivered lines in movie history. Of course, given that the line was delivered to Patrick Swayze, it takes on more poignancy now.

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