64 Worst: Lack of Dunkin Donuts vs. Transplants

I’ll just say it: Los Angeles has no Dunkin Donuts. We have Krispy Kreme, we have Yum Yum, we’ve got Bob’s. We even have California Donut (my personal favorite). But there is no Dunkin Donuts anywhere to be found. None of their legendary coffee, not one single Boston Creme. Here on the left coast, it is never “time to make the donuts.”

On the other hand, if it weren’t for all these damn transplants, LA wouldn’t be full of east coasters whining about their precious donuts. What the heck, transplants? If you miss it so much, GO HOME. And for heaven’s sake, stop planting grass in your yard. Native plants will grow better and make you look like less of a water-wasting ass.

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21 Replies to “64 Worst: Lack of Dunkin Donuts vs. Transplants”

  1. Great post. No dunkin donuts is not goint to end my life. Personally, If I have a hankering for a good donut I run to Christy’s here in outer monrovia on foothill. Krispy Creme are too far away and only go there when I need 2 doz to make a bread pudding (Yes…bread pudding that is so f’ing good you’ll forsake all others).

    Transplants…I’m one. Been here more years than I care to admit and cannot imagine being anywhere else. The poll should have been “whiny transplants” to make it easier. Those that whine constantly how much better it was “back there” should just go. They aren’t adding to the city so its time to bale, and of course leave Ruth666 their parking space.

    In the end I’ll interpret it as “whiny transplants” and cast my vote that way. That affects our growth way more than a chain donut store.

  2. I could care less about Dunkin’ Donuts, but the ironic part is that I don’t hear Dunkin’ Donuts fans missing the donuts so much as the coffee.

    As for transplants, it deserves to be on the list, since so many native Angelenos complain about people who move here. But, as a transplant, I see it.

    My beef isn’t with transplants so much as the whiny snots who move here and being complaining right away, or leave in a year or two complaining about all the plastic people. Worse yet are the college grads who come here, then bitch about “not making it” after a year or two, whining that they’ve paid their dues.

    L.A. 4 Life, is all I gotta say. Until you’re in L.A. for ten years you’re just a temporary visitor.

  3. I know a few people who miss the donuts. At least those are good (though really not any better than what we’ve got here). The coffee, though? The WORST. Awful. Disgusting. I’d rather drink Starbucks.

  4. Dunkin’ Donuts used to have a chain of stores in L.A. but they phased them out a long time ago. There is, however, still one franchise remaining on Crenshaw Boulevard in Torrance.

    Here in Las Vegas, Dunkin’ Donuts-branded coffee is sold in stores but the shit is something like $8.00 a pound. No thanks.

    Incidentally, most of the remaining Winchell’s franchises are independently owned and operated affairs — licensing the Winchell’s name — hence, the inconsistent quality at many of the stores.

  5. Complaining about “transplants” is a provincial conceit. All big cities are full of people from elsewhere, that is what makes them interesting. Going on about people from elsewhere makes one look like a rube, even when distinguishing between those who whine and those who do not.

  6. I transplanted to L.A. over thirteen years ago and made it ‘home’ immediately. I do miss Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, but apparently John Krasinski will be opening one for us soon! More than the lack of DD though, I do get aggravated by other friends who have moved here and complain endlessly. I find myself defending L.A. frequently or just not talking to the whiners anymore. You can find things to complain about anywhere you live, so why not embrace all of the wonderful things that do exist?

  7. Bert Green: “Complaining about “transplants” is a provincial conceit. All big cities are full of people from elsewhere…”

    Yes, but all of the great cities of the world are full of provincial conceit. Ergo NYers, Parisians, Chicagoans, Bostonians, et. al. If you want to consider Los Angeles a world class city then it, too deserves the right to practice provincial conceit. You can’t have it both ways. You lose, good day sir!

  8. “Yes, but all of the great cities of the world are full of provincial conceit. Ergo NYers, Parisians, Chicagoans, Bostonians, et. al. If you want to consider Los Angeles a world class city then it, too deserves the right to practice provincial conceit. You can’t have it both ways.”

    Well, in my experience, the “provincial conceit” that you are referring to in other cities is what I would call civic pride. Cities that are “world class” — New Yorkers, Parisians, etc generally do not refer to people who move to their city and choose to contribute to its cultural and/or economic strengths as whiners or transplants.

    I would not place Chicago, Boston or San Francisco in that category. Los Angeles can do better.

  9. Random re: Dunkin Donuts — I remember there was one in Honolulu when I was about 5 (early 70’s) and it was a really special treat to go there and get donuts on a Saturday morning. After Malasadas the humble donut was such a novelty!

    As for transplants, I think there does need to be the adjective/qualification about said transplants. I’ve been here 22 years and was a whiny transplant after about 7 years (the first 4 were college, which was awesome, then I had to “start life” and that was hard.) So after whining, I walked my talk and moved away. After a year with some travel and then settling into Seattle (which I liked very much) I realized, “hey LA, it’s not you, it’s me” and I HAD to move back and I’ve been in love with this amazing city every since. The honeymoon will never be over.

  10. Lack of Dunkin Donuts upsets me the most because they advertise on local TV. WTF is that about?

  11. my vote goes to whiny transplants. i’ve been in LA since i was 4. in college i was constantly defending LA because everyone thinks everyone in LA is plastic.

    so when the whiny transplants refer to the “plastic” people they are referring to other whiny transplants…i used to get really bothered but nowadays the whiny transplants are just amusing

  12. Here in Las Vegas, Dunkin’ Donuts-branded coffee is sold in stores but the shit is something like $8.00 a pound. No thanks.

    They are sold here in L.A. too (my local Ralph’s and Target both have DD coffee). The price is prohibitive though.

  13. I keep bristling when people say I should have qualified “transplants” and I’ve just figured out why. It’s not because I didn’t qualify (of course I meant the whiny ones) but because the beauty of a poll like this is that you can interpret it however you like. Answer it the way YOU want to. So now that it’s too late to vote, that’s what I want to say: answer the question in the way that suits you, and insert the word “whiny” if you need to.

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