64 Worst: Parking Tards Vs. The Grove

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Continuing in our scientific investigation of the 64 worst things about LA I humbly present two stomach churning examples of rampant douchebaggery. People who park like complete dickfaces, and of course, The Grove.

nice parking retardWe’ve spent a lot of time here talking about Parking Tards and with good reason. Being a car-centric city parking is important, and when some asshat strolls in and wrecks it for everyone else someone has to take note, someone has to stand up, someone has to speak for the little people and say “You sir/madam are a Parking Tard!” There are really only two excuses for this kind of behavior, complete and utter disregard for your fellow man, or complete ignorance of your surroundings. Both are equally crappy, and no question one of the worst things about LA.

But what could possibly hold it’s own on the suckatude scale against such a menace? Only something so shallow, so fake, so contrived that the simple mention it of brings the proudest Angelino to his or her respective knees. Something so appaling that tourists clap when they see the preprogrammed fountains splash around to pipped in oldies, something so forced that nimrods will wait 15 minutes to get on a fauxtrolly that will transport them all of 500 feet. Of course I’m talking about The Grove (incase you missed that from the title and lead in). It’s horrible and I wish it would die in a fire. But at least there are good views from the top of the parking structure.

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11 Replies to “64 Worst: Parking Tards Vs. The Grove”

  1. Let it go, Sean. Resistance is futile. They are legion and they won’t stop until you enlist in thier cause.

    One of us
    One of us
    One of us
    One of us

  2. Wow. This is tough. I deal with parking ‘tards at work every day, sometimes to the point of not getting parking that I pay for. But, I also DETEST The Grove. Decisions…decisions…

  3. If one doesn’t like a mall or whatever you just go somewhere else, its not like they are the only game in town.

    Parking tards, we can’t escape them. We can’t even educate them when we talk to them. For them its a big FU I’m more important and they don’t give a rats ass about anyone else.

  4. “Only something so shallow, so fake, so contrived that the simple mention it of brings the proudest Angelino to his or her respective knees.”

    I think is a more fitting description for City Walk. But instead of trolleys and fountains you get $10 parking, gangbangers, and annoyingly loud pop music blaring overhead.

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