I’m shy. I talk a good game, but get past the bluster and you’ll find I’m a shrinking violet.

The most I’ll chat about sex in public is to pepper my language liberally with the use of the f-word.

So I kind of can’t believe I’m gonna go to Love LA this weekend, but I can’t imagine a more wallflower-friendly, comfortable-sounding event. It’s all warm’n'fuzzy and it’s at Boulevard 3, which is just so much less clinical than, say, the convention center. I know some of the other bloggers on here have blogged other “adult” events in the past, but I’ve never had the guts to attend those in-your-face conventions where porn stars sign the chests of hundreds of adoring fans. This, however, sounds much more my speed. And so I also thought maybe you folks would like to go, so I emailed them and asked if they’d be willing to do a ticket giveaway, and they are!

So I’m gonna ask a question–a raunchy, make-me-blush, in-your-face question behind the jump, and whoever comments will be entered to win a pain of tickets! We have two pairs to give away. See you on the other side…

Two trains 150 miles apart are traveling toward each other along the same track. The first train goes 60 miles per hour; the second train rushes along at 90 miles per hour. A fly is hovering just above the nose of the first train. It buzzes from the first train to the second train, turns around immediately, flies back to the first train, and turns around again. It goes on flying back and forth between the two trains until they collide. If the fly’s speed is 120 miles per hour, how far will it travel?

And now for a roundup of Love LA’s neato-sounding workshops:

Kinky Crafting
It’s time to shrink your dink! The Los Angeles Craft Captain shall guide you in making your very own seductive and explicit shrinky dink, suitable for framing or wearing…

The Art of Corsetry
Discover the erotic pleasure of the corset. Bree Wardlow, a crafty corsetiere, will teach you how to pick out a corset, properly lace it solo or with a partner, and be available for all corsetry questions…

Kick Start Your Kink: BDSM 101
Learn the essentials of negotiation, spanking, light bondage and dirty talk…

Playful Pleasures: Sex Toys 101
Learn the joys of sex toys!

Joy Stick Secrets – How to Please Your Man
Join internationally acclaimed sex educator Midori for this in-depth training on orally pleasuring your guy…

Oral Ambitions: Cunnilingus
Love LA Sex Educators cover pleasure-based anatomy, discuss favorite tips and tricks, and share toys to tease and please…

And there’s more, but this is a fambly website, y’hear? Go visit their full schedule for info.

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1. Yer Gonna Do What To Who Now?
2. Love Tofu? Love Your Laptop?
3. “Guns N’ Roses” are gonna play their first LA show in 15 years!
4. I’m not gonna hurt ya, Brando. I’m just gonna tear your house down!
5. Tonight we’re gonna Rocket!