pleasetothetable.jpgI’ve been expecting a book from Amazon all week. I’ve been terribly excited because it is a cookbook and is not all vegetarian but came recommended by a vegetarian friend. This means it will have nice things for me (mostly veggie) and my husband (mostly carnie) (hahahahaha). This is the second time Amazon has sent the book to me — the first time it didn’t show up. This time around it had an estimated delivery date of Wednesday. I checked the mail Wednesday, no book. I checked the mail Thursday, no book. Friday was the day of rest (I forgot to check) but I went and checked early this afternoon. No book. Wait a second, what’s that on the floor? Holy hell, IT’S MY BOOK. Still in the Amazon wrapping, NEXT TO its box. Someone has opened my box and found my book to be undesirable. There are two open, empty boxes (addressed to other people) next to mine.

Now, I am extremely annoyed with the would-be thief. But I am REALLY pissed at the mail carrier. I am certain it wasn’t the regular carrier, who is awesome and knows me well enough that she brought me a Christmas present with the wrong apartment number on it (there are 150 units in my building). But someone from the post office left packages unattended by the mailboxes.

I intend to write a letter of complaint to the postmaster when I have calmed down a bit (it’s been most of a day and at this point the letter in my head has improved to “Fuck you in your FACE!”). Other than that, what can I do? I imagine not much, but damn it, I’m mad.

7 thoughts on “Postal”

  1. The postal carrier will normally leave packages where the manager instructs in the case of such a large — yet modestly large — building (I once lived in a 365-unit structure in Palms.) Are you certain that the substitute carrier wasn’t simply doing as instructed?

  2. I would say that you need to:

    First…find out who the culprit is, make sure he/she is a meat eater and then turn to page 357 and whip em up a mean batch of Ris i Krupi.

  3. I had a really crappy mail carrier once who had a habit of leaving my mail with my neighbor and vice versa. My neighbor’s kid had a habit of opening everything that came to their house, and since I used to get custom body jewelery shipped to my house, I would have to get everything re-autoclaved every time the mix-up occurred. Very, very annoying.

  4. Rodger, I’ve lived in this building for five years and the carrier has ALWAYS called up to my apartment when there’s a package. If I don’t answer, she leaves a slip in my mailbox. The only trouble I’ve ever had till now is substitute carriers leaving a slip without calling up (come to think of it, I was home on Friday) and once a package waiting for me at the post office with no slip left at all (it was from my mom so I knew it was coming).

    Coffee Burt, I like the way you think.

    Marshall, that sucks! Were you able to do anything about it?

  5. I’d make a police report. Stealing packages is a big deal. From the USPS site:

    “If you believe your mail was stolen, report it immediately to your local postmaster or a Postal Inspector. Postal Inspectors may determine whether your problem is isolated or part of a larger mail theft problem in your neighborhood–and it may help them locate and apprehend the thieves.

    You can file a mail theft report with the Postal Inspectors by calling toll-free (877) 876-2455 or complete the report online at”

    And make sure you let the manager of the building know you’ve done so.

  6. BTW, I think it’s a little strange that your ire is aimed at the mail carrier and the postmaster rather than the asshole that just stole packages from you and your neighbors. That’s who I’d be looking to open a can of whoop ass upon!

  7. Spencer, I’m angry at the post office because my package should never have been where thieves could get at it. It should have been delivered straight to me or held at the post office, like every other package I have ever received here. Instead it was left in a high traffic lobby.

    Thanks for the tip about filing a report.

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