I gave up my belief in Santa Claus fairly recently, right about the time he failed to deliver on any of my requests, even though he knew what I wanted since I sent my threatening letter to the fool via Priority Mail. And I’ve got my Delivery Confirmation tracking numbers to prove it. So be it; Santa is dead to me. But I still can’t get behind the sort of depiction the cheap bastard has been getting lately, like the defamatory blowups in the picture above, spotted at a Highland Park pupuseria. To suggest he is some sort of rabble-rousing, get-outta-my-way bike rider is bad enough, but to utterly crush the remnants of Santa’s soul by equating him to the sinister mouse of mediocrity, now that’s just fucked up.

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1. Griffith Park Santa-thon?
2. Swing, Santa, Swing!
3. Yes, Virginia, There Is A Black Santa Claus
4. Santa Monica Election Ads Turn Crooked
5. Santa is out in full force