Veal Fattening Pens pass this sign every day on the way to work (click to embiggenate). As you see, it advertises what the developers call a “lifestyle village,” which is to say, apartments right next to the mall with a swimming pool, spa, “private club,” and boutiques. Pearl Lane, bills itself as “a paradigm shift” because you can actually walk to things (which is, of course, because it’s practically inside the freaking mall, but hey). And here, I feel compelled to quote a passage from their site: “The first thing you notice when you start walking is that the world slows down and invites a kind of heightened awareness. Sights, sounds, smells, the touch of the morning air on your skin. You become more relaxed. You’ll fit in your clothes better…”

I’m not even going to get into the fact that they paved an orange grove for the development, but come on people, this is Northridge Mall. It is the epitome of suburban blight. Truly. I know I’ve seen too many futuristic dystopia movies, but as I’ve remarked here before, I find Pearl Lane frighteningly reminscent of Logan’s Run. If you click the sign to make it bigger, you see it says, “Exciting and innovative lifestyle village/ Live * Shop * Dine,” and every day when I pass it I think, ” * And Die”

7 thoughts on “Veal Fattening Pens”

  1. more productive, comfortable, not drinking too much, regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week), getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries, at ease, eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats), a patient better driver, a safer car (baby smiling in back seat), sleeping well (no bad dreams), no paranoia, careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole), keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then), will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall), favours for favours, fond but not in love, charity standing orders, on sundays ring road supermarket
    (no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants), car wash (also on sundays), no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows, nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate, nothing so childish, at a better pace, slower and more calculated, no chance of escape, now self-employed, concerned (but powerless), an empowered and informed member of society, (pragmatism not idealism), will not cry in public, less chance of illness, tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat), a good memory, still cries at a good film, still kisses with saliva, no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick that’s driven into frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness), calm
    fitter, healthier and more productive
    a pig
    in a cage
    on antibiotics

  2. Travis, you have to run with this latest version of urban blight ala SCAG. All the city managers are jumping on that idea in exchange for redevelopment money. Never mind it should be spent to cure existing problems not new ones.

  3. So Cal Assoc of Governments. A PAC, though they won’t call themselves that. ITs the local governments plotting and planning then lobbying in Sac and whereever they can be heard to get their plans funded. If a local gov’t doesn’t participate they run the risk of not getting redevelopment funds.

    SCAG is also a term for the lovely’s working the Magnolia Park in NoHo. You decide either way its pimping public property and assets.

  4. Posted by: frazgo at November 5, 2007 02:35 PM:
    SCAG is also a term for the lovely’s working the Magnolia Park in NoHo. You decide either way its pimping public property and assets.

    At least the lovelies in the park are providing a service.

  5. Yes, there is a little bang for the buck with the latter option. Pun intended.

    You crack me up.

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