The Backup Halloween Costume

Halloween 2007. It’s new, yet the same as years previous. There’s this party, or that event. Last minute invites, etc., etc. Inevitably, at the fall of dusk on All Hallow’s Eve, you will be stricken with the same terrible thought from 365 days earlier:

“I’m gonna start working now on a cool costume for next year!”

Today is October 15. You still have no idea what you’re going to wear this year. You don’t even know what you’re doing for Halloween. You’re like me, and just plain lazy.

What’s your backup costume? Are you seriously going to pull out the old Napoleon Dynamite again? Do you really think your friends want another appearance by Yankee Fan? Or are you going to throw something “original” together, and hope that you don’t have to walk around explaining WTF you are?

Maybe you’ll just end up being a pirate again. Or is that a colonial minuteman? Zorro the Gay Blade? Orlando Bloom?

Dressing up as like an idiot sure is fun.

9 Replies to “The Backup Halloween Costume”

  1. I have a great last minute costume that I rely on year after year. I go as an “asshole”, I practice 24/7/365 and have it down to a science.

  2. Michael#1 made me laugh.

    I figured out how to go as a poop complete with a toilet seat as a “necklace”. I just need the time to put it together.

    Last year I went as my dipstick neighbor right down to bad red hair (wig) and a uniform mocking his own wannabe “homeland security”. He of course isn’t invited to tne block parties as he is a social retard.

  3. I’ve kept a classic one-piece skeleton suit in the closet for several years. Good for handing out candy, or throw on a gray hoodie and, voila, Donnie Darko!

  4. Backup costume:

    Cut out an empty milk carton. Put on face. Be missing kid on the milk carton.

    (Stolen from an old MST3K “Invention Exchange”).

  5. Last year’s costume, stoplight:

    cut out red circle of construction paper
    cut out yellow circle of construction paper
    cut out green circle of construction paper
    tape to black t-shirt.

    done!
    -Ben

  6. Cut out an empty milk carton. Put on face. Be missing kid on the milk carton.

    You, my friend, have a freakishly small head. I’m sorry. Somebody had to tell you. ;)

    I went as myself for Halloween last year, with a cardboard, life-sized, photo realistic version of myself stuck to the front of my real self.

    OMG, that’s the funniest god damn thing EVER.

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