Douche Parade on Fountain

Today on Fountain at about 2pm, there were about 5 complete maniacs driving. Not only were they pulling the extremely lame ‘fake-right-turn-and-then-accelerate-ahead-of-you’ trick, they were also actually pulling into opposing traffic lane at a stop light, and then accelerated around me.

WTF.

Sersiously. I’m Type-A. I drive defensively/aggressively. I observe the speed limits, but drive with the flow of traffic. I also think to be driving that fast and recklessly in a neighborhood is criminal.

GRRR. I hate people.

What atrocities of the road have you witnessed?

12 Replies to “Douche Parade on Fountain”

  1. Today I watched a cab slowly and methodically drive through a red light and weave between the cars running perpendicular to him. I don’t know what he was thinking. The honking didn’t seem to phase him much.

    I’m in DC though, so that might partially explain it.

  2. You’re failing to differentiate this particular douche parade from every other moment in my life in LA, which seems to be a 24/7 douche parade. What was especially unique about this circumstance to set it apart from the everyday west-coast dipshit-ery?

  3. I spend an hour a day commuting to work, plus running errands and shopping and the rest of life. Yesterday I, quite literally, narrowly avoided 4 serious accidents while in the parking lot of the market. A day I don’t see a half-dozen cases of life threatening douchebaggery is a good day.

  4. I see the same goofy shit and retards doing outright illegal and dangerous stuff daily.

    I like the goofy bitch in her suv that get’s behind me in a turn pocket and flashes her lights at me to go while I stop for oncoming traffic. More often than not I’m stuck as the opposing traffic includes another friggen SUV in that side blocking my view down the street. Sorry, but no matter how hard you flash your lights I’m not moving until I see what’s coming down the street. I drive a car and SUV’s block my vision and we all know that you don’t turn if you can’t see what’s coming at you.

    My other favorite is the 3 ‘tards that use Foothill Blvd as a way to avoid the 210 in the morning. Never fails I will see at least one of them use the parking lane at the crosswalk to go around cars stopped for the crossing gaurd and kids on their way to school. Only one of them I have ever seen get a ticket. Traffic enforcement in the school zones and school crossings here is pretty much a joke.

    Lot’s of dipshittery for sure, it happems everywhere. Some days are worse than others. As long as I’m within the law if I get hit its the other guys problem. I’d prefer not to get hit but sometimes you are just a sitting duck.

  5. I commute along Fountain from Los Feliz to West Hollywood and yes, that route is a happy haven of horrible driving.

    When you wrote:
    the extremely lame ‘fake-right-turn-and-then-accelerate-ahead-of-you’ trick
    I had to laugh because that’s my current pet peeve of the moment!

    And it’s not just when the queue of cars at the red light is long and someone has decided they’re not waiting in that line (and it’s often a Mercedes – Merc drivers are the most arrogant and self-centered).

    The other day, I was stopped at a red light on Fountain around Gower. I was the first in the line, right up against the crosswalk, waiting for the red light to change.

    Behind me pulls up a middle-aged woman in a new-ish Volvo sedan. So, she is second in line at this red light, right behind me.

    I watch incredulously as she puts her car in reverse, goes backwards a few feet, puts it in drive, and then pulls up alongside me, to my right, in that non-lane that is really for drivers making a right turn.

    I try to give her the benefit of a doubt, thinking “Well, she’s just pausing before she makes her right-on-red…”

    But, no. She is waiting there, idling at the red light, just like me — only now she’s alongside me to my right! I can’t believe it.

    Our red light turns green and, sure enough, she guns her car forward trying to beat me across the intersection.

    I drive a Lexus hybrid, and it’s FAST.

    So — call me macho or stupid or hey-man-just-let-it-go — but I hit my accelerator and proceed to pass her. She is trying to swerve to her left, of course. That’s how these fake-right-turners manage to cut in line before they rear-end the parallel-parked cars on the other side of the intersection.

    But I’m too fast and she has to brake hard before rear-ending the parked cars along the other side of our intersection.

    I am now fully in the lane on the other side and see in my rearview mirror that she’s slid in behind me, just where she would’ve been had SHE SIMPLY WAITED HER TURN AT THE RED LIGHT BEHIND ME.

    At least she didn’t flip me off. That’s my second pet peeve of the moment: When a driver does something wrong to you (e.g., cuts you off dangerously when you have the right of way) and then flips YOU off, as if you committed the wrongdoing. I guess the best defense [against you being an asshole] is a strong offense.

    Drive carefully all!

  6. i would like to add PRIUS DRIVERS to the douchebag list as well zealot CYCLISTS who bitch and moan about how they have a right to the road but don’t follow any traffic laws. oh, and armenians.

  7. I must confess that I used to do the ‘fake-right-turn-and-then-accelerate-ahead-of-you’ trick every now and again. I’ve stopped doing it since there are fewer people who hesitate when the light turns green. Must be the heavier traffic.

    Sometimes there’s someone back in line with a left turn indicator on, and rather than getting stuck for a cycle or two, the right lane seems appropriate. Normally, though, it’s good form to let the guy on the left take the lane ahead of you on green.

  8. I drive a Mercedes, but I swear I’m a good driver. I can’t say the same about the a-holes who, when I realize they are driving slow and go around them, suddenly get a boost of energy and try to drive faster than me.

  9. BTW, LosFelizRider, although I agree with your opinion that the Volvo was out of order by trying to get the jump on you from the right at the lights, boxing her in by gunning your Lexis is pretty un-cool. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done the same thing myself, but I’ve felt bad about it afterwards. A moment of anger can reap bad rewards (I could tell you about the time I was chased through Hancock Park, but that’s another story.)

    Over the years I have seen many rear-ended parked cars on the east-bound side of Fountain just past La Brea that were probably cause by the same events. After a delivery truck started parking there there weren’t any more, but the city has changed the parking restrictions there so the truck’s no longer there.

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