Pasadena Parking ‘Tards

I took my son out to dinner in Pasadena tonight, and came across this parking genius:

Note the bonus points for parking an SUV across two compact spaces. As a driver of a compact car, I salute the asshole who made me look for a space while he took up two of them.

Now, this isn’t your average, every day parking ‘tard story. This one gets even better . . .

After dinner, on our way back to the car, we discovered a new parking ‘tard, in the exact same place!

I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself. Maybe these spaces have some magical field around them, drawing parking ‘tards from all over Los Angeles with their Siren’s call.

(Please forgive the poor framing lighting on the second photo; it was getting dark, and my Ocean’s camera was highlighting the license plate a little too much. Yes, I realize now that I could have blurred it in photoshop, so I give myself a photography ‘tard award.)

12 thoughts on “Pasadena Parking ‘Tards”

  1. It’s too bad there’s no government agency you can turn this sort of photo in to and have a fine assessed. I suppose the risk of photoshopped pictures would be too high to just let the police department send out tickets based on third party photos.

    I can dream, though.

  2. Woohoo Wil, we can start the count for that ‘tard Roger to whine about parking posts not being exciting or informative. It is on all counts in my book. Did you submit it to

    Rumors…there is no basis for ticketing “compact” or lane hogging. Sadly “compact” is a planning thing not a motor vehicle code.

  3. In my olde punk rag, I usta sell bullet-proof vests (yes, I did.) After two short years back in L.A. (from years in New York), I think I should start selling spike strips albeit ones with advertising for when the news ‘copters swoop in.

  4. As I prepared to enter the Santa Monica Freeway tonight at Santa Fe, a small compact car drove 100 feet into the freeway onramp, only to stop and make a u-turn to exit the onramp the wrong way. Needless to say, the truckers were tooting their air horns, while waving a single finger directed at this driving tard.

  5. Mack I needed that laugh. Thanks. We can rewrite that old song from hair to now read “tard, tard everywhere a tard”….wait I think I may have a headline somewhere. Can I copyright it?

  6. In the first picture, the two ‘tards next to him need awards too. Both of them are parked over the lines. Nice, Wil…you got a three-for-one parking ‘tard photo!

  7. These ‘tards will tell you that they HAVE to park that way otherwise OTHER ‘tards will scratch their cars. It amazing what owning a big vehicle will do to the thinking process.

  8. I am the first person to point the finger and rant at this type of asswhackery and the last person to condone or defend it. BUT there is contributory negligence involved in the first photo regarding the encroaching cars on either side of this douche… not so much on the right but there’s a definite neutral zone infraction on the left. Does that entitle the tard to straddle the two spaces. Hell nah, but I see the better-safe-than-sorry flawed logic: even if he or she crept in to either space they’d be hanging over into the other and risking a retaliatory door ding.

    If it were me I would’ve grumbled and just moved on down the aisle. Or better yet: I’d’ve ridden my bike.

  9. Hehe… Thanks Mack, “bass tard”. If he was also a Republican, wouldn’t that make him a (EnglishAccent) “right bass tard”? (/EnglishAccent).

    Also, I wish these ‘tards would realize they are driving a truck, not a car. Some SUVs are actually so heavy (over 3 tons) that they are breaking the law every time they drive them (loaded) down most of the side street in Pasadena, Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Beverly Hills etc. There’s a good chance that these two ‘tards broke the law just getting there!

  10. Last week I drove into a notoriously bad parking lot in my ‘hood. The spaces are seemingly extra small, the planters large, and the lines faded. So it only takes one mistake to result in a line of parking ‘tards – innocent ‘tards, if there is such a thing. I parked in one such line. Imagine my horror when I returned to see the two similarly tard-ed up cards flanking mine gone, and the one to the right of the one that had been to the right parked within the lines, thus leaving me to look like the sole ‘tard! ARGH! I didn’t do it! I was innocent. Dammit.

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