So, as I promised, here’s sorta my take on what it’s like to blog the Emmys.
There’s a sort of cognitive dissonance that arises when, for the first time, you’re sort of on the other side of the tv cameras and webnews reports. You’re actually there, and no one looks as glamorous as they seem to look on camera or in the photos. They all look–from the celebrities to the handlers to the media people to the caterers–slightly harried, a little disheveled, their clothes unremarkable when taken in relative to their surroundings–we were all dressed up, after all–basically, the playing field seemed oddly leveled. None of us, actors and lowly servers alike, thought this was FUN. It was something that had to be done. The glamour, the high-flung mystique, is apparently added by distance and by experiencing things through secondary media, rather than “primary sources”; that is to say, the effing tv and photos and gossip writer’s column is what makes these people seem larger than life.
In person? They are just as tall, fat, rumpled, weird and awkward as you.
As we left, we encountered Kyra Sedgewick and Kevin Bacon in the back alley amidst pandemonium as limos pulled around back to pick up fleeing stars. The Sedgewick/Bacon party gathered around a golf cart, Bacon and company already seated inside, Kyra disembarking. “I gotta run to the bathroom,” she muttered, breathless, and bonked her head on the roof of the cart as she hopped out, splashing into a puddle of water.
It’s exactly what I would have done.
More behind the jump.
Blogged to Dntel’s “Life Is Full of Possibilities.”
The award for Most Cogent Replies To The Press (because everyone except the comedians, who are used to thinking on the fly, stumbled and muttered and trailed off and used lots of “um”s and “like”s and left unfinished sentences and made no sense) goes to America Ferrera, for not only being ariticulate and completing sentences, but for actually communicating something of value:
“This award is just…it symbolizes all the wonderful blessings I’ve had in the past year. I’m humbled to be on a tv show that I believe is actually making a difference and inspiring people and changing the way we look at prejudice and diversity. I’m so incredibly blessed for being able to do what I love to do. This is just a dream for me since I was five years old. This is all I ever thought I would do. This reassures me of the power of dreaming.”
The Award for Best Subtle Diss Of The Tabloid Media is awarded to Conan O’Brien:
“You’re aware O.J. was arrested?” a member of the press asks. “Yeah,” said Conan. “I think Mary Hart told me, just now, outside. Which is a beautiful way to get your news, but it’s kinda disturbing. So I went to that guy from Extra who used to be in a rock band and asked him. When Pat O’Brien confirms this story I’ll be ready to discuss it with the press.”
The Award for Best Backhanded Insult of Ryan Seacrest goes to Mr. Askin, chairman and CEO of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, whom I can only refer to as Mr. Askin because I went to junior high and high school with his daughter, and my clearest memory of him is of him flipping burgers in the backyard, clad in khaki shorts and a Hawaiian button-down shirt, looking very preppy as always. When asked how many people were asked to host the Emmys before the Academy got to Ryan Seacrest, he replied “Well, we never asked anybody formally. I’d say he was in the top three or so.”
The Award For Best Coddling Of The Jaded Media In Order, Possibly, To Receive More Favorable Write-Ups goes to Fox TV, for providing us with all sorts of free food & drinks all night long. This shitty picture is of fixin’s for chocolate mousse with shortcake, chocolate shortcake with whipped cream and vanilla cream, and raspberry puree for on top. And maraschino cherries. And I think there were Oreo crumbles too.
And a neverending flow of lemon bars, pecan bars, fruit-and-nut cookies, chocolate chip cookies, all isotopes of coffee, fancy-schmancy waters, juices and energy drinks (lo-carb and full-carb), boxed gourmet salads with things like short ribs, tri-tip and grilled chicken, various and sundry multicolored wraps, and cigarette girls who milled about, all legs, for the entire show, handing out free candy, from Whoppers to giant Hershey bars and candy bars and all sorts of crazy stuff.
Award for Best O.J. Joke of the Night goes to Jon Stewart:
“O.J. Simpson in jail–he’s in jail? Right now? I thought, coming into a room with a gun in Vegas–I would say to him, ‘Is this how it goes down, Capone? Kill two people and go down for a gun in Vegas?”
Award For Kicking Ass & Taking Names:
Me. I’m really pleased with being able to make 30 posts between the show’s start around 5pm and its completion around 9pm (although I made a few later that night from my car, parked next to my office building so I could hop onto their wireless, because we weren’t allowed to stay in the media tent after the event had ended), which included having to take pictures of the winners as they were led backstage by their handlers, transcribing their meandering replies to the press’s questions (except for America and a few others), proofing & posting that plus dumping the photos onto the laptop, cropping & sizing, then uploading them to the server and posting, all while keeping an eye on the actual show itself, simulcast back in the media tent on two large flatscreens to either side of the podium, at the same time as the winners were being led through to meet with us. It was insane. It was very fast-paced. It was high-pressure. and it was pretty rad.
I’m sure many a seasoned blogger has done far more with far less, but as for me, well, this was a daunting task, my first awards show ever, and my tenth day on the job, with the eyes of our national HQ on my progress (word from national is they liked it) and as such was a helluva baptism by fire.
Mad props go to KFI’s news reporter Steven Gregory, who was there with me, and, a seasoned vet of such events, helped me to find out where I was going, who I needed to talk to, who I had to pay to get a dsl line laid across the length of the entire room so I could connect (the access to wireless was blacked-out), and generally was an amazing person to have my back.
A very LA day, I must admit.