Dear Postal Employee,

usps.gifHi, it’s me. The girl who muttered, “Oh, for fuck’s sake” when you were helping me this afternoon. Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I know — you don’t make the rules. You just make up the rules.

Sorry! That’s a baseless accusation. No, I don’t have the Postal Employee Handbook in front of me. I’m sure it’s a coincidence that we’ve only had two interactions with you and you’ve been a total bitch on a power trip both times.

Remember a year ago when my husband came in with our newborn son? A well-intentioned relative had the gall to address a package to the baby, and we got a slip in our mailbox to pick it up. You told my husband he couldn’t sign for it, because it required picture ID. From a newborn who didn’t even have a birth certificate yet. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I came in twenty minutes later and explained the situation to one of your coworkers, and he let me sign for the package.

So. Today. I had a package to mail. All addressed and taped up and ready to go. But you wouldn’t let me send it. “That tape is unacceptable,” you told me. But I could pay a fortune to either buy post office-approved tape or send my package priority (in which case I could use the priority tape for free). Yeah, it was at that point that I cursed at you. Under my breath, at that. I am kind of a wuss. But seriously — my tape? It wasn’t going to peel off in transit. I wouldn’t have used it if it was shitty tape. But instead of examining it or asking me what kind it was, you just said no. I’m sure you have a very good reason. Maybe you’re psychic!

One more thing — do you wear your name badge backwards intentionally? I’m sure it isn’t because you know how impossible you are. If you knew you were hindering my letter of complaint, I’m sure you’d be embarrassed and turn your badge around right away!

Love and Kisses,

16 thoughts on “Dear Postal Employee,”

  1. “For Fuck’s Sake” Dammit I like it, I’m going to use it first chance I get.

  2. Annika — Next time I hope you wear your bulletproof vest… It’s not for nothing that we have the term “going postal” in our lexicon.

    And people wonder why gov’t (or semi-gov’t in the case of the USPS – whatever that means) employees get such a bad rap.

    I’m proud of you for keeping it under your breath. I don’t think I could have been so patient.

    What if someone got a package addressed to their dog????



  3. It’s really unfortunate, because EVERYONE else in that post office is SO nice and SO helpful. But she is the one who inspires a rant, making everyone at the post office look bad.

  4. There’s a lot of variation among postal employees. When I lived in Claremont, almost everyone was great except for one fill-in guy who sometimes delivered to my house. He was psychotic. I had to call the police once to get him to give me my mail.

    Our local L.A. post office (90035) is pretty good. All of the city of Chicago is horrible. But I’ve had just as bad if not worse from private sector people (especially the phone company), so I don’t buy the it’s because they’re government/post office (although the post office did hire a lot of whacked out Viet Nam vets back in the day).

  5. Oh man. Don’t get me STARTED on the Chicago post office. I had THREE packages stolen from me BY THE MAILMAN in about six months.

  6. Wow – I’ve generally had good luck with the PO – I susally use the Olympic & Main branch here in LA, and we have a totally cool little post office in the town where I have my mountain house – locals, PO boxes (so everyone goes to the PO regularly), that sort of thing. The worst one I can remember is an Anaheim branch near an old job I had 15 years ago – that was full of angry, stressed out people who constantly were sniping at each other and the public.

    I suppose it’s just like any other business – it really is a reflection of how the place is managed when you get right down to it. I didn’t mean to imply that “all” postal workers “go postal”…

  7. Just for future reference…I’ve discovered that it’s really really cheap to send packages via FedEx or UPS ground service, so I’ve stopped going to the post office. The last time I went to the post office to mail a package, I discovered that it would cost me twice what it would to send it FedEx. That was the last of that. And, if you set up a FedEx or UPS account online, you can pay for shipping on line, print out your own shipping labels and then just drop the package at a UPS store or Kinkos.

  8. I had a package stolen by a temporary carrier in Pasadena. When I complained, my local post office decided I was no longer allowed to receive packages at my home. They were going to make me pick up all packages at the post office until I complained to USPS headquarters.

  9. I live in Encino & I had a package stolen by the mailman. We wern’t home when he tried to deliver it, so he left a pink slip for us to pick it up at the post office. Which means he had the package in his hand to deliver. We went to the post office to pick it up, and they couldn’t find it. Never did find it. So it was someone from the post office that snatched it.

  10. Because that would have required thinking rationally while being bullied. I also could have mailed the box from the machine in the lobby, but I was so angry I couldn’t think straight.

  11. “for fuck’s sake” i love that and have been trying to bring it back full blown. its for sure a power trip for some people, they are the ones that were picked on in school and now they have a lil taste of power and abuse it on the regular.

  12. “For Fuck’s Sake” is a classic Brit-ism (not that they have a corner on the expression) that I picked up from my fiance/brit shows we’d watch. I now use it and didn’t realize it was rare until a coworker cracked up one day and said “that’s SO your catch-phrase.”

    Excellent and applicable use here!

  13. Sounds like you get tweaked easily. Sounds like you came in prepared to be upset – since you have apparently retained a detailed memory of the package-addressed-to-baby incident from a year ago – and the simple enforcement of postal regulations set you off. Sorry, but that’s what it sounds like. Postal workers are like metro-bloggers – some do their job well and some do not. Don’t be a hater.

  14. Tweaked? Nah, I don’t like uppers.

    Actually, I had no idea it was the same woman until I described her to my husband, who is the one she was nasty to last year. I went in prepared to mail a package. Nothing else. And it is not “simple reinforcement” if it is a nonexistent rule.

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