Rent a Bitch (or Stud)

Picture%2018.pngThink of it as an escort agency for people who love dogs. And really, seriously, there’s no sex involved. Just heavy petting. Walks in the park. And maybe, if the service is really good, you can give them a bone. And the best part? No attachments! Just drop them off when you’re done, and you pay by the hour.

Damn you Thrillist for discovering this instead of me: Flexpets is, in their words, “a timeshare for dogs”. Which is nice way of saying you’re renting a pet because, for whatever reason, you can’t commit to being a full time canine owner.

Here’s how it works (per Thrillist L.A.):

…members take an hour-long, one-on-one class with a trainer to bone up on easy commands, basic dog psychology, and no-no’s like feeding the dog a pan of brownies. Once checked out, you can reserve a member of FP’s furry crew for anywhere from a few hours to a week. The service’ll deliver your buddy right to your home, and collect him when you’re done…

According to its website, Flexpets currently has locations in Santa Monica and San Diego.

While there’s nothing to compare it to, I feel unqualified to say it isn’t cheap:

  • $150 registration fee + $99.95 annual account maintainence charge + $39.95 monthly service charge… and that’s just to get slobbery tennis ball rolling.
  • The cost to rent the actual dogs starts at $19.95/day for weekdays, $29.95/day for weekends, with a two day minimum require per month of a minimum one year membership. Oh, and if you turn a dog in late, there’s a $75/day late fee.
  • If you want the dog dropped off or picked up, its an additional $17.50 each way.
  • No indication if happy endings are included.

I take that back. I do feel qualified to say that it isn’t cheap. Some people get paid to do the above: it’s called dogwalking.

But if I find out Flexpets is actually profitable, I’m sure I can find some suckers who I can charge to come over and water my plants.

Thrillist’s coverage here… photo from Flexpets…

7 thoughts on “Rent a Bitch (or Stud)”

  1. This is the weirdest thing ever. Do you think these dogs enjoy getting bounced around town into different environments every few hours/days/weeks?

  2. If someone’s really jonesing to spend QT with a fine furry friend, may I suggest volunteering with The Amanda Foundation ( They’ll letcha walk ’em, hug ’em, and I bet if you’re really good take ’em home for a night.

  3. Amanda Foundation is great. And yes, once they get to know you, they let you take the dog to the park, or even home for a few days till they find a permanant home for the dog. I agree with KLG, how unfair is it to pimp out the dogs?

  4. Oh…My…God…

    I made a joke how I should open up a dog rental biz after visiting Aspen/Vail several x-mases ago. If only I had taken that joke a step further.

  5. THANK YOU Lisa Bee and Matt. This really pisses me off. If people want quality time with a dog or cat, they should volunteer for Amanda Foundation (or any of the numerous organizations around town). GrrrRrowl.

  6. this was a Joey Skaggs media prank in the 60s or 70s… -a cathouse for dogs.

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