So, gifted as I have been with the [somewhat] bully pulpit that is b.LA, I have decided to post on a subject dear to my heart–one in which I have been forging forward with research since I was a child–and discuss with you something upon which I have often mused, with no resolution.
What is the Mormon-trampoline connection?
I know, it’s totally out of the blue. It’s even a little religiously discriminatory. But I’m asking out of the purest incredulity in my heart–I mean, I’ve wanted to know the answer to this since I was in elementary school, and my only friends with trampolines were also…Mormon. And very nice people. Very nice people…with trampolines.
Is it the “good clean fun” element? Is it that a trampoline somehow stems the surging tide of humanity that is five children? Closer to God that way? Is it just proximity–one person at church buys a trampoline, talks it up with the other congregants, and presto, soon everyone’s got ’em?
Now, I must give the disclaimer: NOT ALL MORMONS HAVE TRAMPOLINES. Ok? I’ve met a lot of people who are Mormon who simply look at me with a mix of disgust and noncomprehension when I ask.
But, more often than not, a friend will mention a Mormon acquaintance of theirs, and I’ll interject, “–Do they have a trampoline?” and my friend’s eyes will widen in amazed recognition. “Yes!” they exclaim. “Yes they do! WHY?”
I. Don’t. Know.
Please, Los Angeles. Humor me. Enlighten me. Make it all make sense.
(FWIW, I was born Presbyterian, and about 80% of us have George Foreman Grills. So I ain’t discriminatin’ here, yo.)