My Secret Obsession, Revealed!

tramp.jpgSo, gifted as I have been with the [somewhat] bully pulpit that is b.LA, I have decided to post on a subject dear to my heart–one in which I have been forging forward with research since I was a child–and discuss with you something upon which I have often mused, with no resolution.

What is the Mormon-trampoline connection?

I know, it’s totally out of the blue. It’s even a little religiously discriminatory. But I’m asking out of the purest incredulity in my heart–I mean, I’ve wanted to know the answer to this since I was in elementary school, and my only friends with trampolines were also…Mormon. And very nice people. Very nice people…with trampolines.

Is it the “good clean fun” element? Is it that a trampoline somehow stems the surging tide of humanity that is five children? Closer to God that way? Is it just proximity–one person at church buys a trampoline, talks it up with the other congregants, and presto, soon everyone’s got ’em?

Now, I must give the disclaimer: NOT ALL MORMONS HAVE TRAMPOLINES. Ok? I’ve met a lot of people who are Mormon who simply look at me with a mix of disgust and noncomprehension when I ask.

But, more often than not, a friend will mention a Mormon acquaintance of theirs, and I’ll interject, “–Do they have a trampoline?” and my friend’s eyes will widen in amazed recognition. “Yes!” they exclaim. “Yes they do! WHY?”

I. Don’t. Know.

Please, Los Angeles. Humor me. Enlighten me. Make it all make sense.

(FWIW, I was born Presbyterian, and about 80% of us have George Foreman Grills. So I ain’t discriminatin’ here, yo.)

11 Replies to “My Secret Obsession, Revealed!”

  1. Something about this reminds me of the Flanders’ children: “Each jump brings us closer to the Lord. Catch me, Jesus! Catch me!”

  2. I just watched a documentary about Fred Phelps (The guy who has his followers picket those horrible “God Hates Fags” signs) on YouTube. All the family’s homes are connected by one big backyard where they’ve removed all the connecting fences and guess what, they have a trampoline too!

    I ask the same thing, what’s up with the connection between Christian “cults” and bouncy trampolines?

  3. You know what, the kid around the corner from me had a big fancy trampoline – and they were Mormon too. How odd.

    Maybe it’s just seems like a connection because, if lots of Mormon families are members of the same churches/temples, then one kid gets a trampoline, then they all want a trampoline . . . Just a trendy backyard object?

    i just emailed my fiance to ask if he knows the affiliations of his neighbors -who have a trampoline. perhaps more data points incoming?

  4. i was raised mormon. my parents bought a trampoline because whenever we visited my (also mormon) cousins, we spent hours jumping. when we got ours all the neighborhood kids came over to jump. my parents didn’t mind unless it was sunday, then they put big obstructions on the trampoline so kids wouldn’t break the sabbath. since then, all the houses in my old neighborhood (where we were the only mormons) have them. i think trampolines are contagious.

  5. oh, one more thing. i talked about this with my cousins recently, trampolines are only fun when there are too many people on the trampoline. so it figures that mormons with big families would buy them. probably not the sort of thing you’d buy for your only child.

  6. I was born/raised in Los Angeles (Silver Lake) but now reside in Salt Lake City, UT…everyone here has a trampoline in their back yards! As best as I could tell from comments made by Mormon friends here, the trampolines keep their numerous kids occupied. Almost no one has a swimming pool out back, but almost everyone has a trampoline!

  7. Possibly Josh is right. It may be the trampolines themselves that are virulent, and like any virus, they’re spread through the community they come in contact with. Then the question would be…why the Mormons?

    Why, Lord, have you chosen to afflict only the Mormons with this virus of trampolinism?

    ;)

  8. and what is with the Mormon-wood grain (on vehicles) conection??

    growing up in IL, I had 1 friend with a trampoline, not mormon. Howeverm while not every station wagon/mini van with wood grain on the side were owned by mormons, all the station wagons/mini vans owned by mormon families has wood grain.

    perhaps the two are related…

Comments are closed.