Dear Car And Or Motorcycle Drivers Who Were In The Alley Behind Hoover St. Last Night:
Our bedroom window is on a level with the alley. I don’t know how you managed to crash your vehicles at 3:30am, but you seriously scared me because I half expected the car to come through the window. Please refrain from playing bumper cars in the middle of the night.
Also, you left car bits all over the alley. Please come pick them up now.