Underneath downtown Los Angeles lives a race of lizard people whose presence predates the city itself as well as modern man. First let’s get something straight, people thinking there are lizard people under LA is totally sweet.
Seriously, the most disappointing part about this legend is that there aren’t any totally sick stories of lizard men and ladies coming up out of the ground to go get drinks at downtown bars and go dancing at La Cita. Or even eating people.
Whatever. Apparently, these lizard folks built the secret underground city, one of 13, in about 3000 BC but it wasn’t until 1934 that a man named G.Warren Shufelt discovered the vast system of tunnels and rooms stretching from the central library all the way to Dodger Stadium. How did Shufelt discover these tunnels beneath the city? Well, with a secret machine of his own invention, of course! Shufelt built a machine that could detect via radio the electrical similarities of matter which had the same chemical, physical or even vibrational character. Whaaa? Yeah so this instrument was essentially a pendulum suspended within a glass cylinder within a black case. There were compasses on the outside of the case and the operator would hold a copper wire which would help direct him to various objects and allow him to see through the earth. Oh oh! There is more about this crazy dude and his lizard people after the jump!
For example, by putting a piece of human hair in the machine, the machine would then naturally attempt to seek out the person the hair came from based on their vibrational properties or some such. Well, Shufelt didn’t know what he’d stumbled upon until during his research he ran into Hopi Indian Chief Little Greenleaf. Greenleaf blew Shufelt’s mind with stories of the 13 cities of the lizard people and then when Schufelt explained what he’d found underneath LA, Little Greenleaf went totally bonkers! Shufelt had found one of the lost lizard cities!
Shufelt went back and did some more discovering and found huge cavernous rooms filled with large tablets that were, naturally, made of solid gold. Recorded upon the golden tablets were the entire history of man and probably a bunch of other stuff that was awesome. So what did Shufelt do? He convinced the city to let him dig a big hole on North Hill street, overlooking Sunset Boulevard, Spring street and North Broadway. Yeah, like 250 foot shaft going straight down to lizard gold and lizard super-knowledge.
Except all he found was dirt.
Also some rocks.
Of course, there was a reported siting of a lizard man all dressed up in normal clothes chillin on Mt. Shasta a few decades ago, so maybe Shufelt and his super vibrational finding machine were onto something? If any lizard people are reading this call me, seriously, let’s go dancing.
-For more info you should read this piece from the Los Angeles Times from January 29, 1934 at reptoids.com Also, they’ve got a big map of the underground tunnels.
-The dudes at The Reptilian Agenda have some history and theory as well. Those dudes seem pretty balanced. (cough cough)
-Even the LA City Nerd has some facts, mostly because he knows everything. Has anyone ever seen the LA City Nerd? He does know everything…I think it’s more than possible that he’s one of the last remaining lizard people and it’s his superlizard intellect that keeps him all smart. This is surprisingly plausible. Come dance like the lizard you are City Nerd! C’mon, do it!