Stalking The Wild, Fat, Non-Feral Bunny

It’s a rare and wonderous moment–one afforded to the few, the brave, and the lucky–when one catches a glimpse–see how fast he is?! like a flash!–of the suburban-centric bunny species known as Fatticus Escapus.
BUNNY%21.jpg (Apologies for crappy cell phone pic)
Filling an essential role in nature’s byzantine web, Fatticus Escapus‘s grazing pattern and migratory behavior, often as far as the next yard over, provides a safe and stable hunting ground for Loud And Annoying Early Morning Mockingbird and creates clearings in otherwise rampant, wild and untamed Bermuda grass. Here, on these vast, open plains of finely nibbled verdancy, the intrepid squirrel, in search of a hiding spot for his ill-gotten gains from That Dude On The Other Side Of The Block Who Gives Whole Walnuts To The Fucking Squirrels, shall find no quarter–because, as we have seen (sadly, no photographic evidence exists), the raccoons of Canoga Park patrol this block, and confiscate all buried nuts for their own nefarious plots.

When approached, this particular representative of Fatticus Escapus managed a brave and effortful slump to the left, and may even have made a “flop” sound as he awkwardly moved his bulk away from me by approximately eight inches.

6 Replies to “Stalking The Wild, Fat, Non-Feral Bunny”

  1. … Sounds like the typical overfed, underexercised, catatonic, and yes, bloated, suburban or hummer driving TV addicted couch potato! Nice to see our human habits transfer so well to the animal kingdom. I can hear that ponderous bunny right now – “haaay – when’s Survivor coming on?” –

    We don’t have any of those Downtown. It isn’t the coyotes that would have him for dinner… LOL.

    Cool words. Lucinda. Made me laugh!

  2. Rabbits own LBCC. If you’ve ever been there (the Liberal Arts Campus, not the one on PCH), you’ll know what I mean.

  3. Lies! Damn lies! This honorable species does in fact exist in the city. Three years ago I spotted a wild wabbit on Sunset Blvd. at Maltman. I was shocked and amazed at the tenacity. What was it eating? Cigarette butts and Siete Mares trash?

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