But can someone tell me what gunshots sound like?

How can I tell if the pops I keep hearing around our house (different places) are fireworks versus bullets?

I’m hoping it’s the former, but I realize that it could be the latter…

…Thanks.

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Yeah, I know this isn’t Blogging.riverside, but it’s become a tradition (or at least now in its second year) that my mom takes my wife and I out for dinner Christmas Eve. Last year it was Pacific Dining Car, but this year we opted to make the 50-mile trek out to Riverside’s historic Mission Inn, a place we’d never been. Such a hop might seem a long way to go for a meal, but with the landmark’s rich history, its two-million-bulbs-strong Festival Of Lights and a fine dinner in its marvelous courtyard it was a wonderful way to get into the spirit of the season (more photos here on Flickr).

Merry Christmas everyone.

Although we have no snow, Christmas in Los Angeles is a pretty exciting place. Who can forget Christmas Eve about twenty years ago when the terrorists tried to blow up the Nakatomi building in Century City? There was also that December in 1986 when a couple LAPD officers went on a bloodbath knocking off members of a heroine smuggling ring. And, I’m not sure if this is real or from a book, but there was the Bloody Christmas incident of 1951where some cops beat up a bunch of Hispanic prisoners…

I’m sure I’m overlooking a couple. But while I’m at it, after the jump I’m listing a handful of dramatic interpretations of L.A.’s Christmas’ past… take a look, and feel free to remind me of others in the comments.
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Around this time of year, I get sick of tamales. I’m not the only one either. My siblings get tired of hearing “tamales” every time we ask “what’s for breakfast?” (or lunch or dinner). Yes, there is such a thing as too many tamales… and I’m not referring to the Gary Soto kids book of the same title.

My family, like many other Mexican families makes tons of tamales. Well, not tons, but 20 pounds of masa (the cornmeal mix) worth. My mother, grandmother and another aunt got together on Thursday to make 200 tamales to feed about several families. The “tamalada” is a big production much like the Carmen Lomas Garza painting of the same name. The kids are charged with cleaning the “hojas” (cornhusk leaves). My grandmother was always the one making the meat and chile stuffing and then adding that stuffing to the tamales before folding them and stacking them like bricks in a giant pot. The other women, my mom and aunts, spread the masa all over the hojas.

Once all the mess of the tamalada is cleaned up and every aunt gets her share of tamales, my family is left with several dozen sweet, red chile and pork, and cheese and chile tamales waiting to be gobbled up as soon as they’re ready and we run out right around Three Kings Day.

¬°Feliz Navidad!

Unfortunately, I’m not in L.A. to comment on what’s actually happening back home. I’m writing this from my parental units’ in Victoria, BC. Which is not far from Vancouver. But, while I can’t go out and comment on L.A. today, I finally have time to put together some more commentary on the WaPo article saying that L.A. has one of the top transit systems in the nation.

Victoria is not far from Vancouver, which does have one of the most outstanding transit systems in North America. Translink is the reason that many of my friends in Vancouver choose not to buy cars. Victoria is also close to Seattle, who, despite the monorail, have always had great public transit as well. I’ve lived on and off in both cities in the years before I came to L.A., and L.A.’s transit system is a little lacking in comparison. Here’s some of the differences I’ve personally observed between the MTA and the systems back up North that I think contribute to my perception of the MTA being a little misrepresented in the WaPo article:
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Maybe it’s genetic, maybe it’s Maybelline, but I’ve always been predisposed to opposing proposed legislation that wants to take the power out of the hands of the many and put it in the hands of the few. Thus it was with a particularly jaundiced eye that I watched Mayor ‘Tonio’s efforts to assume authority over the L.A. Unified School District.

From my decidedly layman’s perspective something about it never seemed quite right. For instance, doesn’t he already have enough to do as mayor without having to also run the massive district? Sure, LAUSD reform was a cornerstone of his campaign, but that’s nothing new. L.A.’s mayoral candidates as far back as I remember have ranted and railed about reigning in and revamping that runaway bureaucracy. It’s all just part of the rhetoric, like solving gridlock and putting more cops on the streets and all that blahblah.

Not for ‘Tonio. He got elected and set about grabbing that bullshit by the horns and with some big rhetoric through his big smile succeeded in bulldozing AB-1381 over any opposition and past the backslapping state legislature and governator who crowned him Lord of the LAUSD. The school board responded with a neener by hiring a retired navy admiral as the next superintendent, but other than that the coronation was all systems go until Superior Court Judge Dzintra Janavs jacked things up yesterday by calling the whole thing off because of a couple little problems she found… like the law being in violation of multiple provisions of the California Constitution and the Los Angeles City Charter. Bummer.
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Is anyone else totally digging on this windy weather? It’s gorgeous and sunny and warm and the wind is whipping the leaves all around the street. It’s like a blustery fall day in LA. I love it.

* Photo by Victory of the People

It’s official holiday vacation time which means I’m signing off on blogging until Tuesday to celebrate my first xmas staying in Los Angeles. I don’t get time off from blogging and the gallery at the same time so I’m looking forward to the down time…continue reading

While the polling results are suspicious, our completely unscientific web poll shows that blogging.la’s Grinch of the Year is City Council District #7 candidate Zuma Dogg!

Dogg received 33% of the 123 votes registered, ahead of real estate mogul Geoff Palmer’s 25%. Defying expectations (my own, specifically), South Central Farmers enemy Ralph Horowitz only received 17% of the votes. The Giant Village organizers received 11%, and Indie 103.1 execs earned a token 7%.

A remaining 7% gave write in candidates – four of which were for the Tribune Company. Apologies for leaving this one off the initial ballot! Other write in candidates included “liberal anti-development” bloggers (thanks, btw!), Kenny Pierce, and “meruelo” (sic)…

As part of the award package, Zuma Dogg receives a hastily Photoshopped image of himself by me, this link to where he can receive a well earned spanking (on his own dime), and of course the title and all the free publicity associated with it.

Congratulations, Zuma Dogg! May your heart grow three sizes today.

Have Friday off? Don’t know what to do with yourself? Didja miss Santacon, or did you go, but you miss it already?

Lament not, ye intrepid urban adventurer! The creators of last year’s utterly charming Bunny Hop (think a rabbit-y Santacon) have curated yet another bizarre “only in LA” event. Here’s what you have to do:

Dress like you’re going on safari. That’s right: “Dr. Livingstone, I presume?”-type safari. Butterfly nets, silly hats, khakis, binoculars: you get the idea.
Meet at Mr. T’s Bowl at 10am.
Be prepared to get your drink on.

The organizers have all sorts of mischief and fun planned, from the Museum of Jurassic Technology to a “Star Trek garden,” investigating bizarre architecture, and lots of other options–none as yet set in stone because much of the agenda will be up to YOU, the urban safari adventurer. Then in the late afternoon it’s back to Mr. T’s for an awards ceremony and drinks, drinks, drinks.

The Bunny Hop. Photo courtesy Denzoner of Stray Couches.

How often do you run into a one armed comic with big goofy eyes drawn onto her nub?

Never? Well, you weren’t in Rocket Video last night. The boyfriend and I were picking out something entertaining when along came Damienne. Turns out, tonight she is celebrating her nub’s third birthday by doing a comedy show at Tempest on Santa Monica Blvd (near La Brea) in West Hollywood.

My NUB is turning 3!!! I am performing to celebrate…ME!!! and the NUB!!! Loss of an arm = birth of a Nub (really great spooner!) This just in…TV’s beloved, Mo Collins from MAD TV will be roasting the NUB!

Presents are not required- but if you insist…here are a few ideas!

#1 donate to Stem Cell research…HA!!
#2 Tattoo gift certificates http://velvetgrip.com/index2.html
How better to express love than to decorate something???
#3 Bike Shop gift certificates http://www.bicyclejohns.com/locations.htm (Burbank)
#4 IPOD for while I’m on the Damn bike!!!
#5 Save your $$$ to SPONSOR me when I do the AIDS ride in JUNE. 545 MILES!!!

Damienne had me cracking up last night. I won’t tell the story of her nub, but she is very open about it and has a great attitude and that gives her a lot of comic material. And I probably gave her a lot of material last night too. I was flabbergasted to run into a bubbly one armed comic with googly eyes sharpied on her nub. Really. Only in LA. Go see the show. And donate money to stem cell research while you’re at it.

. . . you own one (or both) of these Christmas stockings, seen at Target in Pasadena.

Five last minute stocking stuffer and Hannukah gift ideas for the blogger in your life

Okay, this is a shameless hint for my girlfriend who probably hasn’t been able to track me down a Wii or PS3 yet*. But I think many Los Angeles bloggers at LAist, LA Observed, Los Anjealous, LA Voice, Martini Republic, or Mayor Sams might also appreciate some of these.

Side note: Most of these are “virtual”, and may require some arts and crafts skills to make a coupon to compensate (or as an IOU)… but it puts the skills you learned making those “Breakfast In Bed” certificates for mom to good use.

1. While any writer can find wireless hotspots with ease, knowing which coffee shops will have available power outlets is unpredictable. For around $3, you can help them solve this problem with a 3-Outlet Adapter. When they show up and all the outlets are taken, they can casually ask to plug in their doo dad, and any other like energy users who show up after will appreciate the gesture.

2. Even though picture hosting/sharing site Flickr upgraded its service allowing for a large number of pictures to be uploaded for free, every writer secretly wants to have the “pro” tag next to their user name when people glance at their profile. For $24.95/year, the pro-account also allows for near unlimited storage for pics, and a few other bells and whistles they’ll be happy for. (Flickr also has a printable giftcard that allows you to give them a code for the upgrade offline, or simply send it their way via email).

3. Help them make the mental leap from blogger to journalist by purchasing a membership into the Los Angeles Press Club. There is an application process, and not everyone qualifies, but an envelope with a $75 check made out to the club and a copy of application with your blogger friend’s name on it shows that, at the very least, you consider them a serious writer.
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One of the worst things about weather reports is that they give a few temperatures across the city and you have to guess what’s in between. Often it’s just just an average of the other temps because of elevation, wind, etc and so you are kind of on your own. WeatherBonk is changing all of that by mixing real time local weather reports with google maps so you can see exactly, sometimes down to the block, what the weather is going to be like in the exact part of town you want to know about. And what it’s like right now, not just what the high and low for the day is going to be. Here’s the LA Map. Now mix in text based reports and local web cams and you are set. Battelle is right, I think we’re going to be seeing a lot more where this came from.