Things that go bump in the night

Disclaimer: Given that this is the National Day of Slayer and all I bet you are hoping this is some kind of post about ghosts or Slayer or something but unfortunately it’s more of a time break out of what actually happened at my house last night.

3:00am – BANG!!! SCREECH!!!

3:01am – Me to Caryn “WTF was that?!!”

3:05am – I hear Mike, my landlord who lives upstairs, running down the stairs outside. I get dressed, run outside to see nothing in front of my house, however there’s a car parked in the middle of the road half way down the block. Mike is looking at our cars and confirms his fears that his was just plowed into. The left front wheel is about 90 degrees in the wrong direction and side panels are pushed all together.

3:10am – Mike heads down to the car in the road while I inspect the damage, he hands me the phone to call the police. He’s got the local dispatch on speed dial and I speek with Officer something or other and tell him what just happened. He asks if anyone is injured, I yell down to Mike, he confirms everyone is OK. The officer I’m talking says they should exchange info and that’s all. I ask if they are sending someone out and he says no. About then Mike gets back and says the girl driving is clearly under the influence of something and I relay that to the officer. He again says to exchange info and they are not sending anyone out. Out of the corner of my ear I hear the girl saying something to the effect that she didn’t think she really hit anything, or at least not that bad.

3:15am – After explaining the conversation I just had to Mike, he calls back in while I run down to take photos of the car in case the girl takes off. The girl who is clearly drunk starts yelling at me for taking photos asking if she should pose in them to make them more interesting and starts throwing things from her car at me. And by things I mean uncrumpled sheets of paper. Needless to say they didn’t actually hit me. I get back to my house in time to hear the last bit of the second phone conversation, basically “this girl is drunk, she’s already called AAA to come tow her car and could take off at any second. I don’t want her going home and sobering up and then denying this happened tomorrow.” Mike is more convincing than me and they decide to go ahead and send someone.

3:25am – the girl comes up to the house with Mike to exchange insurance info, she’s rambling on about how this is so funny because she drove around the block like 11 times looking for parking (meanwhile there tons of spaces on the street) and how she really needs to leave because she has to be at work in the morning.

3:40am – Mike calls the police for the 3rd time to see if they are sending someone. They confirm that someone is on the way. I’m getting eaten alive by bugs and things look under control so I call it a night and head back inside.

4:00am – I hear some car doors shutting and people taking and assume the police showed up.

6:00am – I head out to meet Mack and Will and catch Mike downstairs. Apparently this is all still going on, the sound I heard at 4:00am wasn’t the cops, but rather the girl taking off. Her car was almost undriveable but she bolted in it anyway. However she didn’t get more than a block down the street in it before stopping for some reason. The police had shown up and found her there around 4:30am. Mike had been down a few minutes before and they were giving her a field sobriety test (several hours after the fact). I resisted the urge to go look myself and went off to meet those guys.

9:00am – Mike finds out that the girl is 20 years old, uninsurred, and made up fake insurance info that she’d given him earlier.

11:00am – Mike’s car gets towed, since it’s completely undrivable and he goes to get a rental car.

1:00pm – I wake up from a nap, and listen to Slayer.

6 Replies to “Things that go bump in the night”

  1. This is so similar to what happened to me last week!
    Some asshole was hauling ass down Santa Monica Blvd at 1am and slammed into me, totaling both cars. He was out of his mind, jumping up and down, then claims he is “hurt”. The LAFD, who got there within 5 minutes, took him to UCLA-St Johns depite my begging them to do a field sobriety test. The jerkoff never gave his driver or insurance info, either.
    The cops finally show up 30 minutes later (note the police station was a mere 3 blocks away), saying that there were only 4 cars on duty for accident repsonse. (???) They strolled about the scene, wasting a good hour before heading out. Again I begged them to take a BAC or something on this guy. They told me that BEING IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT IS NOT PROBABLE CAUSE. What?!?
    So the moral of my story (and Sean’s too) is to always have AAA ready when you’re shitfaced, and blow the scene before the cops get there.

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