Relayed from Blogebrity who found it at Valleywag, comes the news that Stanley Kirk Burrell otherwise known as MC Hammer has commenced blogging.

From yesterday’s entry, Stanley relates a “horrible dream” he had in which he’s down on his luck somewhere in the south in 1968 and decides to become an officer of the law:

I walked into the sheriff’s office and immediately all eyes were on me. The room went silent and you could hear a rat pissin’ on cotton. My dark chocolate skin and my bold jaw line complimented [sic] my broad nose and my full lips. I opened my mouth and simply said, “I’m here to apply for a job as an officer.”

Rat pissin’ on cotton? Chocolate skin? Bold jaw line complementing his broad nose? I could go on cutting and pasting the ensuing strangeness that unfolds, but suffice it to say he’s accepted as a cadet and then gets beaten to death, all of which dovetails nicely into a plug for his new single, “History, I Won’t Give Up,” off his upcoming album “LookLookLook.”

And if that weren’t bad enough a moblog entry down the page shows that Hammer drives a Hummer, which sooooo overqualifies him for Shane’s asshole fine.