Today’s Parking Tard Brought To You By…

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I’ve written about it here before (pictured above left and center). I am writing about it again with today’s violator, at right. And it will no doubt be my density to write about it again. But before you calling the redundancy police on me please note that there are literally scores of other scofflaws I haven’t wasted your time about.

And they are a never-ending legion it seems. So here’s what I think can explain why soooo many vehicles block my driveway in the same exact way ‚Äî and no, it’s not just because they’re assholes… although that is a distinct contributing factor. But I think it goes deeper than that. I think somewhere out there exists a loosely knit shadow network of masochistic parking tards. Moreover, I think a prime directive of theirs is to partially block my driveway. That’s right: mine. I think they come from all over the country (this latest is a MIssouri-plated blue Toyota truck) to do so in the actual hope of getting a ticket, which they then display proudly to their fellow parking tards like a badge of honor at their monthly parking tard meetings and/or video conferences.

Keep ’em coming I say. I’m almost on a first-name basis with the parking enforcement dispatchers and there’s talk of making me an honorary officer… if I hit my quota.

7 Replies to “Today’s Parking Tard Brought To You By…”

  1. On Franklin just west of La Brea is an apartment building that painted a section of curb yellow. Those in the know will park there all the time. But for the most part, its used conveniently for deliveries and short termers. Legal? Probably not – but makes for a nice “life hack”.

  2. Will: Go directly to Home Depot or your local paint store and buy half a gallon of red curb paint – it’s a specially-formulated-and-tinted mix that resists weather and tire abuse. Slather it all over the curb from your driveway to the right about 3 feet.

    We did this at our old house in West L.A. when patrons at the speed shop and the birthday factory across the street parked the street up so bad that people were literally parking completely across our driveway and the problem stopped immediately. Bottom line – I don’t think the Parking Authority cares who put the paint on a curb, just so they get to write their quota and go home. Seriously, your troubles will end immediately.

  3. That sucks. I go out of my way to avoid being that guy, because someday, Will, you’re going to snap and take a bat to that car. And I don’t want it to be mine.

    Doesn’t anyone have any courtesy for others?

  4. why! why! why do they just take the space as if they own it and then get rude and defensive when i tell them to please move?.. see the cars over here that you are blocking???????

    i have parking enforcement on speed dial, have painted the sides of the driveway red and still they come almost 4-5 times a week. if not to park/block then to use it as their drop off/pick up/hang-out-i’m-not-really-parked-here-spot-b/c-i’m-in-the-car.

    i’m on hold now for a black bmw who took the time to park and repark right in the middle of my driveway entrance.

    i made a proposal to my city council district 13- which would effectively create a parking space and prevent assholes from blocking the driveway- to support and pass an ordinance per dmv code 22507.2 which allows parking in private driveway by permit.

    it fell flat, they said i was only one person complaining, eventhough other people on my block experience the same every day- about the lack of street parking, wanting to create additional parking, pushing for their support for an ordinance that the dmv has a SPECIFIC code for- for gawds sake! to support an ordinance that other cities already have in place and are using.

    please, to all that are fed up with the asses that must hang their ass over the driveway and block you in, call/write your neighborhood council districts and tell them you want this. that you want the city to allow private owners the right to create an additional parking space in front of their driveways if they choose to and thereby prevent others from blocking them in.

    its worth a shot. though the revenge is sweet, i hate waiting for parking enforcement to come and even more, the fact i even have to call them.

    and cd 13 eric garcetti, if you see this, please contact me. your senior case manager and district director of constituent services have my name and number.

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