Michael Jackson’s ex is accusing him of kidnapping their children.
Jackson and his children are in Bahrain. [Bahrain? WTF?] [A gossip website that’s not getting any google juice from me] said. Rowe [The no-longer-being-paid-off-ex-wife] wants custody of the kids and allegedly said the pop singer underhandedly took them out of the country to make it difficult for her to get them.
Awesome. Now all we need is a beautiful white woman to get into some sort of trouble and a shark attack, and everything will be right back to normal. Back to you in the studio, Paul Moyers.