Once and for all, fellow drivers:
1. If you elect to jump into the right-hand lane (or, in case of impending lane-closure, the left-hand lane) with the intention of blowing past the rest of us patiently waiting in line, you should do so in a way that (a) does not compromise anyone else’s safety and (b) does not impede what would be our normal flow. In other words, if you’re in a high-end sports car and want to test your 0 to xxx speed, knock yourself out. If you’re a lame asshat in a Honda Civic, seriously consider staying put.
2. If you are a lame asshat and blow your advanced maneuver, sit it out on the sidelines and quietly meditate on your asshat-ness in your Honda Civic. Do not cause me to slam on my brakes and definitely do not flip me off and call me a beeyotch to cover up your embarrassment over being a rude, subpar driver in a losermobile*.
3. If everyone else is stopped in mid-left-hand turn and your view is obscured by a city bus, do NOT jump into the other turn lane and hit the gas because there may in fact be a legitimate reason the rest of us are stopped, like the 85-year-old lady trying to cross Wilshire with nothing to help her but a cane and blind faith in her fellow man.
*For the record, I drive a 2004 Toyota Corolla, which would definitely fall under the category of “losermobile”. I love my car, though, and I work within the limitations of its accelerating power.