Pussy Power!

cat tummy.jpgThereís an alpha female in my household, and Iím shocked to admit it isnít me! For the past couple of months Iíve been trying to teach my cat that dry cat food is the regular every day fare and the ëwetí canned stuff is for special occasions and treats. The dry stuff is better for her teethÖ.and quite frankly a whole lot cheaper. Sheís having none of it.
Sheís tried crying incessantly in the most pitiful yowl imaginable. Out the door she goes.
So now sheís resorted to guerilla warfare tactics playing kitty hardball by bringing me ever larger rat carcasses and dumping them anywhere from the front door to the recent foot of my bed at 4 in the morning. Luckily, she kept her kill on the floor. She massacres the thing and eats the stomach, leaving only the head, tail and little rat-paws. I canít help but think about the tiny rat morsels that may still be hanging around her mouth when she jumps up to nuzzle me and sit in my lap. Worse, now sheís upped the ante and has moved on to baby bunnies. Iím horrified! Have you ever tried to discipline a cat? Doesnít work. Spanking the pussy just wonít solve the problem in this case.
I know itís her hunter instinct and part of me wants to think sheís bringing her prey to please me, but I know her better. Sheís psyching me out and showing me that if I wonít give her the good stuff, sheíll go out and get it herself. I am pussy whipped for the first time in my life. Iím off the to pet food store to buy her favorite canned food to stop the carnage.

4 Replies to “Pussy Power!”

  1. …”spanking the pussy”… that’s genius.
    And I’m pretty sure that she’s trying to show you that she’s worthy of the wet food. You’re good to balance her diet with dry, but don’t hesitate to experiment with dry, because you might stumble upon one that she’ll actually dig.

  2. My folks had a female cat that they fed a chopped-together mixture of dry and wet food (on advice from a vet); this was done to fool her in to eating the dry food and it seemed to work. She lived 18 years on that mixture, which is not bad for a cat.

    And, if we came back late and hadn’t fed her, then she’d greet us with a freshly-killed rat, mouse, or baby bird on the front porch. She always seemed to do this just for kicks; but, I guess finding food or making a display of worthiness was her real motivation.

  3. Dude, at least your cat doesn’t catch rats and mice, then just play with them – without killing them – like my mom’s cat. He’s beautiful, but diabolical.

    I also had a cat who used to catch rats and rabbits and bring them to the back patio door. Her name was Pepsi (don’t ask) but he seemed to know better than to bring them into the house. It might be a good idea to keep your screen doors and windows closed so that she learns she can’t come inside with her victims. On the other hand, it won’t stop her from leaving her offering at the door/window. Experimenting with dry food and mixing the stuff up are good ideas. And, if you REALLY need to punish your cat – give her a bath. Heheh. They hate that, and you’ll get some added comfort that hopefully the bath will wash away any gore.

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