And what of the Nerds?

May 18, 2005 at 2:34 pm in Uncategorized

chalkwars.jpgSince Star Wars : Episode III : Revenge of the Sith opens tonight at midnight I’m sure you are clicking every link you can find on the internet trying to find out what the crap is going on with the Liner Uppers. We haven’t posted about it recently because Jaymes paid me $500 in cash to shut up about it, well, that and they just got too damn boring. But, since this all ends today I figured I’d throw a nice little bow on the situation just to finish it out. According to the Nerd HQ there’s 334 people waiting in line, and according to the rules “You need to be in Line for the final 24 hours before Episode III opens.”

Guess what?

There’s not 334 people waiting in line right now. Why? Well I think that a bunch of them just gave up or something. Thanks to my 1337 H4X0R Sk1llz I got access to their secret message boards that no one even knows about and lets just say that the arguments on there were WAY more interesting than the ones on the public board. There’s mega dissent in the ranks. But who really cares about that at this point? You just want to know what’s going on with the nerds who are still waiting at Graumans.

Well. Let me tell you.

In a sign of good will George Lucas offered to send some kind of a freaking battalion of Storm Troopers over to the line to escort the waiters over to the Arclight for the opening. Like a nerd parade. He wasn’t even going to charge them or require them to hold up NetFlix logos. And… they said no. They said he could take his escort and shove it. How totally un-fan-like. The thing is, I think some of the linesters wanted the escort, in fact it was their wet dream, but the other nerds killed it for them. Right now the nerds are divided into three groups. Lets look at those.

  1. Nerds who are going to Arclight. We’ll call these guys the smart ones since everyone knows Arclight is quite possibly the best theater ever built. These are the people who really want to see the movie the best way it can possibly be seen. This is not an opinion, it’s documented fact. So step off.
  2. Nerds who are going to the Vista. We’ll call these the guys the grumpy ones. These are the ones who are blaming Arclight for Grauman’s not showing Episode III, as if there’s any connection and refuse to accept that Grauman’s lost the movie all on their own. You can recognize these guys by their big frowns – however they still want to see the movie.
  3. And finally, and these are really the standouts here – the nerds who are not leaving and will be picketing or something in front of of the Chinese to make sure everyone knows how angry and nerdy they are. They are the ones who don’t give a crap about the movie and just want to stomp around and complain about junk. I don’t even know what to call this group… except SELLOUTS! Because now, on the last day, they are caving in and joining group #1. Some of them anyway. And now they are letting the Storm Troopers escort them. How shocking. That is from their protest site.

Me? I’m going to see it next week at Arclight when there’s no crowds, and no drama.

[photo by pt | full star wars line coverage]

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