Everyone is talking about Coachella. Coachella this, Coachella that. Are you going to Coachella? What do you want to see at Coachella? How excited are you about Coachella? LAist even has some suggestions on things to keep in mind while enjoying the show. Since more than a few people have mentioned it to me, I decided to put up a list of my own suggestions for people who want to have a good time at Coachella, here they go, I hope they help.
- Don’t go.
- No, really. Don’t go.
- If you decide to ignore the first two tips, be sure to smuggle in some razorblades which you’ll need to have access to in order to slit your own wrists a few hours in to the ordeal.
- If #3 sounds too harsh, refer to numbers 1 & 2
There you have it. I mean, if being stuck in the middle of the satanically hot desert with a billion sweaty dirty people who are packed in so close to you that you can’t move and you have to buy water and eat sand and generally get roasted alive while having your ears pounded by crappy music because you can’t get anywhere near the good stuff sounds like fun they have at it but otherwise stay the hell away. Music festivals in their own right rank high on my “never go anywhere near” list but I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than go to a music festival in the middle of the desert. I’d rather drink shards of glass.