Coachella Tips from

Everyone is talking about Coachella. Coachella this, Coachella that. Are you going to Coachella? What do you want to see at Coachella? How excited are you about Coachella? LAist even has some suggestions on things to keep in mind while enjoying the show. Since more than a few people have mentioned it to me, I decided to put up a list of my own suggestions for people who want to have a good time at Coachella, here they go, I hope they help.

  1. Don’t go.
  2. No, really. Don’t go.
  3. If you decide to ignore the first two tips, be sure to smuggle in some razorblades which you’ll need to have access to in order to slit your own wrists a few hours in to the ordeal.
  4. If #3 sounds too harsh, refer to numbers 1 & 2

There you have it. I mean, if being stuck in the middle of the satanically hot desert with a billion sweaty dirty people who are packed in so close to you that you can’t move and you have to buy water and eat sand and generally get roasted alive while having your ears pounded by crappy music because you can’t get anywhere near the good stuff sounds like fun they have at it but otherwise stay the hell away. Music festivals in their own right rank high on my “never go anywhere near” list but I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than go to a music festival in the middle of the desert. I’d rather drink shards of glass.

8 thoughts on “Coachella Tips from”

  1. I’m with you, Big Daddy. Rather eat my own eye than be crushed up with a bunch of filthy hippies and trust fund existentialists.

    Bright side: They will all develop skin cancer (and possibly rabies) and then we can have their parking spaces.

  2. I suggest going to what I like to call the “Anti-Coachella” music festival. Which is also in the desert nearby, but in a much nicer local, about 2 weeks after Coachella. Great music, good people and a few dirty hippies. : )

  3. I had the same attitude in the past. But this will be the first year I’m going because I couldn’t resist the line-up.

    Also, this looks like it will be one of the best weather years Coachella will ever have… the highs will only be in the mid 80s.

  4. coachella has been my single favorite weekend of the year four years running. yes, it can be hellish and grueling. some people run marathons for fun. i go to coachella. it’s probably the finest music festival in the world, and coldplay notwithstanding, has some of the best bands in the world, known and unknown. don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.

  5. I have a hard enough time finding the motivation to go see my favorite bands perform at a regular venue. People at concerts always seem to find a way to piss me off, and I imagine it would only be worse at a festival (not counting Lilith Fair, heh). Considering there are only four bands at Coachella I like, and maybe 4 or 5 more I might be interested in checking out, it isn’t even close to being worth the crap I’d have to put up with.

    I’d rather go to Roskilde, but that’s at least in part because it’s in Denmark, and not a freaking desert.

  6. Just got back from the much-hyped Coachella and officially loved it. See you there next year.

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