I think the turgid saga of the Star Wars Line is one of the most entertaining things to hit the Internets since Strongbad answered his first e-mail.
When blogging.la broke the story, I off-handedly posted
“The Star Wars line is pissed because they think Star Wars should be at Graumans, not at Arclight, so they are not moving the line in protest.
Not moving the line in protest.
Okay. I don’t use this phrase lightly, but. . .
Get a life.
I’m serious. Get. A. Life.
This clearly rubbed some people the wrong way, because I got so much hate mail, you’d think that Jar Jar Binks was my idea (for the record, it was not, but casting Hayden Christensen was. Sorry about that.)
So I sent an e-mail to one of them, which I post here as an open letter to the Star Wars Line:
Dear Star Wars Line,
I’m really sorry that you’re so offended. I was just playing around. I learned a long time ago that I have to be able to laugh at myself. (I’m the guy who had not one, but *two* newsgroups dedicated to hating him, remember?) I think it’s awesome that you guys are raising money for charity, but I hope you can see the humor in a bunch of people waiting in line at the wrong theatre, refusing to move to the theatre a couple of blocks away that *is* showing the movie. And framing it as an act of protest . . . well, that’s really funny. Movies are not the sort of thing that one generally associates with protests. Civil rights? Sure. Anti-war? Sure. Clean up this toxic waste dump? Sure.
But we’re not moving until you put the movie here? We’re not moving in protest? And look at the drama surrounding the whole thing: There are “cliques” of people, and “cool kids” and “factions” waiting in line at the wrong theatre, refusing to move in protest? And the self-righteous indignation? If you can’t see the humor in this, you’re really missing out.
I think it’s great that you guys are so passionate, but I also think you’re taking yourselves far too seriously. But, look, man, at the end of the day, how I feel doesn’t mean shit. If you guys believe you’re doing something important, then by all means, keep at it. Have fun, have a party, raise money, and kick ass. (But you should probably get some Arclight tickets just as a back up — I won’t tell anyone.)
Again, I am truly sorry that you and other lining-up-ers are so offended. I can’t speak for any of my fellow blogging.la contributors, but I really do think your passion is fantastic, and I grok the idea of seeing the last Star Wars movie in the same place the original film debuted (The studio is missing a huge opportunity to bring the whole thing full-circle, but do you really expect anything different from the people who turned The Force into a virus?) . . . but I wish you could see the humor, also. I didn’t intend to put you all down. I’m sure you’re all great people who believe they’re doing the right thing for the children. I was just enjoying the absurdity and humor.
I sincerely hope that you all enjoy your time in line, and I hope that the final movie doesn’t suck as much as Episode One.
May The Force be with you,
Late last night, Sean and I thought it would be funny to make T-shirts that sort of celebrate the absurdity of the whole thing, but mostly to raise money for the children. Please, think of the children.